


The World Is Getting Stranger

by kyewopen



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst, Betrayal, Fluff, Homophobic Language, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, bet, joshler - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-01-17 07:23:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 60,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12360537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyewopen/pseuds/kyewopen
Summary: 'Let's pick someone and if you can date them for two months then you win'[The one where Josh is making a bet with his friends and ends up dating Tyler for money but accidentally falls in love with him]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm bad at summaries but I'm very excited about this fic

Josh wasn't a bad person. He didn't consider himself to be a bad person and you could ask everyone around him, whether it be his family, his friends or even the students he didn't really know at school, and no one would tell you Joshua Dun was a genuinely bad person. He could be a little bit goofy and insensitive from time to time but everybody has their flaws, after all and Josh was far from thinking that his insensitiveness could lead him to act like a complete asshole and to fall in love at the same time.

It was a Monday, Josh was about to start his last year in this high-school and he sure didn't think he could betray someone in the worst way possible, as he will do later during the year. No, Josh definitely couldn't do that.

He woke up this morning by hearing the ringtone of his cellphone. He hated being woken up by a ringtone but of course, he had forgotten to set a song as his alarm the night before. That's how oblivious he was and he was about to close his eyes once again and ignore his ringtone when his father opened his door wide and smiled at him for a few seconds.

 

'Time to get up, big boy! You wouldn't want to be late for your first day of class. You're a senior now!' He said, knowing that his son wouldn't get up otherwise. 'By the way, breakfast is ready downstairs.'

'I'll be down in a minute, dad.' Josh answered. To be honest and even if that probably sounded childish, Josh was secretly glad his father was waking him up every morning because he knew that if it wasn't for his father, he would skip a lot more classes than he actually did.

 

He yawned for a few seconds and got up, feeling very tired. He had gone to bed very late during the summer vacation and even though his mother had tried to convince him to go to sleep a little early during the last week to get used to it, Josh hadn't listened to her and was now feeling exhausted because he had fallen asleep at 3am the night before. And really, he could only blame himself for that.

He came out of the bathroom, dressed in ripped jeans, white tee-shirt and a black cap that was letting a few strands of his vibrant red hair poke out. He went downstairs and sat at the table where his brother and his sisters were already eating, his sister already reading a book for highschool and his brother only playing with his cereal with his spoon. This one had just started middle school and was gazing into space; Josh knew this one was probably getting very anxious.

 

'Okay guys, we're leaving, you don't want to be late!' His mother said, her car keys in her hand. 'Josh, do you want me to drive you?'

'No, I'll take the bus, don't worry about me.'

 

Josh didn't hear his mother answer him and he was soon alone in this big house, putting his shoes on before getting out of the house to walk to his bus stop, waiting patiently for it to arrive.

When Josh went in the building, he was very glad to see he had made it ten minutes early. He was immediately welcomed by his friends Brendon, Pete, and Jason who were waiting for him in front of his locker.

 

'Dun! You're on time, what happened?' Brendon asked.

'It's good to see you too, Bren.' Josh answered with a small smile on his face, giving him a quick hug, before doing the same with Pete and Jason.

'Last year in this shit-hole. We should do something special!' Brendon said.

'Like what?' Pete asked.

'I don't know, man, anything to kill time!'

 

Brendon looked at him with an excited look on his face, probably waiting for him to say something or to give him an idea, but Josh just shrugged his shoulders and turned away, colliding with something, or _someone_ who ended up falling on the ground, along with the few books he was holding in his hands.

 

'Watch it, dickhead!' Josh said and his three friends laughed at the kid who was gathering all his books with shaking hands before whispering a quick 'sorry' and disappearing out of Josh's field of vision.

 

Josh wasn't that mean, he had just gotten in the habit of matching the image he was reflecting in this highschool. He hadn't really done anything to create this image, people had just started to fear him very quickly, maybe because of the red hair or the gauges but Josh wasn't going to complain; he was secretly enjoying it because at least, he was being respected in this school, and if it meant scaring a few students, well he didn't mind.

He walked with a determined step to get to the first room, waiting for the teacher to show up so he could go inside. He had no idea what was his first period and the timetable they had received the day before was somewhere in his bag and he was definitely too lazy to check the subject. Brendon and Pete were behind him and seemed to talk about their respective summer vacation and Josh was wondering what they could tell each other because the three of them had spent the vacation together. They were basically seeing each other every day, whether it was in the city center or at one of their houses. Josh didn't hang out as much with Jason and to be perfectly honest, he didn't really know him as well as he knew his two other friends.

After a few minutes of waiting, he could see his history teacher from last year walking towards him and this classroom and Josh silently wished this one could continue on his way but Josh had never been very lucky and when this teacher made eye contact with him and sighed, he figured he wasn't the only one to be mad about this.

 

'Well, well, well... Josh Dun... I was hoping I wouldn't see you again.' The teacher said.

'Well, just know that the feeling is shared.' Josh answered with a broad ironic smile on his face.

He went in the classroom and took a seat next to Brendon and looked up to see a weird kid he hadn't seen before, staying next to the teacher's desk with an annoyed look on his face.

'Listen up, kids! We have a new student coming all the way from Arizona. Tyler, would you want to share a few words?'

'Well, my name is Tyler and I come all the way from Arizona.' Tyler said, repeating the same words as the teacher did a few seconds earlier and went to sit next to Mark Eshleman. Josh didn't really know him, he just knew he loved photography and by the look he exchanged with this Tyler, they were obviously knowing each other.

 

The morning went really slowly and Josh was already regretting the holidays he just spent with his friends. He wasn't the smartest student in this class, he knew it just too well and he probably wasn't the most hard-working one either so he wasn't really complaining. He hated studying and he only really wanted to start a band and play music for the rest of his life, let's just say it wasn't the plan his parents had thought for him and he was still trying to convince them otherwise.

He finally came out of the classroom and joined his friends in the cafeteria who were talking about Jason's summer vacation he had spent on a yacht because his father was probably the richest man Josh knew.

 

'Hi Josh.' A girl said while, walking past him and sitting at a table not far away from the one he was sitting at.

'Again? Seriously man, what is your thing?' Brendon asked.

'Brendon, just face it, Josh is hotter than you.' Jason said and Josh let out a small laugh.

 

Josh had dated many girls and even some guys and he tended to break up with them after a month or two because he was usually getting bored easily and didn't see the point of carrying on a relationship with someone who was annoying you. He wasn't being very tactful when it came to break up with someone but again, as long as he wasn't the one suffering from it, he didn't really care about the other person.

 

'I could date anyone in this school Brendon.' Josh said, smiling. He was only saying that to bother his friend and didn't really believe it himself.

'Okay then let's make a bet.' Brendon said.

'A bet?' Josh repeated, confused. 'What would it be?' He asked.

'Let's pick someone and if you can date them for two months then you win. And you also have to use the worst pick-up lines, otherwise it's too easy' Jason said, and Josh would have said no but Brendon was looking defiantly at him and Josh was just a very competitive man and just loved to take on any challenges.

'What do I win? I won't date someone just to prove I can.' He said.

'What's the matter, Josh? You're having second thoughts?' Brendon asked.

'500 bucks.' Jason said, out of the blue.

'500 bucks?' Josh repeated, looking at him in the eyes.

'If you can date someone for two months, I'll give you 500 bucks. It won't make a difference for my dad anyway.'

'Deal?' Brendon asked and Josh looked up to him with a small smile on his face. He quickly glanced at Pete who was looking at him with a confused look, and Josh knew it was his way of warning him that it was probably the most stupid idea Jason had come up with.

'Deal.' Josh said, shaking Brendon and Jason's hands.

'It's not going to end well, I'm telling you.' Pete said, looking directly at Josh.

'Who cares when I can have 500 bucks at the end?' Josh said.

'And what about the other one, Josh?' Pete asked and he was looking at him with such a warning look that Josh almost felt uneasy.

'Well, I just break up with them, it's not that hard, really.' Josh said.

'And break their heart at the same time?' Pete asked.

'Well as long as it's not mine, I don't care.' Josh answered with a small laugh, Brendon and Jason following him soon after.

'I really don't like this.' He said.

'Well you're not the one having to date someone, Pete, relax.' Jason said. 'Okay, so let's pick someone!' He added.

 

Brendon and Jason looked up and swept the room and Josh was convinced that his two friends were trying to find someone who wouldn't agree to date him as soon as he was asking them out. They were probably looking for someone he didn't know that well, someone who would easily put himself against him. For a few minutes, everybody remained quiet and when a huge smile appeared on Brendon's face, Josh knew he had found someone.

 

'What about the new kid?' He said.

'Tyler?' Jason asked and seemed to think about it for a while before looking up to Josh. 'What do you think?'

'Fine with me.' Josh answered.

 

His eyes quickly fell on this weird kid and he looked at him more carefully for a few minutes. He was dressed in a black sweatshirt, black skinny jeans and red socks and seemed in a deep conversation with his friend Mark who was soon bursting into laughter, probably because of something Tyler had just said. This one quickly looked up and was soon watching him with a confused look on his face. They stared at each other for a few seconds and Tyler raised his eyebrows, his skepticism and annoyance clear, before looking back at his friend Mark.

 

'Oh my god, he's perfect.' Brendon said.

'He doesn't seem very easy-going, good luck with that Josh.' Jason added.

'And don't forget to use the worst pick-up lines you can think of.' Brendon said while laughing.

'I still don't think it's a good idea.' Pete announced for the third time.

 

But Josh ignored him and was already thinking of what he could say to win Tyler's heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! What do you think about the first chapter?  
> Thank you to my american fren (Can't remember how to tag someone, but you know who you are) for correcting the mistakes.  
> If you're reading my other stories, you know It's my third story with chapters so it might take a long time between chapters, sorry, I'll try to be as fast as I can be.


	2. Chapter 2

‘Tyler! These boxes won’t move by themselves!’

‘I’m coming!’

Tyler smiled and quickly got up of his bed to join his parents downstairs who were already picking up the boxes, along with his two brothers Zack and Jay and his sister Madison. His family and him had lived thirteen years in Columbus until they had to move to Phoenix because of his dad’s work. And Tyler had loved the life in Arizona but a part of him had always wanted to come back to Columbus. And here he was, in the city of his childhood and he couldn’t wait to start a new life in here. Plus, it wasn’t that scary because he was already accustomed with the city and knew he was in the same class as his long-time friend Mark for his last year in highschool. They had kept in touch after Tyler left Columbus and it felt good to have someone to turn to during his first few days in this new high-school. Sure, he missed his friends from Phoenix but for once, Tyler was feeling confident.

It hadn’t been as easy for his brothers and sister. These ones hadn’t stayed in touch with anyone and leaving Phoenix had been really hard for them, and really, Tyler could understand that. He smiled at his mother who was handing him two boxes that he carried into his room. _My own room_ , he thought. He had to share a room with his brother Zack for his whole life but this new house was much larger than the last one and they could finally have their own spaces. Tyler didn’t really mind the presence of his brother but it gave him a sense of freedom and he didn’t wait any second to start and settle. He quickly put his books and cds in the shelf next to his desk and hung his posters on the wall.

 

‘Can I come in?’ His brother Zack said while knocking.

‘Of course you can, bro.’ Tyler answered, opening his door to his little brother who quickly sat on his bed, sighing.

‘You’re feeling nervous about tomorrow?’ His brother was just two years younger than him and was about to start his sophomore year.

‘I’m okay.’ He said with a smile. ‘A little bit. But kind of excited too.’

‘Yeah, same here.’ Tyler said while taking his piano out of another box. ‘I can’t believe I’m saying that but I think I’m gonna miss sharing a room with you.’

‘Well, I sure won’t.’ Zack said, quickly getting out of his brother’s room to avoid the pillow Tyler was throwing at him. ‘I love you, tho!’ He said, loudly on the other side of the wall.

 

Tyler smiled at this and went on settling in his new room. He then laid down on his bed, staring at his ceiling and the fluorescent stars he had hanged on the wall. He remembered when he was a child and was terrified of darkness and the only way his parents had found to reassure him was to hang these stars on the ceiling. Tyler had gotten used to it and even if he didn’t really need them anymore, he liked it that way. He had always been very curious about space and stars and when his life was becoming too much to handle, it was a good way to escape reality for a few minutes.

He could hear his brother listening to music in the room just next to his and his sister talking on the phone, surely with one of her friends from Phoenix. Tyler hadn’t been really close to anyone during these past few years, he had made friends, of course, but he wasn’t planning on keeping in touch with them. It’s not that he didn’t believe in long distance friendships. He truly did. It had worked perfectly well with Mark. He just didn’t have it in himself right now.

 

‘Tyler, Mark is downstairs!’ His dad said from the kitchen.

 

A huge smile appeared on Tyler’s face and this one went down the stairs as quickly as he could, smiling even more when his friend ran towards him to hug him. It had been more than five years that he hadn’t seem him and Tyler couldn’t believe he was going to see him every day from now on.

 

‘Dude, I’m so happy to see you again!’

‘It feels like forever, I have so many things to tell you. Maybe you can stay for dinner?’ Tyler asked, hopeful, looking at his mom.

‘Of course he can, you’re always welcome, Mark.’ His mom said.

‘Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m in a hurry but I was in the neighborhood, so I wanted to say hi before going back home. My brother is waiting for me in the car.’ Mark said, and Tyler smiled. ‘You weren’t too sad of leaving Phoenix?’ He asked.

‘Not really. I mean, Arizona was cool but Columbus has always felt like home, you know?’

‘Yeah, this is where you belong, with your good ol’ friend Mark.’ Tyler let a small laugh at this, Mark had always been a goofy character and he liked that about him.

‘And how was your vacation?’

‘Fine, I’ve just been lazy most of the time.’ Mark answered, and quickly turned around when his brother honked from outside. ‘Sorry, our dad is waiting for us back home. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?’

‘See you!’ Tyler said, leading him to the door. He quickly waved at Mark’s brother in the car, who seemed to have changed a lot since he last saw him, and closed the door, joining his family at the table for dinner.

 

They were all exhausted and nobody was talking much, each of them wanting to go to bed and have a good night’s sleep to be in shape for the day after. They had spent two days on the road and didn’t really have time to rest and that’s why Tyler didn’t wait any longer to call it a night and to go back to his room. He took a few minutes to check if he had his timetable and every other things he needed for the day after and went to bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

Tyler opened his eyes a few hours later and by the sounds he could hear from the kitchen, the rest of his family was already awake and was having breakfast downstairs. Tyler usually didn’t eat much in the mornings because he had been used to be late but he knew his father didn’t like it when he was leaving without having eaten anything so this time, after getting out of the bathroom, he joined his family to have a proper breakfast.

He could already hear his brother Zack telling him to hurry if he didn’t want to be late for his first day, and even though they still had half an hour to get there, Tyler knew his brother wanted to have a few minutes to find his classroom in case he was getting lost in this new building. That’s why he quickly put his shoes on and took his bag, making his way to his car. They were both in the same high-school and Tyler was probably going to drive him back and forth every day because his brother still didn’t own a car.

In fifteen minutes, Tyler was already parking his car in the parking lot and by the time he took his bag, and locked his car, his brother was already inside the highscool, probably already looking for his classroom. And Tyler would have been the same if Mark wasn’t waiting for him in front of the main building with a huge smile on his face.

‘I can’t believe I’m gonna see you every day, this year’s gonna be awesome, mate.’ Mark said. ‘Come on, first period is that way, the teacher doesn’t like us to be late. He’s a real pain in the ass for this.’ He added and Tyler followed him in the corridors, this high-school was huge and Tyler was pretty sure he would get lost a few times during the first weeks.

By the time they got to the classroom, most of the students were already inside and Mark sat at the back of the room while Tyler was waiting for this teacher to look up to present himself, like the director asked him a few days before when he went to enroll in this new school.

 

‘Hi, I’m the new student, we told me to-’

‘Oh yeah, you’re Tyler right?’ He asked and Tyler only nodded. ‘'Listen up, kids! We have a new student coming all the way from Arizona. Tyler, would you want to share a few words?'

‘Well, my name is Tyler and I come all the way from Arizona.' He repeated, annoyed, before getting a seat next to Mark. He didn’t understand why teachers were always asking new kids to present themselves, it was pointless especially because most of the kids in this classroom didn’t care about him and to be honest, Tyler didn’t really care about them either. He already had Mark, and he could live with only one friend in here.

 

Tyler listened to the teacher for a few minutes but quickly drifted off when he realized he wasn’t planning to start the lesson anytime soon and was just presenting his discipline and what the program would be during this year.

 

‘This day is gonna be boring as fuck, I’m telling you.’ Mark said, and Tyler sighed, already thinking about his next vacation.

 

As Mark had told him, the next periods were as annoying as the first one and by the time Tyler stepped into this cafeteria and sat at the same table as Mark who was waiting for him for a few minutes, his stomach was already growling for a while.

 

‘How was your last period?’ Mark asked.

‘Fine. I had to present myself again. Remember the time I said I was part lesbian instead of Lebanese?’ Tyler asked and Mark only burst into laughter. ‘Well, I nearly did it again.’

 

Tyler looked up and swept the room until his eyes fell on a weird kid he recognized from his history class. This one was looking at him and gave him a small smile and Tyler only raised his eyebrows, annoyed and confused, wondering why he was acting like this.

 

‘Who is he? The guy with red hair and gauges?’ Tyler asked.

‘Oh, it’s Josh Dun. And next to him, it’s Brendon Urie and Jason Hayles. They’re complete assholes.’ Mark answered.

‘And the last one?’

‘Pete Wentz. He seems nicer than the others if you ask me, still wondering why he’s hanging out with them.’

 

Tyler quickly looked up to watch Josh for a few seconds and when he saw this one was still looking at him, he brought back his attention to Mark who seemed as puzzled as him.

‘Probably wants to scare you off because you’re new.’ Mark said.

They finished eating and Tyler didn’t wait any longer to get out of this cafeteria, he could still feel that the other student was still looking at him and while everyone was outside and enjoying the sun, Tyler went in the main building with Mark to drop off the things he didn’t need for the afternoon in his locker. He was about to close it when the same student caught his attention. He was walking towards him with a cocky smile on his face and Tyler raised his eyebrows one more time when this one stopped right next to him.

 

‘Hi?’ Tyler said while closing his locker.

‘I’m Josh... Hey, I was wondering… Do you believe in love at first sight?’

‘What?’ Tyler asked, confused.

‘Or should I walk past again?’ Josh added.

‘What?’ Tyler repeated.

 

Tyler remained silent for a few seconds and gave a confused look to Mark who had a small smile on his face, this one seemed amused by the situation. This Josh was still looking at him, smiling, and Tyler decided to play along.

 

‘You know what? Maybe you should walk past again.’ Tyler said and waited for Josh to take a few steps towards him to walk backwards in the other direction, so he could still face him.

‘Sorry mate, looks like I don’t!’ He said. ‘Nice try, though.’

 

He made his way to his next class alongside Mark and when Josh disappeared of his field of vision, he quickly turned to his friend who was still smiling.

 

‘Was he even serious? It was so lame.’ He said. It was probably the lamest pick-up lines that he could think of and he couldn’t believe that some people were willing to go out with such a douche.

‘Well at least, now you know why he was looking at you in the cafeteria. But just to warn you, Josh usually never gives up until he gets what he wants… In this case, you.’

‘Well, there’s a start at everything, Mark. Cause I sure won’t fall for him.’ He said.

 

Besides being a complete douchebag, Josh also happened to be a guy and even though Tyler had always thought he was bisexual, he was still scared of admitting that to other people, but mostly scared of admitting it to himself. He knew Mark suspected it, that’s why he wasn’t saying anything, but he was mostly scared of his parent’s reactions. They had always been very christian and even though Tyler had already talked to some Christians who were very open-minded and didn’t have any problem with homosexuality, he knew his mother wouldn’t be thrilled by the fact that his son was bisexual. His mother already made some comments about being confused by homosexuality and Tyler wished he would never fall in love with a guy so he would never have to say it to his mom.

He had the feeling that his sister and his father would be more accepting but it was even better if he never had to find out.

And just when he was about to forget this thought and to bury it in the very back of his mind, this Josh Dun was stepping into his classroom and taking a seat right next to him, these were long tables and so Tyler was finding himself between his best-friend and a guy he didn’t even know who was trying to hit on him with lame pick-up lines.

This day was going to be very long.

Tyler gave Mark a knowing look and when his friend realized Josh was seating right next to him, he couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh. Tyler only sighed and focused on his notebook, waiting for the teacher to arrive but he could still feel this student glancing at him from time to time.

 

‘Look dude, we never told you it was rude to stare?’ Tyler asked, looking up.

‘I’m sorry, it’s not my fault. I think something’s wrong with my eyes… Because I can’t take them off you.’ He said and Tyler could hear his friend Brendon laugh besides him.

‘Oh my god, it was the best pick-up line you could think of? That was so lame!’ Tyler said, looking at him with wide eyes. He still didn’t know if Josh was really being serious.

‘Well, is it working?’ Josh asked.

‘No, it doesn’t.’ Tyler said. ‘I don’t know if people usually fall for this little game you’re having right now, but with me, you’re gonna have to try harder than that, Josh.’ He added.

‘So you’re not against the idea of going out with me? I just have to try harder?’ Josh asked, smiling a little more than before.

‘I’ve never said that.’ Tyler said, but he couldn’t help but blush when he realized what he had just said was ambiguous. ‘Now turn around and listen to the teacher, you might want to learn something.’

 

Tyler looked back at Mark and he was relieved to see that Josh gave up for the rest of the class and was busy writing things down on his notebook or talking to his friend Brendon. And Tyler wasn’t going to lie, he was glancing at him from time to time and he had to admit that this guy was good looking but it wasn’t enough for him to just say yes and go out with him as most of the students would have done in his place. Tyler was too proud for that and if Josh really wanted to date him then he would have to earn it.

When the bell rang to announce the end of the day, Tyler got up and made his way to his car, silently waiting for his brother Zack to come out of this high-school, leaning against the driver’s door. He only looked up when he heard someone call up to him and sighed of resignation when none other than Josh Dun walked towards him.

 

‘Well Tyler, I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?’ He asked, smiling.

‘Yeah, I’m not looking forward to that.’ Tyler said to which Josh let out a small laugh before joining his friends who was staring at Tyler and making him uncomfortable at the same time.

‘Who was it?’ His brother asked, opening the door. ‘New friend?’

‘Nope.’ Tyler answered. ‘Just a douche.’ He added, silently getting into the car and driving to their house.

 

He couldn’t believe someone as boring as Josh Dun was already hitting on him the first day of school. Among all the students in this high-school, he was wondering why Josh Dun had chosen him. There sure were a lot more attractive people in this school that were more willing to go out with him.

 

‘How was it?’ Tyler asked to his brother, trying to focus on something else.

‘Boring. We didn’t do much. I talked to this girl called Ashley. She showed me around, which was nice.’

 

Tyler nodded and told him about his day, deliberately omitting that a red-haired guy had been hitting on him the whole day, and parked his car on the sidewalks, letting some space for his father’s car. This one was still at work and was usually coming back home just in time for dinner, that if he had the same schedule than in Phoenix.

When Tyler stepped into his house, his mother was out and so he quickly turned on his computer, only to see that Josh Dun had sent him a friend request on Facebook, which he refused, not without leaving him a small message.

‘ _Sorry not sorry.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it, don't hesitate to post comments to tell me what you think :)  
> Thanks for the kuddos, the inspiration came back quickly thanks to you!


	3. Chapter 3

‘So Josh, how is the Tyler thing going?’ Brendon asked.

 

They were in Brendon’s basement and Josh had taken a seat on his sofa, quietly listening to the music his friend had played for the past hour. It was Monday and Josh hadn’t really been thinking about Tyler until Brendon popped the question. He just wanted to spend some good time with his friends but by the looks Jason and Pete were giving him, they both wanted to hear the answer.

 

‘It’s not really going anywhere to be honest.’ Josh said.

 

It had been one week since Brendon and Jason had come up with this weird idea of a bet and these two seemed way more excited than Josh about this. Josh did find this whole bet exciting and pretty funny but he hadn’t really tried anything else since the few pick-up lines he had told the kid on their first day. To be honest, it seemed enough for Tyler to be bothered and Josh had thought it was probably a good call to back off for a while. He hadn’t given up, obviously cause Josh really wanted the 500 bucks Jason had promised him, but he had the whole thing planned out and he sure knew that the kid was eventually going to fall for him. That’s how attractive he was.

 

‘Don’t tell me you chickened out already, man?’ Jason asked.

‘Of course, I didn’t. I just backed off for a while, I don’t want to sound desperate. I’ll try again tomorrow.’ Josh said.

Of course, Josh was still smiling at him every time he was crossing his gaze in class or in the corridors, just to show him that he hadn’t forgotten about him. And he knew this Tyler guy wasn’t completely indifferent. He knew his plan would eventually work. He just had to be patient.

‘You thought about other lames pick-up lines?’ Brendon asked with a smile.

‘Trust me, he doesn’t know what this week has in store for him.’ Josh said, to which Jason and Brendon let out a small laugh.

 

Josh looked at Pete for a few seconds and he didn’t even have to ask him what was going on because he already perfectly knew what he was thinking of. He had already made it clear that he wasn’t supporting any of that and Josh didn’t know why his friend was being so dramatic. Because he clearly had the whole situation under control.

 

‘You really think he’s gonna fall for it, though?’ Pete asked and it seemed that he was trying to convince himself that the kid was too smart to fall for Josh’s little game. And Josh wasn’t going to argue. The kid was smart. And he didn’t make it easy for him. But Josh was only getting more excited.

‘I do. I’m sure he’s secretly enjoying it already. He loves the attention.’

‘What if he doesn’t?’ Pete asked.

‘Well, I’ll just try harder. But trust me, I’ll have him on his knees by the end of the week, just watch.’

‘I can’t believe I’m hanging out with such a bunch of assholes.’ Pete said when his three friends burst into laughter.

 

Josh lighted up a cigarette and inhaled the smoke for a few seconds before tilting his head back and opening his mouth to get these smoke rings out. Brendon’s mother didn’t really pay attention to what his son was doing and they were allowed to smoke pretty much everywhere in the house. Josh’s parents were much stricter with him and his brother and sisters and he was usually avoiding to smoke in front of them. Not that they didn’t know. They sure did. But Josh knew they didn’t really appreciate it so he tried his best to hide it from them.

His parents had never really liked Brendon and Jason, and they weren’t trying to be very discreet about it. They had already made it clear many times to Josh but this one didn’t care about their opinion. Pete was different. His parents had a real soft spot for him. They always had. Pete was more reasonable. Pete was kinder than them, he included, Josh knew that. And his reaction to the whole Tyler thing was just another occasion to witness it.

 

‘Poor kid, though.’ Jason said with a small smile on his face and Josh knew that he wasn’t trying to show any sympathy for him. ‘Can’t wait to see his face when he’ll realize it was all fake.’ He added, and Josh laughed for a few seconds.

‘Jason the whole point of the bet is that he doesn’t realize it was one.’ Josh said.

‘You’ll still have to break up with him, though.’ Pete answered.

‘Well, I’ll just invent some shitty excuse, it’s not hard to find, really.’

 

And they went on talking, laughing and trying to find the worst reasons that someone could find in order to break up with a person. Pete remained quiet and Josh knew he didn’t say anything anymore because he was clever enough to realize that it wouldn’t make a difference anyway. After a few minutes, this one quickly got up and said he had to go home, claiming his father needed him for something. Josh knew it was just a pretext to get out of his house, the discussion was only about this bet and this one was probably getting sick of it.

But it was already late and Josh followed him soon after, going back to his house by skate. When he reached the threshold of his house, he let his skate in the garage and opened the door rather brutally, enough to let his parents know he was home.

 

‘I’m home.’ He still said, smiling at his little brother who was laying down on the couch, watching one of these stupid shows on the television. This one waved at him but didn’t say anything, quickly bringing back all his attention to the show.

‘Where were you, sweetie?’ His mom asked from the kitchen.

‘At Brendon’s.’ He answered. ‘We just hanged around.’ He added.

 

His mother only nodded and smiled at him but Josh knew this one wasn’t pleased to hear that. His father got out of the bedroom and walked towards his son to hug him for a few seconds. This one had just came home from work. He got to travel a lot to meet his clients and Josh had always thought he was lucky. He remembered when he was a little kid, his father used to bring him back a flag’s magnet of the country he had just visited. It had become a kind of game between the two of them and Josh had about 30 magnets in his room, all magnetized on his radiator.

From this moment, Josh had always wanted to have a job with which he could travel throughout the whole world and really, being a drummer in a band seemed like the perfect plan. It would combine his love for music and his passion for travel. Now he just needed to convince his parents to let him try.

He listened to his father talking about the week he just spent in France. Of course, the main reason his dad was traveling was to meet his clients but he still got to visit beautiful places and Josh was always the first one to ask him about it and to watch the pictures he was taking in each country. He nodded when his dad told him that he had a day off the day after and laughed a bit when this one tried to imitate a french person talking English.

 

‘Don’t mock them, Bill, at least they’re learning another language. I’d want to see you try.’

 

Josh made his way upstairs and took his cellphone, quickly logging on Facebook. He wasn’t posting anything on this social media and was more a Twitter kind of guy but he was mostly using it to stalk people. After a few minutes of reflection, Josh realized that even though Tyler had refused his friend request, he still could talk to him. So he quickly typed his name on the search bar and sent him a small message.

 

‘ _Hi there, Tyler. In case you were wondering, I didn’t give up on you.’_

Josh didn’t expect Tyler to answer but when he saw the three dots appearing at the bottom of his screen, he just smiled and waited for the other student to answer.

‘ _Oh man, what a relief.’_

And Josh didn’t even have to ask him to know that the kid was being ironic.

‘ _Come on, we both know you missed this.’_

‘ _I’m sorry to break it to you but I didn’t.’_

‘ _Still don’t want to go out with me?’_ Josh typed and frowned when he saw Tyler’s answer.

‘ _Actually, I’d love to.’_

He waited a bit, knowing that it wasn’t the end of Tyler’s answer and as he suspected it, another message appeared soon enough.

‘ _But I need to spend more time with my blender.’_

Josh laughed at this and quickly took a screenshot of the conversation, sending it to Brendon and Jason with a small message: _‘This kid has some high level of sass.’_ , bringing back his attention to messenger.

‘ _Nice one, I have to admit.’_ He sent.

 

He waited a few minutes but when he saw that Tyler had not intention to answer, he turned off his phone and closed his eyes, letting the soft music he could hear from his brother’s room sending him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Josh was at the highscool library. Their history teacher had already asked them to write an essay and Josh had never been really good at this discipline and was looking for books that could help him write it. But Josh knew himself pretty well and he was certain that even if he was taking them home for a while, he would probably had to give them back to the library before finding the motivation to read the first page.

That’s why he sighed and put them back in place, making his way out of the library. He was about to open the doors and join his friends outside when a guy at the check-out desk caught his attention. Tyler was there, on his own, and he was queuing with two books in his hands. Josh smiled and turned around, and walked quietly towards him so this one wouldn’t notice him. He stopped right behind him and looked at him for a few seconds. Tyler was dressed in black jeans, black shirt and black doc-martens and Josh had to admit that the guy had some style and wasn’t completely bad-looking.

 

‘It’s handy that I have my library card because I’m totally checking you out.’

 

And he couldn’t really see Tyler that much because he was facing his back but he was almost certain he saw him looked down for a few seconds with a small smile on his face.

 

‘You’re back at it with the lame pick-up lines, huh?’ Tyler asked, turning around and looking up to him.

‘So what do we have in there?’ Josh asked, taking the books Tyler was holding.

 

He looked at them for a few seconds, reading the titles. _The Picture of Dorian Gray_ , Oscar Wilde. _Regeneration_ , Pat Barker. _Boring_ , he thought.

 

‘So you’re really going to read the both of them in two weeks?’ Josh asked, knowing that they usually had two weeks to return a book in the library.

‘Well, I could also use them to slap you in the face but I’m not sure your brain could process the pain.’ Tyler answered and Josh simply smiled, giving the books back to him.

‘You’re a book nerd, aren’t you?’ Josh asked, ignoring the harsh answer of the other student.

 

Tyler just shrugged and handed his library card to the librarian, waiting for him to scan the two books before getting out of the library. Josh followed him and walked besides him for a few minutes, smiling when he realized this one wasn’t saying anything to try and tell him to back off. It was probably because the kid knew it was pointless to protest and so Josh just chose to go on with these pick-up lines.

 

‘Hey did you buy your pants on sale? Because at my house they would be 100% off.’ Josh said.

‘Oh my god, you couldn’t be more lame!’ Tyler said

‘Come on Tyler, you’re loving it. I saw you smiled back at the library’ Josh added.

‘I did not.’ Tyler answered and Josh smiled when this one looked away for a few seconds.

‘You did. And now you’re blushing.’

‘I do not! Just stop looking at me.’ Tyler said.

 

Tyler looked down for a few seconds without doing anything and suddenly turned around to start walking towards the main building.

 

‘You know you’re pretty cute when you’re blushing!’ Josh said, loudly, so Tyler could hear him.

‘You know you’re pretty clever when you’re not talking!’ Tyler said without stopping.

 

Josh smiled a second time, he knew perfectly well that Tyler was eventually going to say yes, it was just a question of time, but Josh didn’t mind waiting for a while. After all, it was funny to see the kid try to convince himself that he wasn’t interested. Because he absolutely was. He was just in denial.

Josh didn’t have much time to think about it though because it was already time for him to go to his last class. Computing class. Josh hated it. He had always thought this class was completely pointless because he already knew most of the things the teacher was trying to teach them. He had always been good at computing and really, learning how to use Word wasn’t that complicated. So Josh was usually spending the entire time talking with Brendon because he was the only one he was sharing the period with.

Josh tried to make his way among all these people in the corridor and caught side of Tyler for a few seconds. This one was taking his sports bag out of his locker and by the time Josh reached his classroom, this one was already gone. Josh had heard that Tyler was part of the high-school’s basket ball team and according to what a guy from his English class had said, this one was pretty good and had even received a basketball scholarship for the year after.

 

‘Okay, I’m already bored.’ Josh said while taking a seat next to Brendon.

‘Dude, the class hadn’t even started.’

‘It must be pretty fucking boring, then.’ Josh added and Brendon let out a small laugh.

‘I saw you talked to Tyler?’ Brendon asked and Josh smiled at this question because the bet was pretty much the only thing that his friend could talk about recently. Not that he minded. He was very excited himself to show him that he was hot enough to date anyone in this school, but mostly to get the 500 bucks.

‘Yeah, and he’s totally into me, if that’s what you wanted to know.’

‘So he agreed to go out with you?’ His friend asked.

‘Not yet.’ Josh answered.

‘Are you even sure the guy is gay?’

‘Well, I know he likes me.’ Josh said.

 

Josh looked up when the teacher opened the door and tried to focus during a few minutes but quickly stared into space when this one announced that this hour would be mostly theoretical and everything was already written on this power-point that Josh could download from the highschool website. There was therefore no need to listen. And Josh knew the teacher was probably aware that the majority of the people in this class were thinking about something else.

When he stepped out of this classroom, he quickly walked towards his locker to take the stuff he needed for the day after and didn’t wait for Brendon to walk away. He had to pick up his little sister every day after school and this one was usually free from 3pm and had to join her classmates in study period until he was coming to get her. She didn’t really mind, though, Josh knew it, because their parents didn’t want her to go home on her own but also because she got to do all her homework and was therefore free to do whatever she wanted for the rest of the day.

Josh started the car and drove to the elementary school. It was only a five minutes drive from his high-school and as soon as he parked his car in the usual drop-off zone, his sister was already running towards the car with a big smile on her face. Josh smiled back at her and bent down to open the door for her, waiting for his sister to seat and to fasten his belt to start driving again.

 

‘How was school, kiddo?’ Josh asked.

‘Fine! We had to describe a family member in English and I described you.’

‘And what did you say about your favorite brother?’ Josh asked with a small smile on his face.

‘You’re not my favorite brother.’ She said. ‘Jordan is.’ She retorted, smiling.

‘You’re so mean!’ Josh answered in a dramatic way, which made her sister laugh.

‘I’m kidding! I said you were funny, that you had red hair and holes in your ears and that you wanted to become a drummer.’

‘That’s a pretty good description.’ Josh said, laughing.

 

When they stepped into the house, their brother Jordan and sister Ashley were already home and Josh let his little sister watch tv while he was helping Ashley to cook something for dinner. Their father was away for the week and their mother was always coming back late on Tuesday and so they had always been used to cook for the rest on the family every Tuesdays of the week.

Once the dinner ready, he let himself fall on the couch next to her little sister and took his cellphone when he heard it vibrate into his jean’s pocket, only to find out that his friend Pete had sent him a text.

 

‘ _You do know that Tyler is not the only one who could get hurt by this stupid bet, right?’_

‘ _What do you mean?’_

‘ _Never mind. Just be careful, okay?’_

‘ _Calm down, Pete, it’s just a bet. I’ll see you tomorrow.’_

 

Josh put his phone on the coffee table in front of him and focused on the cartoon his sister was watching, quickly forgetting about Pete’s text.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so here is chapter 3! I'm kinda disappointed about this one. I won't be able to post the next one until the end of next week, maybe even later, i'm sorry for that.  
> For those reading my other fics, I didn't give up on them, I'm just very excited about this one at the moment, but I promise I will update them, I just don't know when. 
> 
> Tell me what you think :)


	4. Chapter 4

‘Alright team! Enough for today, I’ll see you next week.’

Tyler sighed of relief and walked towards the locker room with the rest of his team. He was completely shattered and he couldn’t wait to go home and snuggle into his cushions. To be completely honest, Tyler was tired of playing basket-ball and he had the weird feeling that he was only continuing this sport mostly to make his dad happy and also because he had received a scholarship for the year after. Of course it was a wonderful opportunity and Tyler would be dumb to refuse it but this sport wasn’t a source of energy anymore like it used to be before. He wanted to talk to his parents about it but he knew that these ones probably wouldn’t be very pleased to hear that but he couldn’t hide himself forever. He wanted to be a musician. He wanted to play in a band and become famous and travel the whole world thanks to his music. It was maybe a little bit naive to think that he could actually succeed in this sector but it was his biggest dream and he wasn’t ready to give up on it yet.

He made his way inside the locker room and took a quick shower with his new teammates who didn’t seem very welcoming and open-minded but Tyler was trying to let this thought in the back of his mind. He couldn’t judge people after two hours of practice and he decided to give them a second chance.

‘Hey so from what I’ve heard, the new history teacher is a fag!’ One of his teammates said.

‘No way! That’s fucking disgusting.’ Another one answered.

 _No, they’re definitely assholes._ Tyler thought.

He couldn’t believe his team was just a bunch of homophobic bastards and for a short moment, he really wanted to speak out but quickly decided against it when he realized this would mean getting bullied for the rest of the year.

Instead, Tyler dressed as fast as he could and joined his car to go back home where his smiling father was waiting for him in the living room. He knew this one was pretty excited to hear about his first practice and as soon as Tyler put his coat on the sofa, his father was already asking him about it.

‘How was practice?’ He asked.

‘T’was okay.’ Tyler mumbled while starting to climb the stairs.

‘You don’t seem very excited!’

‘I said it was _okay_ , dad.’ Tyler repeated.

He closed the door of his room and let himself fall on his bed, ignoring his dad’s answer. A few seconds after, he could hear the quiet footsteps of his father and this one was soon gently knocking at his door and waiting for his son to let him in.

‘It’s open, dad.’ He said.

His father made his way inside his room and sat next to him on his bed, looking at him for a few seconds with a small smile on his face.

‘You’re okay?’ His dad asked.

‘I’m fine. My teammates are just a bunch of assholes and...’

‘And?’

‘I don’t know dad, I’m just not feeling like playing basket-ball anymore.’ He said.

‘How’s that?’

To Tyler’s surprise, his dad didn’t seem very mad at him. He had expected him to yell at him and to tell him that he couldn’t give up on a life’s chance like this one. But this one was remaining very calm and quiet, probably waiting for him to elaborate.

‘Look dad, I know I’m lucky, okay? I know that. And two years ago, I would have dreamed to have a scholarship and to become a professional player but it’s just not the way I feel anymore. I used to love playing basket-ball, but now I just… I’m just doing it because I feel like I have to.’

His father was still very quiet and he seemed to think and process what his son had just said. Tyler didn’t blame him, he knew it could come as quite a shock because even though he was feeling like this for quite a while now, he kept pretending that he loved playing basket-ball and it was the first time he was actually opening up to his father about it.

‘I don’t know If I’m gonna accept this scholarship.’ Tyler added. ‘I know it’s what you want from me but right now, it’s not what I want. I’m sorry.’

‘Okay.’ His father only said after a few seconds.

‘Okay?’

‘Okay. If you really don’t want to do it, then don’t.’

‘You’re not mad?’ Tyler asked, confused.

‘Listen Tyler, you’re a big boy now. You can make your own life’s decisions. I’m not going to tell you I’m very happy about all of this. I’m not. I’m disappointed. But you seem to be quite determined. So I trust you on this.’ His dad said.

Tyler looked at him for a while, saying nothing. He had always thought that his dad would be furious and would try anything to convince him that he was making a huge mistake but he wasn’t doing any of that. And Tyler felt very bad to have thought that his dad wouldn’t even try to put himself in his shoes while this one had been way more understanding and sympathetic that he had imagined.

‘Thanks dad.’ Tyler said, letting his father hug him.

‘What do you want to do then?’ He asked.

‘I don’t really know. I’d like to focus on music, I guess.’

‘You know it’s not always easy, right? You could end up being very disillusioned?’

‘I know.’

‘Okay.’ His dad simply answered.

‘I’m still gonna stay in the basket-ball team for this year, though.’

‘That’s good.’ His father said while standing up. ‘Dinner is ready.’ He added, smiling.

‘Coming!’ Tyler said.

‘We invited Mark’s family over by the way!’ Her mother informed him when Tyler went down the stairs, following his dad.

Tyler nodded and smiled, high-school had started for two weeks now and he was glad to be able to still call Mark his best-friend. They had kept in touch during all these years in Phoenix but talking on the phone or via Skype was not the same as talking face to face and Tyler was afraid that they wouldn’t get along as well as they did when they were young but now Tyler felt stupid to have been apprehensive of such a thing because they still understood each other as much as they did. Tyler’s parents had always been good friends of Mark’s parents and it wasn’t rare for them to invite the other couple to eat at one’s place. And now they were taking up on their old habits again and it’s like they had never left Columbus in the first place.

After more or less fifteen minutes, both families were gathered around the table and Mark had taken a seat next to Tyler. Their parents were busy talking of their respective jobs and his brothers and his sister were talking about school with him and Mark. Tyler was glad because his two brothers as well as his sister seemed to be already fully integrated into their new classes.

‘Wanna play Mario Kart?’ Tyler asked to Mark after eating dessert.

‘You know I do!’ Mark answered, rushing to the sofa.

‘Let’s see If I can still beat your ass after all these years. I think I can.’ Tyler said.

And as he had imagined, Tyler beat Mark on every rounds and this one was starting to get impatient and it was not helping him to get better at this video game. Luckily, Mark wasn’t a poor looser like Tyler was and he was only laughing at every single time Tyler was claiming to be the ‘King of Mario Kart’. After that, they sat in silence for a few minutes until Mark talked about photography and how he wanted to become an official photographer some day.

‘You totally could, man, your pictures are amazing!’

‘I could be your band’s official photographer!’ Mark said, and Tyler smiled widely at him.

‘You totally could!’ He answered. ‘Still to find other musicians first. Especially a drummer.’

‘Josh is a good drummer. He’s in my music class.’

‘Really? He doesn’t seem like the music kind of guy.’ Tyler said.

‘Well, he’s very gifted. By the way, did he stop with the pick-up lines?’ Mark asked.

‘Trust me, I don’t think he’ll stop.’

‘You know you should tell him if he’s really getting on your nerves.’

‘I don’t know.’ Tyler said. ‘It’s pretty funny.’ He added with a small smile.

‘Oh my god, you actually like the guy!’ Mark said, loudly.

‘Shut up, I don’t.’ Tyler answered, blushing.

‘You totally do!’ Mark repeated.

Tyler remained quiet for a few moments. He really wanted to tell Mark he was so far from falling for Josh’s little game but he wasn’t sure he believed it himself. Don’t get him wrong, Tyler knew this Josh could only be a complete douche but he was somehow managing to make him laugh. Of course, he didn’t want to give up just yet because that would mean proving him right and Tyler was too proud to accept to go out with him.

And the man was beautiful. He was truly beautiful. Tyler just couldn’t deny that.

‘Maybe I do. But just a little.’

 

* * *

 

Tyler was in Science class. It was his last class of the day. He had never really liked science but he was sure hating it now when Josh came in the class and decided to take a seat next to him. It had become a kind of ritual between the two. Josh would seat next to him and Tyler would ignore him until this one was hitting on him with the worst pick-up lines he could think of. And Tyler would pretend to be annoyed. This day wasn’t any different. Tyler looked away as soon as this red-hair boy sat on his chair and just like every time, Josh got nearer to him and brought his mouth closer to Tyler’s ear.

‘Hey, you must be tired cause you’ve been running through my mind all day!’

‘You know.’ Tyler started. ‘You’re the living proof that man can live without a brain.’ He added.

‘You still like me, though.’

‘Still don’t.’ Tyler simply said.

Josh was about to say something else but then, the teacher was opening the door and was sitting down to her desk. The class was as boring as it always way and so Tyler was trying to focus on anything except what the teacher was saying. He watched through the window and looked at the several people walking on the streets. Some of them seemed to be in a hurry because they were walking as fast as they could without actually running. Some of them, and Tyler could see himself in them, were walking very slowly, looking very tired with their headphones on.

He quickly focused on the class again when the teacher announced that for the week after, they had to answer some questions about the causes and the effects of  global warming and that this exercise had to be done by groups of two.

‘Just partner with the person next to you, it’s easier that way.’ The teacher said and Tyler grumbled while Josh was smiling widely at him.

‘You better be kidding me.’ Tyler said, sighing. ‘Excuse me sir! Can I partner with somebody else?’ He asked, raising his arm.

‘And why is that, Joseph?’

‘Well because he’s a complete douche.’ He said, and a few people in the class laughed at his comment. Not as many as Tyler had liked but he knew most of them were only remaining silent because they were afraid of what Josh could do to them if this one was ever seeing them laugh at him.

‘Listen kid, I didn’t become a teacher to deal with student’s drama, so suck it up and get to work.’

Josh smiled at the teacher’s comment and Tyler only sighed, taking the sheet of paper that the teacher was handing him.

‘Well, you must be the reason for global warming because you’re hot.’ Josh said.

‘Actually it’s primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.’

‘You’re such a nerd.’ Josh said.

‘Well I guess you’ll have to deal with this.’

Tyler looked at the different questions and was relieved to see that these ones weren’t very complicated and that he knew the answers to most of them. It meant that he didn’t have to spend so much time with Josh on this.

‘It shouldn’t take you that long.’ The teacher said and didn’t have time to add anything else that most of the students were already out of the class when the bell rang, announcing the end of the day.

Tyler gathered his books and put them in his bad, quickly making his way outside the classroom. He made his way among all these people and reached his locker, dropping the stuff he didn’t need for the day after before closing it. He was about to join his brother in the parking lot when he heard someone calling him and when he turned around, he could see Josh running towards him, smiling.

‘How about I give you my number so we can try and find a moment to meet up for the group project?’

And really, Tyler wasn’t dumb. He knew Josh was only using this science project as a pretext to ask for his number and he wasn’t going to fall for it.

‘I’m not as stupid as you’d like me to be, man.’ Tyler said. ‘You won’t have my number.’

‘We still have to meet to do this project thing, though.’

‘Fine. We can meet at my place. Tomorrow after school, if that’s okay with you?’

‘Perfect! It’s a date.’ Josh answered with the same cocky smile.

‘Dude? A science project date? Really? How charming.’ Tyler said.

‘Well, what can I say? I’m content with very little.’ Josh said and then he was running towards the main exit of the high-school.

Tyler let out a small laugh at this comment and joined his brother inside the car, driving them both back to their place. Once they got inside, his father was not home from work yet and his mother seemed to be busy with some tests she had to correct. She had found a job as a Mathematics teacher in a high-school located at fifteen minutes to the one Tyler was studying at, and she seemed very happy about it. This one had always loved Math and didn’t succeed in sharing her love with an of her kids.

‘How was school?’ His mother asked.

‘Fine. Hey, there's this guy coming over tomorrow after school to work, is this okay?

‘Of course it is, honey. Who is he?'

‘It's just a guy called Josh. I don’t really know him.’ And Tyler wasn’t completely lying. He truly didn’t know him that well.

Tyler sat on the sofa next to her sister who was watching some show he didn’t know on her computer. He tried to understand the plot for a few minutes but it all seemed very complicated and impossible to get if you hadn’t watched the series from the very beginning. He quickly gave up and opened the kitchen’s closets to find some biscuits to eat before joining his room and texting Mark about the science class.

‘ _You’ll never know what happened in my science class.’_

‘ _Let me guess: it had something to do with your new crush? Am I right?’_

‘ _First of all, he’s not my crush.’_

‘ _Sure thing. What happened?’_

‘ _I have to do this science project with him. We're meeting up at my place tomorrow after school. He’s gonna be annoying af I’m not mentally ready for this.’_

‘ _Poor you. It’s not that bad, though, considering you’re totally into him.’_

‘ _Come on, could you at least be a little more supportive here?’_

‘ _Maybe don’t propose to him just yet’_

‘ _I hate you.’_

‘ _You don’t._

_He didn’t._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took longer than usual, I had tons of uni homework to do! Hope you like it :)
> 
> Btw just realized I wrote 'university' many times instead of 'highschool' on the last chapters. So I corrected it but just to be clear, they're in highschool, not in uni. Sorry about that.


	5. Chapter 5

‘Yeah, hi mom, I forgot to ask you if you could maybe pick up Abi today? I have to meet a guy for a science assignment.’ Josh asked.

He was sitting on this chair next to Brendon for his first class. This one looked up at him and he was about to tell him something when he saw that his friend was on the phone, and so he just smiled at him and waved his hand instead.

‘I can’t but your dad is coming back early so I’ll ask him to do it. At what time do you think you’ll get back home?’ His mom asked.

‘I don’t know, I guess I’ll be there for dinner.’ Josh answered.

‘Okay, honey. Are you doing this assignment with Brendon or Jason?’

And really, Josh wasn’t stupid. He perfectly knew that his mother wanted the answer to be no. It was just another way for her to make him understand that he shouldn’t be spending so much time with the both of them. But Josh had learned that arguing about his friends with his parents was no longer useful. Each of them will stand their ground every single time and so Josh was just ignoring their comments most of the time. And this time wasn’t any different.

‘No, they’re not in my science class. I’m with this guy called Tyler? He’s a new kid. He’s coming from Arizona.’

‘Oh, he must be Zack’s brother then!’

‘Huh?’

‘Ashley’s friend. You don’t remember? He came over during one afternoon. Ashley told us he came from Phoenix.’ His mother added.

‘Oh, right. Yeah, well, must be his brother then, I don’t really know the guy to be honest.’

His mother was about to ask him more questions but Josh could already see his teacher entering the building and so he quickly hanged up before the beginning of the class. As much as he hated his history teacher, he was getting tired of his mom’s questions and it was also the reason why he decided to call her just before getting to his first period so he wouldn’t have to stay on the phone for too long. He loved his parents, he really did. But his mother was always asking him so many questions about his day when he was coming back home and was annoyed when his son wouldn’t tell her anything. And it’s not that Josh didn’t want her to know what was going on in this high-school, it’s just that nothing exciting ever happened in here and he had honestly no idea of what he was supposed to say.

He really wanted this year to be over. Though he didn’t want to start a year in university either because he was getting sick of the educational system, and he also didn’t want to ruin his parents or to get a loan from the bank in order to pay off his university studies. He didn’t even know what he wanted to study and so he thought that it wasn’t worth it to pay for something he wasn’t even going to enjoy. He was pretty sure he could convince his parents to drop the idea and to let him focus on music and try to join a band, as long as he had a secure job concurrently.

‘Josh, maybe you should listen to what I’m saying for a change. We both know you don’t want to see me again next year.’ The teacher snapped.

‘Right.’ Josh simply said and looked down at the text the teacher was reading.

 

 

‘Guys! Wanna come over at my place after class?’ Brendon asked.

They were heading to the cafeteria and Josh only nodded and was about to say yes when he remembered he actually had to meet Tyler at his car so they could go to his place together. He looked up at his friends and smiled broadly at them, knowing they’ll be pleased to hear the news, especially Brendon and Jason.

‘Well, actually, I can’t, Bren. I’m meeting Tyler after class.’

‘No fucking way?’ Jason exclaimed.

‘You’re going on a date?’ Brendon asked, excited.

‘No. Just at his place to work on the science assignment. But give me three days and we’ll be ‘officially’ dating.’

‘I won’t be so sure If I were you.’ Brendon said. ‘I mean, the kid seems pretty stubborn.’

‘He’s faking it, Bren.’ Josh answered. ‘Just wait and see’.

‘Well You should totally try and make a move tonight.’ Jason added once they were all seated around the table.

He swept the room for a few minutes until his eyes fell on Tyler who was already looking at him. Josh gave him his most charming smile and couldn’t help but to feel satisfied when this one blushed and quickly looked away, letting one of his hands going through his hair.

‘He was totally checking you out!’ Jason said.

‘And now he’s completely embarrassed!’ Brendon added.

They both laughed at the same time, still looking at Tyler and Josh guessed that his friend Mark had heard them because he was now looking at him with such a suspicious and distrustful look that it nearly scared him. Still, he decided not to show any sign of uneasiness and looked away to strike up a new conversation with his friends, thinking it was for the best to talk about something else before attracting too much attention.

‘So Pete, how is everyone doing in your family?’ Josh asked, genuinely interested.

‘They’re good. We’re all going to Canada for Christmas. Some of our cousins live there, we’re going to join them for a week. We’re pretty excited. You’re doing anything during the break?’ Pete asked to Josh.

‘I don’t think so. I think we’ll stay there. We’re always spending Christmas with my grandma so I guess she’ll be there too.’

They went on talking about the Christmas break, Brendon was spending the week with his family too but Jason was going on a trip to Europe with his family. When he had first talked to Jason, Josh had been surprised to see how much money this one had, he even used to be jealous but now he didn’t really pay attention anymore. This one had always been a bit pretentious but Josh had learned to appreciate him despite his flaws.

They only had a one hour lunch break and so the four of them were quickly back in class. Josh didn’t share any periods with Tyler this afternoon If he remembered correctly. He wasn’t sure though, but he didn’t really care anyway; after all, he still had the whole evening to try and get Tyler to like him. Josh was pretty sure the kid secretly already did. It was only a matter of time.

At 4pm, Josh was going down the stairs and making his way towards the parking area, scanning the cars until his eyes fell on Tyler’s brother who was patiently waiting, leaning against his brother’s car. Josh remembered his face from the last time he saw him at his house. This one was looking at his phone and seemed to text someone until he noticed Josh.

‘Hey man.’ Zack simply said.

‘Hey, how are you doing?’ To be honest, Josh didn’t really know him since he had spent most of the time in his room when this one was working with his sister on an oral presentation. He just figured out that he probably had more chance to date Tyler for two months and win this bet if he was being nice to his family.

‘How come you two know each other?’ Tyler asked from the driver’s seat.

‘He’s Ashley’s brother.’ Zack answered while taking a seat in the car.

‘You’re coming or you want to stay there and look like a complete moron for a little while longer?’ Tyler asked Josh once the two brothers were in the car.

Josh sighed and opened the passenger’s door to take a seat next to Tyler who didn’t wait any longer to start the car and drive. He was awfully quiet and was just glancing at Josh from time to time, suspiciously. Josh could feel that Tyler still didn’t trust him, and it made sense, really, since each time they had actually talked to each other, it was only Josh saying these lame pick-up lines and Tyler snapping back at him.

‘So...’ Zack said, surely to try and strike up a conversation. ‘You two are friends or something?’ He added.

‘Yes.’

‘No.’ They both answered at the same time.

‘No, we’re not.’ Tyler repeated a few seconds later.

‘Okaay.’ Zack said, looking weirdly at his brother.

‘And so Josh is here because…?’ He asked a few minutes later.

‘We just need to do a science assignment. No big deal. Josh shouldn’t stay that long, right _mate_?’ Tyler asked, ironically.

By the time Josh was about to answer, Tyler had already parked his car next to his mother’s and Josh was pretty sure this one wasn’t waiting for an actual answer anyway. It was just a way to tell him that as soon as the science assignment was done, he wanted him out of his house. Josh followed the two brothers in the living-room and quickly caught sight of a woman in her mid-forties in the kitchen who looked up at them and smiled broadly at him.

‘Hello there, you must be Josh.’ She said.

‘I am. It’s really nice to meet you, Mrs Joseph.’ He answered, giving her his best smile. ‘Thank you for having me, it’s really kind of you.’

Josh couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh when Tyler gave him an annoyed look, rolling his eyes a few seconds later.

‘It’s really no trouble, you’re welcome anytime.’ She answered with the same broad smile.

‘Right!’ Tyler said, clearly showing his annoyance. ‘We should start working on this assignment, don’t you think?’

‘Don’t be so rude, Tyler? You could at least offer him a drink and a snack.’

‘Yeah Tyler, don’t be so rude!’ Josh repeated in a low voice so only Tyler could hear him, joining him around the table.

‘I’m really sorry, where are my manners?’ Tyler said, putting abruptly the bottle of orange juice on the table, right in front of Josh. ‘Please, help yourself, _friend_ ’

‘So, how did you two meet?’ Her mother asked, and Tyler almost choked himself to death when the orange juice he was drinking went down the wrong way.

‘He…’ Tyler started talking but stopped when he realized he had no idea of what he was supposed to say.

‘I showed him around the high-school a few weeks ago. He seemed lost.’ Josh said, smiling, only because he knew Tyler would be even more annoyed than he already was.

‘Oh aren’t you so kind?’ Tyler’s mother said.

‘Yeah. The kindest.’ Tyler answered with an ironic smile. ‘But it’s getting late, didn’t you tell me you have to get back home before 7? We should go upstairs and start working, right?’

With that, he stood up and climbed the stairs, ignoring the voice of his mother who was asking him how his day had been. Josh smiled at her and followed Tyler in his bedroom. It was a small room and the several posters hanged on the wall immediately caught Josh’s attention. There were two posters of Death Cab For Cutie and one of Green Day. Tyler had also hanged a picture of the movie Donnie Darko next to his desk. Josh didn’t really know Tyler that well but he had to admit that this one had good tastes when it came to music. He was about to say something about it but Tyler was already speaking with a loud voice.

‘You’re unbelievable!’

‘I know.’ Josh answered with a charming smile.

‘Oh my god, I’m so tired of your bullshit. Let’s get it over with.’ He said.

Josh watched Tyler as he was taking a seat on this chair in front of his desk and turning on his computer before going through his bag to take the sheet of paper that their teacher had handed out the day before. Josh did the same and scanned the questions only to find out that he had no idea what most of the answers were. Luckily, Tyler seemed way smarter than him and he was counting on him to do most of the work.

‘Okay, so what are the main reasons for global warming? And please don’t answer with this lame pick-up line, okay?’

‘It’s primarily because of too much carbon dioxide in the atmosphere.’ Josh answered with a broad smile, remembering Tyler’s retort.

‘Good to know that you’re at least listening to what I’m saying.’ Tyler said.

‘Give a definition of Preservationism.’ Josh said, reading the next question.

‘Well I guess it’s when you try and protect some areas from human’s actions or something.’ Tyler answered, and Josh simply nodded while he had really no idea oh what was the actual answer. They looked for a better definition on the internet and Josh wasn’t surprised to see that Tyler was right about that once more.

They went on working on the science assignment and as Josh had suspected earlier, Tyler was the one answering most of the questions, Josh was simply writing down what he was saying. After a few minutes of silence, Josh looked up only to see that the other student was staring at him and when he finally caught his eyes, Tyler quickly looked down, blushing.

‘Tyler, can you come downstairs for a few minutes, honey?’ His mother exclaimed.

‘Right. My mother… I… I’ll be back soon.’ Tyler said, trying his best to avoid any eye contact with Josh.

Josh watched him leaving his room and stayed motionless for a few seconds before something caught his attention. There was a small opened journal on Tyler’s bed and even though Josh was seating at the other side of the room, he could still recognize Tyler’s handwriting. He hesitated for a while but when he noticed his name written on the bottom of the page, he quickly made his way towards the bed, taking the journal in his hands. It was definitely Tyler’s handwriting and from what he was reading, this was some kind of private journal and the small text he had written was dating from the day before. Tyler was telling about his day and when Josh finally read the part about him, he couldn’t help but to smile triumphantly. The kid definitely liked him.

‘ _Hi friend. I think I’m falling for a guy. To be honest, I’m kind of scared. Terrified, even. I’ve always suspected I was bisexual but I was secretly hoping that I would never fall for a guy. It makes everything more complicated, now. I’m scared of letting people know. People from this high-school. From what Mark told me, they don’t seem very open-minded, especially the basket-ball team, they’re just a bunch of idiots. I’m scared to tell my family too, I bet my mom won’t be thrilled to find out that his son is bisexual. I guess I’ll tell them when I’m ready, they don’t have to find out right now. Anyway, his name is Josh? And he’s a complete douche. He keeps using these lame pick-up lines, it’s honestly pathetic. But he still manages to make me laugh, I don’t even know how. And he’s beautiful. And I’m sure he’s kind, deep down. I guess it’s just an attitude he likes to give himself. He’s still a douche, though. A likable douche, maybe.’_

Josh looked at the journal for a while, wondering whether he should take a picture of the text in order to show it to Brendon and Jason. It was very personal, that’s why Josh was having second thoughts about it. But after a few seconds, he still decided to do it and sent the picture to his two friends with a small caption.

‘ _I told you, he’s totally into me. Jason, I think you should already withdraw the money, man.’_

He was about to send another text but he could already hear Tyler climbing the stairs and so he quickly put the journal back on the bed and sat on his chair, smiling at the other student when this one came back in his room and from the annoyed look Josh could see, the other student had probably had a lively discussion with his mother.

‘Right. Last question. Has the US government always supported efforts to protect nature?’

‘Well, I know Trump doesn’t.’

‘Yeah well he thinks that climate change is a joke so maybe it’s not the best person to trust for this kind of things.’

‘Hi, climate change is a joke and so is my mandate.’ Josh said, trying to mimic the voice of the President and to his surprise, Tyler burst out laughing.

‘Okay, this was funny, I’ll give you that.’ Tyler said, smiling.

‘Thanks, I guess. Reagan didn’t support any of this either, I think.’

‘Yeah, he didn’t. He thought that environmental regulations were too expensive. But I think Roosevelt did. Theodore Roosevelt, I think people actually used to call him the ‘conservationist president’’

‘I didn’t know that.’

‘Well, now you do.’ Tyler said.

They looked for additional pieces of information on the internet and they were soon done with the assignment. Tyler had written down the answers on a blank sheet of paper and he quickly added Josh’s name before putting it back in his bag. They both stayed silent for a few minutes and even though Tyler was about to say something, Josh cut him short.

‘Never thought you would be a Death Cab fan.’ Josh said, pointing out the few posters.

‘Oh, yeah I do.’ Tyler said. ‘You like them too?’ He added after a few seconds of hesitation.

‘I love them! I think Transatlanticism might be my favorite album.’

‘Same!’ Tyler exclaimed with a broad smile. It quickly disappeared, though, as if Tyler realized he was still supposed to hate the guy in front of him. ‘It doesn’t make you any less of a douche, though.’

‘Sure.’ Josh answered, still smiling because now he knew that Tyler was only pretending to be completely indifferent to his so called ‘charm’ and let’s be honest, it made the whole thing even more amusing for Josh.

‘Well, I should go.’ Josh informed him.

‘You should.’ Tyler repeated.

They both went down the stairs and Josh put on his coat and shoes before looking up at Tyler’s mother who smiled warmly at him.

‘You’re already done? That was quick.’ She said.

‘Yeah, it wasn’t that complicated.’ Tyler answered.

‘Well, Josh, you can come back whenever you want, okay?’

‘Thank you, Mrs Joseph.’

Josh made his way towards the front door and was surprised to see that Tyler was following him outside. He took a step forward and stayed immobile for a few seconds, waiting for the other student to say something.

‘Do you need a ride home?’ Tyler eventually offered.

‘No, don’t worry, it’s only a ten minutes walk. Unless you’re not ready to say goodbye yet.’ Josh answered with a cocky smile.

‘Right. I was ready as soon as you stepped into this house, mate.’

‘So I supposed you still don’t want to go out with me someday?’

‘Sorry buddy, still don’t.’ Tyler answered but Josh could hear the hesitation in his voice.

‘Too bad for you.’ He said, before moving away. ‘Hey do you have a map?’ He asked, right before Tyler closed the door.

‘Huh, yeah, one second, let me ask my-’

‘Cause I’m getting lost in your eyes.’

‘Oh my god, okay!’ Tyler exclaimed.

‘Okay?’

‘I’ll go out with you. But you only have one hour. If I’m still bored after this date or however you want to call it, you have to promise me that you’ll leave me alone. Deal?’

‘Deal.’ Josh answered with a large smile. ‘Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah? I’ll text you the details later during the week.’

‘Yeah, whatever.’ Tyler said, going back to his house before closing the door.

And with that, Josh made his way back home, smiling. He was so going to win this bet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to post this chapter, still busy with uni!  
> I really hope you liked the chapter, I'm kind of self-conscious about this one, I'm not completely satisfied!   
> I've been studying the environmental history of the US with the efforts to protect nature for like two weeks now, never though I would actually use that for this fic! Anyway, hope you liked it!  
> Comments/Kudos are welcome (welcomed?) :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been more than a month, I'm so sorry.

Tyler was leaning against the door of his room, trying to calm his breathing. He didn’t really know why he had just said yes to this red-haired boy. Because let’s face it, he was probably one of the most annoying guy he had ever met in his entire life. He knew that it was probably just an act, that Josh was probably a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for. But still, this guy was a real pain in the ass and Tyler just thought that going out with him for one hour was maybe the only way to make him stop. It wasn’t the only reason he had accepted to go on a date with him, though. He was secretly glad to have a chance to get to know him better but of course, he was planning to keep this piece of information for himself.

He just didn’t know if he was ready to officially go out with a guy. He was scared. He knew perfectly well that he had nothing to be ashamed of. But the thought of coming out to all those people in the school, his family, the thought of coming out to the whole world was terrifying. And he wished he wasn’t feeling like that. He knew that the society in which he lived in was a lot more accepting than before, than a few centuries ago, or even than a few years ago, but he also knew that there was still so much work to do, that it could still be so much more accepting. If some people were still afraid to come out of the closet and to truly assume themselves, then it only meant that it could be better, that they weren’t quite there yet.

And he wasn’t ready. Not yet. He was just scared and curious to see where this whole thing with Josh would lead. But he didn’t have to think about that just yet. Maybe he wasn’t even serious about the date. Maybe he wasn’t even going to text him the details like he had just told him. Maybe Tyler was only getting worked up for nothing.

He sighed and took a seat to his bed, looking at his private journal for a while before laying down on his mattress and staring at the ceiling. He didn’t hear his brother opening the door of his room and it’s only when this one sat on his chair that he realized that he wasn’t alone in his room anymore.

‘What’s up Zack?’ He asked.

‘So? What’s the deal with this Josh?’

‘What’s the deal with him?’

‘I don’t know, it just seems like you really hate the guy? What has he done to you?’

‘Nothing. He’s just… You know… The typical popular joke. He’s just a braggart, really.’

‘Really? I mean, I didn’t really talk to him that much, but he doesn’t seem that bad when I’m at their place.’ Zack said, confused.

‘Well… You know what high school can be like… I guess that people always feel the need to be somebody else in here.’

Tyler had always thought that it was weird, how people could act just to get people to like them. Every person he was seeing in these corridors, they weren’t being genuine. They weren’t being truly themselves. It was just an act. And he wasn’t going to judge them. He himself acted different. Maybe not as much as some people, but a part of himself still did. It was just a human reaction, after all. That was just how the school system was like. It didn’t encourage true and authentic relationships. It didn’t encourage benevolence and indulgence, quite the opposite. All these people… They just wanted to fit in. To feel like they did belong. To be a part of whatever this was. He did too. In the end, he wasn’t better than the rest of them. He had tried to be better. He had tried many times, but the system didn’t let you be yourself. That’s just the way it was. And so eventually, he just went with the crowd.

‘Yeah… I guess you’re right.’ His brother said, after a while. ‘Don’t you think that’s fucked up, though?’ And Tyler smiled at that. It wasn’t the first time that Zack was able to guess what he was thinking, as if he was able to read his mind or something.

‘What do you mean?’ He still asked.

‘Don’t you think that’s fucked up? That we’re just pretending? That we have this urge need to be accepted?’

‘I don’t think that’s a bad thing. To want to feel accepted. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s just… It’s normal. Nobody wants to feel rejected. It’s just… How we’re doing it that is wrong. But I guess… I guess people just don’t really care anymore. I guess the society just has become too individualistic.’

‘How come we’re always ending up having such deep conversations?’

‘I don’t know!’ Tyler answered, letting out a small laugh. ‘Alright, get out of my room, I’m tired.’

Most of the time, he acted like he didn’t care, but Tyler felt truly lucky to have such a close relationship with his family, especially with his brother. It was making his life so much easier. He had always felt supported, and understood. And it felt good, to know that some people would always have your back, no matter what.

After a few minutes, he could already hear his mom calling him from downstairs to let him know that dinner was ready. He didn’t wait any second to go down the stairs because he knew how much his mom hated when someone was being late for dinner. When he arrived in the living-room, his father was finally home from work and was sitting on the couch, watching tv. Although, Tyler didn’t think this one was being very attentive because he was reading a book at the same time.

‘So, this Josh seems like a really nice guy!’ His mom said with a smile on his face.

Tyler only nodded without adding anything because he knew that his mom was probably already fond of him at that point, and there was nothing he could say to change her mind. Zack still had a small smile on his face, as if he was amused by the situation, but remained silent. Tyler knew that he was probably making fun of their mom who had always been overexcited whenever they decided to bring a friend home.

‘Who is Josh?’ His father asked out of the blue, after a few minutes, and Tyler let out a small laugh once again. Whenever his father was reading, he could zone out for a very long time without being aware of his surroundings.

‘Tyler’s friend. He came over this afternoon to work on a science assignment. He was very charming!’

‘Yeah well, it’s not like you’re going to see him very often, mom. We’re not even friends, I told you. Just… Acquaintances.’

‘That’s a shame’ His mom said.

‘Such a shame.’ Tyler repeated, ironically, before rolling his eyes.

He knew that Josh would have loved to hear this and he was suddenly very glad that his mom hadn’t invited him for dinner. Because she could have, and Tyler didn’t know if he would have been able to stand him any longer. As much as he actually liked him, the guy could still get on his nerves very quickly.

‘He’s Ashley’s brother.’ His mom added, smiling. ‘This Dun’s family seem like lovely people, we could invite them for dinner, sometimes, what do you think?’

‘Yeah, maybe don’t get ahead of yourself, mom.’ Tyler said.

Since they had just moved in in Columbus, his mom really wanted to fit in and to make some new friends, but he wasn’t ready to support Josh any more than he needed to. Seeing him in high school was enough for now. There sure were other great families in this city and his mom still had old acquaintances from when they were still living in Columbus.

‘What was your science assignment about?’ His father asked to change the topic of the conversation.

‘Climate change.’

‘It seems interesting.’

Tyler nodded and was about to say more but he could feel his phone vibrate in his jean’s pocket. He quickly took it in his hand and sighed when his eyes fell on the screen. Josh had just sent him a message through Facebook and Tyler wasn’t sure he was ready to read it.

_‘Hi charming, at what time do you finish classes tomorrow?’_

_‘First of all, don’t call me charming. And at 4, why?’_

_‘Okay, then, meet me at my locker. I’m really looking forward to this date’_

_‘Good thing to know that one of us is excited.’_

Tyler wasn’t going to lie. He was surprised. He thought that Josh would have at least waited the end of the week to send him a text with the details. It was all so sudden, and Tyler felt a bit taken aback. He bit his lower lip and tried to ignore the small ball of anxiety and excitement rising in his chest.

_‘And remember, you only have one hour.’_

_‘Oh trust me, one hour is enough.’_

_‘Sure. Whatever you say, Josh Dun.’_

‘Mom?’ Tyler asked, still looking down at his cellphone. ‘I’m gonna chill at Mark’s house tomorrow after class, is that okay?’

‘Yes, as long as you come home for dinner.’

Of course, Tyler could have said that he would be hanging out with Josh, but he didn’t want his mom to get more excited than she already was, and he knew that his brother would have been suspicious, and he was afraid that he would end up finding the truth. The risks were low, he knew that, but he still preferred to be prudent.

He finished eating silently, listening his father talking about his new job. This one seemed very excited about it and Tyler was glad to see that. Even though his dad hadn’t been very clear back in Phoenix, he knew that he hadn’t been feeling well, professionally, and it was making him happy to see that his dad seemed to be a lot more radiant, now.

Tyler eventually went back to his room and got ready to bed. He was feeling tired about the day he had just spent, and he wanted to be in good shape for the day after. He had his eyes closed and even though he had thought that his mind would keep wandering, he felt strangely at peace with himself. He eventually fell asleep, with the shutters of his room still opened.

 

 

When Tyler woke up the next day, he found himself stuck in front of his wardrobe, wondering what he was supposed to wear. He hadn’t thought about that part when he went to bed last night. He knew that Josh was the one to ask him out, but a part of himself still wanted to make a good impression. He had felt strangely at peace last night and he was now getting very nervous about spending one hour with Josh. He really didn’t know what to expect and maybe it was the worst part. Tyler was someone who liked planning things in advance and had always wanted to be the one in control. But now he was facing this wardrobe, he realized that he had no clue.

He still decided to go for a white long-sleeves tee shirt, black jean, and red socks. It wasn’t an outfit he kept for special occasions, but he was feeling comfortable and maybe it was the most important. He went down the stairs and realized that he had taken too much time to choose what to wear and was now almost late for class. He had to take the bus this morning. He could have taken his car, but he just supposed that Josh would take him home after the date.  He didn’t like taking the bus because it meant waiting in the cold for ten minutes, they always seemed to be late. 

He still got to the high school five minutes earlier than the beginning of his classes and sighed of relief when he saw Mark waiting for him in front of the main entrance. That’s where they were always waiting each other in the mornings but Tyler had never felt so relieved to see his face. He also didn’t share his first period with Josh and it meant that he had one hour to get mentally prepared to deal with the red-haired boy. One hour was enough to talk to Mark about what had happened the day before. And Tyler really needed his opinion on this matter.

‘What’s up, man?’ Mark asked with a smile.

‘Hey Mark.’

‘So? How was it, yesterday? Was he cool?’

‘Well, even though he acted like a complete brown noser with my mom, I guess it went fine.’

‘Why am I not surprised?’

‘Trust me, you would have slapped him in the face if you were there.’

‘Can’t say I wouldn’t have.’ Mark said. ‘And apart from that, did he finally stop bothering you?’

‘Yeah about that…I may have agreed to go on a date with him?’ Tyler said, almost scared of his friend’s reaction.

‘You what?’ Mark answered, loudly. ‘I mean, I can’t say I’m surprised because you’re totally into the man, but-‘

‘I’m not into him.’ Tyler said, cutting him short.

‘Yeah, whatever. Just be careful with him, okay? Please?’

‘What do you mean?’ Tyler asked, confused.

‘I don’t know man, I just have a bad feeling. He doesn’t seem genuine. And his friends are complete assholes, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was messing with you.’

‘I really don’t think he is, Mark. And it’s not like we’re getting somewhere. I told him that if I was still annoyed after this date, he had to leave me alone. I think he got it.’

‘Okay.’ Mark said after a while. ‘Good.’

Tyler could tell by the look on his face that his friend was still suspicious, but he decided to let it go and they both made their way to the classroom. After all, he had nothing to worry about for now. And despite Mark’s warning, Tyler was convinced that Josh was being genuine. Maybe he could be a little bit insensitive and clumsy from time to time, but Tyler knew better.

When the bell rang, they had already taken seats in the classroom and were patiently waiting for their teacher. This one arrived a few minutes later and Tyler took his notebook out of his bag and tried to focus on what he was saying.

‘Where is he taking you, anyway?’ Mark asked after a while.

‘I don’t know. He just asked me to meet him at his locker.’

‘Oh, it’s a surprise, then. Romantic.’ He added with a small smile on his face.

‘Right. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing with him.’

The day went more slowly than what Tyler had expected. He shared the second period with Josh and this one couldn’t stop glancing at him and giving him cocky smiles every now and then. Tyler only raised his eyebrows with skepticism, but it only seemed to encourage him. He then remained silent and motionless for the rest of the class, deciding to ignore him and he couldn’t help but feel a little proud when this one eventually gave up, seeing that he couldn’t get any reaction from him. And maybe that’s what Tyler should have done from the beginning of the year. To ignore him. Instead of brushing him off with sassy replies. But let’s face it, Tyler was way too good at that and he didn’t plan of stopping any time soon.

After eating with Mark in the cafeteria, Tyler made his way towards his locker to take his sports bag. He had a two hours basket-ball practice during the afternoon and he couldn’t say he was looking forward to that part of the day. His teammates were still a bunch of jerks and as hard as he tried to fit in, he just couldn’t pretend to like them for any longer than two hours. It was tiring. He still went through it and tried to ignore them as best as he could.

When he went out of the locker room, it was already five past four and as much as he didn’t want this date to happen, he still hated being late and rushed into the main building to make his way towards Josh’s locker. This one still wasn’t here, though, and Tyler couldn’t help but feel nervous. Maybe he hadn’t even planned to show up. He let one of his hands going through his hair still wet from the shower he had just taken and bit his lower lip, looking down at the ground.

‘So sorry!’ He heard after a while. He looked up and saw none other than Josh running towards him with a small smile on his face.

‘You have 50 minutes.’ Tyler only said.

‘What? That’s not fair, dude, you told me one hour.’

‘Well you said you'll be there at 4.’ Tyler answered. ‘Is it 4?’ He added.

‘You’re a pain in the ass, you know that, right?’ Josh said, leaving some of his stuff in his locker.

‘You’re a fine one to talk!’ Tyler snapped back at him.

Tyler wasn’t going to lie, he secretly enjoyed telling Josh where to get off and by the smile on his face, it seemed that the red-haired boy was also amused by the situation. Tyler leaned against the lockers and waited for Josh to close his before following him in the corridors. This one was oddly silent, and Tyler didn’t know if he was waiting for him to say something or if he was just thinking about the next pick-up line he could use.

‘Where are we going?’ Tyler asked after a few minutes. He usually didn’t hate being quiet for a while, but this silence was awkward and uncomfortable, and Tyler only wanted to strike up a conversation to kill time and keep himself busy until it was time to go home.

‘You’ll see.’ Josh answered, opening the door for him. ‘So, Tyler?’ he added while they were both waiting to cross the road. ‘Aside from being sexy, what do you do in your free time?’

‘Okay, you just lost 10 minutes.’

‘What?’

‘You’re saying one of these lame pick-up lines again and I’m leaving.’ Tyler warned Josh, before glancing at his watch. ‘You should hurry. Only 40 minutes left.’

‘Okay then change of plans.’ Josh said before leading him to the nearest Starbucks.

‘Starbucks?’ Tyler asked. ‘How typical.’

‘Well, you don’t let me much of a choice, do you?’ Josh snapped back, amused. ‘Now get your ass in here and let’s get these 40 minutes started, shall we?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you guys wait so long. I was busy with uni, then with the fam for Christmas! Hope you liked the chapter :)


	7. Chapter 7

‘So?’ Tyler asked. He seemed bored, already.

‘So?’ Josh repeated, not sure what Tyler meant.

‘I don’t know, man. This was your idea.’ Tyler answered, looking at him. ‘What do you want to talk about?’

‘Anything.’ Josh said.

Josh would be lying if he would say that he was perfectly at ease. He wasn’t. He was just pretending, but he was used to it, by now. It’s what he was the best at. Pretending to be confident in front of everyone in this school. And he was confident. But maybe not as much as he’d like. But now wasn’t the right moment to think about that. He had to focus on Tyler. Only Tyler. He had to try and change his mind about him, if he wanted to have the 500 dollars that Jason promised him. And he only had 40 minutes to do that.

‘We can talk about music, if you want. You like music, don’t you?’ Josh asked, with a smile. His most charming smile.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler said, lowering his head for a few seconds before looking up at him again. ‘Music is… Yeah. I like music.’

Josh smiled at the smaller boy. This one seemed to be deep in thoughts, almost scared. His eyes kept moving, as if he didn’t know where to look at. One second, he was looking at the cup of coffee he was holding between his hands and the second after, he was looking at the street. Josh said nothing, though. He knew that he better had to stop his lame pick-up lines if he wanted to have a chance to win the bet.

And he just didn’t feel like bothering the other student.

‘Do you play any instruments, then?’

Tyler looked up at him once again, frowning for a few seconds. Josh could clearly see the uncertainty and the distrust in his eyes, as if he was afraid to talk about himself to someone like Josh. He surely was, Josh thought. After all, many students were scared to talk to him in this high-school, he wouldn’t be the first. But Tyler was different. Tyler was the type of guy who wouldn’t let people walk over him, that’s why Josh was surprised to see him acting that way.

‘I do. I play the piano. And the ukulele, sometimes.’ He said, unsure.

‘I play the drums. We should start a band.’

‘Yeah. Right. As If I wanted to spend extra-time with you.’ Tyler answered, and Josh smiled a little more at that.

Sassy Tyler was back, he liked that.

‘Do you sing?’

‘Yeah. I write songs too, sometimes.’

‘No way, that’s sick, dude!’ Josh said, excited.

He hadn’t mean to sound so enthusiastic, but he couldn’t help himself when it came to music. He was a real passionate and he sure could talk about drums, about songs, and his favorite bands for hours without getting bored. Tyler was getting more and more interesting and Josh surprised himself to want to spend more time than forty minutes with him.

‘What kind of songs do you write? What kind of genre it is?’

‘Hum… I don’t really know. I guess you could call it rap. But it doesn’t feel quite right. I just… I just have a lot to say'

Josh glanced at his watch for a second. 10 minutes had passed, meaning he only had thirty minutes left to convince Tyler to give him a chance. It wasn’t a lot, but Josh was convinced he could make this work.

‘What’s your favorite band?’ He asked. Tyler seemed to be passionate about music too, so Josh figured out that it was safe to continue in that direction. 

‘That’s a tough question.’ Tyler said with a small smile. ‘Maybe Imagine Dragons. Although, I really love Death Cab too. What’s yours?’

‘Death Cab, for sure.’

‘They’re pretty sick.’

‘They totally are, man.’ Josh said, with a huge smile on his face.

Tyler was smiling too and as he took a sip of his hot chocolate, Josh couldn’t help his eyes from lingering on the student’s face. He had been so obsessed by this bet that he never actually took the time to really look at him. And he was truly beautiful.

‘What?’ Tyler asked, after a while. ‘Do I have something on my face?’

‘No. You’re just very cute.’ Josh said, with a small smile.

‘Right. Be careful of what you’re saying. You could lose ten minutes. Again.’ Tyler answered, still blushing at the remark.

‘Come on, that’s not fair. I was only stating the truth.’

The blush on Tyler’s cheeks was even more visible now, and this one lowered his head for a few seconds, and Josh could see him biting his lower lip. This made him smile.

‘So, I’ve heard you were a pretty good basket-ball player, is that true?’ Josh asked, genuinely interested.

‘I guess I am.’ Tyler answered with a shrug.

‘You got a basket-ball scholarship, right? That’s great!’

‘Yeah. It is. But I think I’ll turn it down’

‘Really? Why?’

‘I don’t know, I’m good at basket-ball but I don’t really like it anymore. I’d like to focus on music.’

‘I get you. I’d like to do the same. I don’t know if my parents will be thrilled, though.’

‘You should give it a try, though. If it’s really what you want to do. You should talk to them about it.’

‘Yeah. I guess you’re right.’ Josh said, smiling, and so was Tyler.

And at this very moment, Josh realized he had misjudged Tyler. Since he had talked to him the first time, he was convinced that he was a nerd, a mama’s boy who only cares about bringing good grades to his parents and being the perfect son. But he was wrong. Tyler was so much more interesting. They even were very similar, and Josh only wanted to get to know him better, to know more about his dreams, his aspirations and his worst fears.

And there was this tiny voice in the back of his head, this tiny voice telling him that he may had done a mistake by accepting this stupid bet. But it was too late, now, and Josh just decided to forget about that part for a while and just focus on this date, focus on the minutes he still had with the student.

Tyler was still drinking his hot chocolate and he had placed one of his hands on the table. Josh looked at him for a second, and slowly moved his own hand until the tip of his fingers were touching Tyler’s. This one almost jumped with surprise and looked at their hands for a few seconds before quickly retracting his hand and placing it on his thigh.

‘So, do you have… Do you have any brothers and sisters?’

‘I do.’ Josh answered, knowing it was better to ignore what had just happened for now. ‘I have two sisters. One brother.’

Tyler nodded and glanced at his watch, while letting one of his hands going through his hair. He seemed nervous, anxious, and Josh felt like he could learn so many things about him, just by looking at the way he was acting, the way his hands would move to his hair, the way he would bit his lower lip whenever Josh was making him uncomfortable. He was acting so different from what Josh was used to, and he truly believed that he was starting to discover the real Tyler, not just the surface, not just his shell.

‘You like it in here? Columbus?’ Josh asked.

‘I do. Before moving to Phoenix, we lived here for thirteen years so I’m not very disoriented, you know. And Columbus has always felt more like home.’

‘Why did you move back here?’

‘Because of my dad’s work. You’ve always lived here?’

‘Yeah. And I didn’t travel that much either, so Columbus is pretty much all I know.’

They talked some more about their childhood and their respective family and Josh learnt that Tyler liked spending his time reading and playing video-games with his little brother Zack. They were very close, from what he was saying. And Josh smiled at that because it made him think about his relationship with his sister. He learnt that Tyler liked too many series and that he didn’t believe in aliens, and then the rest of the conversation was him trying to convince him otherwise. Cause this was a deal breaker, and he was sure he could change Tyler’s mind. He had to.

‘You’re pretty obsessed with aliens, aren’t you?’ This one asked with a mocking smile.

‘I’m not. They just exist. Maybe they’re already here, who knows?’ Josh said, and Tyler let out a small laugh.

Josh glanced at his watch once again and a huge smile appeared on his face when he realized that they had been in this Starbucks for over one hour and a half.

‘Forty minutes, huh?’ Josh said with a cocky smile.

‘Yeah, well… Turns out you’re not that big of a douche.’ Tyler said. ‘I should go, though. It’s getting late. Can you maybe drive me back home?’

‘Sure thing.’

They made their way outside the Starbucks and walked towards his car. Tyler was more at ease, but Josh could feel that he was still being a little bit suspicious, and as much as he liked the guy, the bet was still there.

They stayed silent for the whole drive and it’s only when Josh parked his car at a few meters away from Tyler’s house that this one spoke.

‘Alright. Well, thanks for… Whatever this was.’ He said.

‘It wasn’t that bad, right?’ Josh asked, placing one of his hand on Tyler’s shoulder, the tip of his fingers grazing the bare skin of his neck. He was looking at his lips, wondering if it was too soon to make a move.

Tyler was quiet, and Josh took the silence as an invitation to go for it but as he was about to lean in, the other student lowered his head once again, before placing one of his hands on the handle of the passenger’s door.

‘I… I should go.’

‘Tyler, wait!’

But this one was already out of the car, making his way towards his house, without looking back. Josh waited for him to close the front door to start his car and drive away from the neighborhood.

 

He was back at his place in no more than fifteen minutes and he quickly made his way towards his room, without even taking the time to say hi to his parents or explaining where he had been. He knew that his dad would probably go to his room to ask him about his day anyway. He laid down on his bed and looked up to the posters of space and the x-files hanged on the walls of his room. Looking at space, and stars, had always been a good way for him to calm down and rest. This time wasn’t any different.

After a few minutes, his phone started ringing and Josh glanced at the screen, only to see that Jason was calling him. They didn’t call each other often and so Josh frowned but still decided to pick up.

‘Hi, what’s up, man?’ Josh said, getting up of his bed. It was one of his habits, to get up and walk through the house whenever somebody was calling him. He couldn’t just stay in place, he didn’t really know why.

‘How was the date?’ Of course, Josh thought. Of course, Jason would call him to know all about his fake date with Tyler.

‘It went fine, I guess. He totally likes me, if that’s what you want to hear.’ Josh said.

‘Good! Did you make any moves?’

‘Nop.’ Josh answered. ‘He doesn’t seem to be ready and… He’s still getting used to the idea of being attracted to another guy. I mean, it’s new to him, you know… I just… I just don’t want to rush into things.’ Josh said and bit his lower lip the second after, too aware of the fact that he shouldn’t be involved in this relationship, that he shouldn’t pay too much attention to him, but he couldn’t help it.

It was too late. He cared. He actually cared about the other boy.

‘Josh?’ Jason said after a while. ‘You’re still doing it for the money, right? Don’t tell me you fell for this fucking weirdo!’

And Josh was mad. Jason shouldn’t be saying this kind of things without actually getting to know the other student. He was mad, and wanted to snap back at him, but figured out that his friend wouldn’t understand even if he tried.

‘Of course, I’m only doing it for the money, man! Just saying that it might take longer than I expected. But trust me, this one will fall for me just like everyone else, so you better get your money ready.’

Just as he finished his sentence, Josh’s eyes fell on Tyler’s brother, Zack, and his heart skipped a beat when this one frowned at him for a few seconds, and by the way he was looking at him, Josh was sure that he had heard what he had just said. But he hadn’t even pronounced his brother’s name and hadn’t even made it clear that he was talking about a guy and so he just sighed of relief and went back to his room as quickly as possible, closing the door.

‘Fuck, that was a close one.’ Josh said, still on the phone.

‘What happened?’

‘Tyler’s brother is in my fucking house, mate. He’s friend with Ashley. But it’s all good. He didn’t hear anything.’

Josh sure didn’t want him to find out that he was talking about his brother because he was pretty sure that he wouldn’t be thrilled. Yeah. That was an understatement.

Josh talked some more with Jason but hanged up after a few minutes, placing his phone in his jean’s pocket before going down the stairs and joining his dad in the living-room. This one looked away from the television and smiled at him.

‘Where have you been?’

‘I was out, at Brendon’s place.’

His dad nodded, without adding anything and Josh let himself fall on the couch, watching the news without really paying attention to what was being said because he was pretty sure that it was either about politics or money. He couldn’t think of anything else but the look of Tyler’s face when this one got out of his car. He had almost seemed scared, and anxious and Josh hated to admit it but he really wanted to know what was going on inside his head.

He quickly took his cellphone and decided to send him a message via Facebook, because even after this afternoon, he still hadn’t his number and hadn’t thought about asking him.

_‘I had fun this afternoon. I just wanted to be sure you were doing okay.’_

This message was good. He wasn’t saying too much and wasn’t being too insistent. He was just being nice. He decided to send it.

He waited for Tyler’s answer but this one didn’t seem to want to answer. He put his phone away when he joined his parents as well as his brother and his sisters to eat and when he came back to his room later in the evening, he still had no new messages.

And so, he changed into his pajamas and turned off his phone. This could wait tomorrow. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading a book by Matt Haig and I suddenly felt the need to post this chapter. This book made me realize that I shouldn't be ashamed of my writing. I like writing. So that's what I'm going to do.   
> If you like my writing, then I'm super happy about it, if you don't, then it's okay too.   
> Please tell me what you think, either way :)
> 
> Updates will be even more spaced out than usual, tho, just to warn you. Don't expect another chapter anytime soon.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I be studying for my exams instead of posting this? Yes.

Tyler was leaning against the front door of his house, trying really hard to ignore his heart beating unusually fast against his chest, and the weird sensation he could feel in his stomach. He was trying to stay _calm_. He needed to stay calm. But right now, he couldn’t. He was panicking. He couldn’t possibly have fallen for the other boy already. It wasn’t right. It didn’t feel right. And his mom couldn’t know about it. Ever. He himself was having a hard time to accept the fact that he was attracted to another boy, and he couldn’t start imagining what it would be like for his mom. He knew that she wasn’t the kind of person who could disown her own son just because of his sexual orientation but he also knew that if she could avoid having a son like this, she would. He knew his mom would start questioning herself, that she would blame herself for how her son has turned. She would think she didn’t do a good job raising him.

Speaking of her mom, she was getting out of the kitchen where she had probably started to cook dinner and instantly smiled at her son when her eyes landed on him.

‘I didn’t hear you coming in.’ She said, still smiling. ‘How was it? She asked.

‘What?’

‘How was it? With Mark? Did you two have a good time?’

‘Oh… Yeah.’ Tyler said, still lost in his thoughts. ‘Yeah, we did.’

‘What did you do?’ Her mom asked, and Tyler only really wanted to cut short the conversation and go to his room to let himself fall onto the mattress. But his mom had always had this annoying habit of asking him and his brothers and sister a thousand questions, constantly trying to know how their days had been, and Tyler knew he better had to answer all the questions rather than trying to ignore them. He had already tried that once. It didn’t work. Her mom would only be more annoying about it. She was just worried about him, though, and Tyler couldn’t blame her.

‘Nothing much, you know… We just played Mario Kart, and watched a movie.’

‘You’re sure you’re doing okay, sweetie?’

‘Yeah, I’m just… I’m tired. I’m gonna rest in my room. Call me when dinner is ready.’ Tyler answered, ignoring the concerned look of his mom.

He climbed the stairs and entered his room, letting his whole body fall onto the mattress. He placed his arms under his pillow and buried his face against it. He could hear his phone vibrating against the pocket of his jean, but he was pretty sure it was Mark who wanted to know everything about this ‘date’ and he wasn’t ready to face all of his questions just yet. He was still processing everything he had felt during these two hours. At first, he really had thought that it would be boring but then Josh had started to ask interesting questions, but most importantly, he had started to talk about himself, he had started to open up to Tyler and this one had been forced to admit that Josh didn’t seem as bad as he seemed. Of course, Tyler had already suspected it, that it was just an armor, just an appearance, but he had secretly hoped the opposite, in order to be officially done with him once the date over.

But now, he was lying on his bed, sighing and he secretly wanted to see the red-haired boy another time.

Tyler had never dated anyone. He could have, back in Phoenix. A girl called Jenna was fond of him and everybody around him was pushing him to date her, but he wasn’t interested. She was nice, don’t get mistaken, but Tyler was only seeing her as a friend, and he couldn’t see the point of dating her just to seem cool. It didn’t make any sense to him.

He was wondering why of all people in this high-school, he had to fall for a guy. Surely, it was some sort of conspiracy. Maybe it was best for him to ignore Josh for a while, making him understand that he still wasn’t interested and praying for the other student to get the message and let him go.

‘Tyler!’ His brother said while opening the door of his room.

‘Nobody taught you to knock?’ Tyler asked, feeling mentally exhausted.

‘Sorry, bro.’ Zack said, leaning against the door frame. ‘I was at Josh’s place.’

‘And?’ How does that concern me?’ Tyler said, annoyed.

‘It doesn’t. But I don’t know. It was weird, he was talking to a friend of his on the phone, talking about a bet or someth-’

‘Yeah, you know what, Zack, I don’t want to talk about him. Can you please, leave me alone?’ Tyler asked, barely listening to what his brother had just told him.

‘Okay, someone’s in a bad mood. I’ll leave you to… Whatever you were doing.’ Zack answered, closing the door.

Tyler sat on his bed, his back leaning against the wall, one of his hands going through his hair, as every time he was feeling nervous about something. He took his cell phone and as he had suspected it, one message from Mark was waiting to be read, one from Josh too. He sighed and decided to read the first one.

_‘How was your ‘date’?’_ Mark had sent him.

_‘It was okay, I guess.’_

Tyler hesitated for a second before pressing the send button. And his friend must have been waiting for an answer because another message appeared on the screen of his phone, just a second after.

_‘You care to elaborate?’_

_‘Mark, I’m screwed.’_

Tyler waited for a minute, unable to decide whether he should send his friend another message to give him some details or just wait for the day after to talk to him face to face about it. Surely, the second option was more judicious, but Tyler didn’t have time to think about it more than his cell phone was already ringing, warning him that none other than Mark was calling him.

‘What’s up?’ Tyler said, trying to seem casual.

‘You should be the one answering that question. How did it go?’ Mark asked, and for once, he seemed genuinely interested, and was not trying to make Tyler feel bad about his so called ‘crush’. ‘Not well?’

‘Well, that’s the issue here… It went well. Better than what I had expected.’

‘And it’s an issue because…?’

‘I don’t know man, you were the one who told me you had a bad feeling about it!’

‘Yeah well… Did he seem genuine?’ His friend asked.

‘I don’t know… Yeah. Yes, I think so. We really clicked, Mark, we stayed in this cafe for two hours but… I…’

‘But it’s a guy, right? That’s what bothers you, isn’t it?’

Tyler stayed silent for a while, saying nothing. Mark had always been discerning, for as long as he could remember. Even when they were so much younger. Tyler didn’t know if it was a natural gift that his friend had with everybody or if it was just because they were good friends. The fact remains that he had always been able to understand the things going on inside Tyler’s head, without him having to say anything. It was quite annoying, now he thought about it, but he had learned to live with it.

‘Listen Mark, I know it’s stupid, okay? I know I shouldn’t be ashamed of something like this, but… I’m just… I’m scared. You know how my mom is.’

‘Okay, first thing first, I think your mom is way more open-minded that you think. And then… I do get it, Tyler. And you don’t have to tell them anything just yet, you know? Just wait until you’re ready.’

‘You’re probably right.’ Tyler said, still not reassured.

‘But you like the guy. I know you do. So go for it.’

Tyler was about to answer him, but he could hear his mom telling him that dinner was ready from downstairs, so he quickly warned Mark and hanged up, ignoring the message of Josh who wanted to be sure he was doing okay. He needed to think about something else than this student. He went down the stairs and gave a small smile to his father who was reading a book, seated on the sofa, before taking a seat next to his sister. This one was talking about her day and Tyler was only half listening to her, letting his mind wander.

He had never been that big of a talker anyway. He would gladly listen to someone talk about their lives for several hours if it meant that he wasn’t supposed to talk about himself in return. He had always been a secretive person and didn’t give away his trust easily.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Tyler was glad to discover that he didn’t share any of his classes with Josh, except for his science class which was his last period of the morning. He wasn’t ready to face the student and was secretly hoping that this one wouldn’t show up or call in sick. In any case, he would try and avoid the other student as much as he could.

It was 7:57 when he crossed the entrance of this high-school and he quickly looked around, sighing of relief when he saw that the red-haired boy was nowhere to be seen. Probably late, Tyler thought.

He made his way towards his classroom and waved at Mark who was already seated. He placed his bag on the table and sat next to his friend, waiting for him to talk about what he had confessed on the phone the night before.

‘You’ve seen Josh yet?’ Mark asked, and Tyler smiled a little at this. His friend was so predictable.

‘No. And I don’t plan on seeing him today.’ He answered, trying to focus on what his teacher was saying, hoping that Mark would understand that now wasn’t the right time to talk about it.

‘So you’re just going to ignore him all day long?’

‘That’s the plan.’

‘You’re being ridiculous.’

Tyler just shrugged his shoulders and ignored his friend who let out a small sigh of desperation before dropping the subject, surely knowing that it was better to let it go for a while. Tyler could be very stubborn when he wanted to. And today was one of those days when you couldn’t get anything from him.

The first period ended, and Tyler walked towards the classroom where he had his next period. He was still being very careful and was ready to hide in the bathroom or behind a locker as soon as Josh would show up. He was being immature and childish, he knew that. But he just wasn’t ready to talk to him about anything, and especially about the day before. On top of that, Josh had sent him another text this morning and Tyler had ignored it. He wasn’t proud of himself and knew that Josh wouldn’t probably be in the best mood if they ever came to talk.

He took a seat in the classroom and took his cell phone, biting his lip when he saw that Josh had just sent him another text.

_‘Why are you ignoring me?’_

And another one appeared just after.

_‘I’m sorry if I scared you off yesterday.’_

Tyler put his phone in his bag, reluctantly, ignoring the knowing look of Mark who must had read the texts over his shoulder. The teacher was already ten minutes late and Tyler knew that it was only a matter of time until his friend would start and try reasoning him again. That’s just the way it was.

Tyler took his pencil case and his notebook out of his bag and started scribbling pieces of a song that was stuck in his head for a few days now.

‘Are we really going to avoid the subject for the whole day?’ Mark said, exasperated.

‘Look Mark, what don’t you understand when I say that I don’t want to talk about it?’ Tyler snapped back.

‘For christ’s sake, Tyler! The guy likes you, he wouldn’t be sending you all of those texts if he didn’t! What are you scared of?’

‘Good morning everyone, take a sheet of paper and a pen, I don’t want to see anything else on your table.’ The teacher said, while placing her handbag on the table.

And really, Tyler wasn’t thrilled to have a surprise test on a subject he knew nothing about, but he would gladly have surprise tests for the rest of the day if it meant that it would keep his friend silent.

 

* * *

 

 

‘What kind of asshole is she?’ Mark complained with a harsh voice while getting out of the classroom.

‘Come on, dude, it wasn’t that hard.’ Tyler answered with a shrug.

‘Speak for yourself.’ He said. ‘Well… I’ll see you at lunch, right?’ Mark asked. They weren’t sharing the next period and Tyler was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to ignore Josh this time, considering he didn’t know anyone else in his science class.

‘Yeah, see you later.’ Tyler answered. He silently made his way towards the back of the classroom, thinking that maybe if he was very discreet, Josh wouldn’t see him. It didn’t make any sense, he knew it, but as soon as the red-haired student entered the room, Tyler quickly lowered his head, his hands suddenly becoming the most interesting thing he ever saw in his life. But he could already hear the footsteps approaching him and next thing he knew, he could feel someone taking a seat next to him.

‘Hi.’ Said a familiar voice.

‘Hey.’ Tyler said, trying to sound indifferent.

‘How are you doing?’ Josh asked with such a gentle voice that Tyler couldn’t stop himself from feeling guilty. He was being a complete jerk and Josh didn’t deserve that.

‘I’m good.’ Tyler answered, still looking at his hands.

‘What’s going on, Tyler?’

‘Nothing’s going on, Josh. I accepted to go on a date with you. Now, you leave me alone. That was the deal, right?’ Tyler said, looking up at him for the first time, trying to sound confident and determined. But now, Josh was looking at him with such bewilderment and Tyler could already feel the tears gathering up in his eyes.

‘You don’t mean it.’ Josh said, hurt.

‘I do.’

‘You don’t.’ He repeated. ‘Come on, Tyler, we had a good time. Why are you acting like this?’

‘I… I’d like to listen. Please.’ He managed to articulate while a tear was already rolling down his cheek.

He was trying to sound determined, but he only really wanted to burst into tears in the middle of this classroom. He couldn’t believe himself. He couldn’t believe he was ready to ignore the other student just because he was so scared to assume who he was, just because he was so scared to date a guy, just because he didn’t have the balls to admit that he actually liked him. He was a coward. That’s what he was. Nothing else.

He could feel the muscles of his throat tighten as he was trying to suppress the crying. His hands were shaking, and he quickly tried to hide them by placing them on his thighs, under the table. He looked up at the teacher and tried to focus but jumped with surprise when he felt something touching his hand. It was the tip of one of Josh’s fingers. And as much as Tyler wanted to intertwine his fingers with his, he let go of his hand and place it on the table, but this only made him cry some more.

‘Tyler, would you like to go out for a minute?’ His teacher asked, clearly wondering what was going on.

‘Hum… I… Yeah. Thank you.’ He said, before getting up and leaving the classroom without looking back at Josh.

He rushed into the bathroom and slid against the wall to sat on the ground, cross-legged. And only there, he let it go and burst into tears, secretly hoping that no one would enter the bathroom and see him like this. He hated being vulnerable in front of anyone, especially people he knew nothing about. He felt weak.

When he heard someone opening the door, he quickly brought his two hands to his face to try and look more presentable, but one would have to be blind not to know that he had been crying and so when Josh came to sit next to him, Tyler stayed silent.

‘Tyler…I didn’t want to make you cry.’ Josh said, gently. ‘Talk to me.’

‘You don’t get it, Josh.’ Tyler answered, with a broken voice. ‘You don’t get it! It’s… I can’t be… My mom, she…’

‘Hey… It’s okay. I get it. I do.’

‘Are you really serious… About all of this?’ Tyler asked.

And for one moment, it felt to him like Josh was hesitating. And for one moment, Tyler thought that maybe Mark was right. That maybe Josh wasn’t being genuine, because really, who would be so adamant to ask someone out with pick-up lines like the ones he used? It didn’t seem right. But then, after a few seconds, Josh smiled to him and Tyler couldn’t stop himself from believing him. And maybe he shouldn’t trust him, but he still put his head against his shoulder and let Josh place an arm around him, pulling him closer.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know it's been nearly three months, I'm sorry. I really hope you liked it, tell me what you think :)


	9. Chapter 9

One week had passed since their first date and Josh already started to have regrets about the whole bet situation. The thing is, Josh really started to like Tyler. They had seen each other a few times since the incident in the bathroom where the younger boy had cried, and Josh had found himself being really impressed and amazed by Tyler's personality. He had learned to know him, and it turned out he wasn’t that big of a nerd Josh had expected him to be. He was passionate. He was smart, and Josh just loved how his mind worked. His way of thinking and apprehending the world, it was like nothing he had seen before. The boy was special, but now was too late to have regrets.

It was too late to go to Tyler and say: ‘hey, guess what? I’m just an asshole who did a bet with his friends and I’m only trying to date you to earn 500 bucks’. The truth was, he could actually do that but it would definitely put in danger his relationship with him and that’s not what Josh wanted. It was selfish, and terribly wrong, he knew that, but he just couldn’t bring himself to be honest with the other boy and risking losing a new friend over this. He had thought of this for a while, and had decided to say nothing, to act like he had nothing to feel guilty about. And it was probably a terrible decision, but hopefully the bet would be forgotten after a few months and he would finally be able to enjoy his new relationship with Tyler Joseph.

Josh was on his bed, trying very hard to finish reading a poetry book for his English class. He was then supposed to pick a poem and to summarize it with his own words, which was pretty simple, if Josh didn’t hate to read. The only books he had read in his life were the Harry Potter saga and it had taken him so long he just wasn’t ready to give this activity another try. Luckily his cell phone seemed to read his mind because this one started vibrating against his bedside table, letting him know he had just received a new text. It was from Tyler and even though Josh was trying very hard to play it cool and act like he wasn’t paying too much attention to him, the huge smile that stretched his lips when his eyes fell down of the other boy’s name left little to the imagination. He was in too deep.

The message only said: _‘What are you doing?’_ and Josh wasted no time to answer, deciding that talking to Tyler by text was a far more enjoyable occupation than reading this stupid poetry book.

_‘Trying to read a book. Poetry. For my English class.’_

_‘Nice! Which one?’_

_‘This is not what I would call ‘nice’, but whatever, I guess. Right now, I’m reading something by William Butler Yeats. You know the guy?’_

_‘Do I know the guy? Okay first of, from now on, you will refer to him as ‘Mr Yeats’, and second, of course I know him. He’s my favorite writer. Which one are you reading?’_

_‘You’re such a nerd.’_

_‘You’re such a brat.’_

_‘It’s something in the lines of ‘an irish dude foreseeing his death’ or something.’_

_‘I can’t believe I’m still talking to you. It’s ‘An Irish Airman Foresees His Death.’_

_‘Yeah. That must be it.’_

Josh would be lying if he said that his smile didn’t grow bigger by reading Tyler’s messages. This one was really passionate about the things he liked. It could be anything. It could be a book, a band, a song, or in this case, a writer. He could talk about it for hours without getting bored which, let’s face it, was pretty weird, but most importantly, without boring Josh, which was an achievement, considering how short his attention span was.

Josh still opened the book and tried to give the poem another try, thinking that maybe he hadn’t put enough efforts into it, but he just couldn’t focus on more than two words without being distracted by something, or in this case, someone.

_‘I balanced all, brought all to mind,_

_The years to come seemed waste of breath,_

_A waste of breath the years behind_

_In balance with this life, this death.’_

_‘That’s correct. Did you use our good friend Google, or do you know the poem by heart?’_

_‘I know it by heart. What do you need to do about it anyway? Just read the book?’_

_‘Have to summarize one of the poems.’_

_‘Do you maybe want me to come over, so I can explain it to you?’_

_‘You know, you could have just asked me if you wanted us to see each other.’_

_‘Right.’_

The message was short but was quickly followed by a new one.

_‘I really want to see you. Are you happy, now?’_

_‘Yes. You can come over anytime.’_

Josh read Tyler’s answer saying he was on his way and put his cell phone back on his bedside table. He sighed for a few seconds and then looked up to see the state of his room. It was a complete mess. His clothes were scattered everywhere, along with his notebooks from his different classes. He had never been a fussy person, quite the opposite, he tended to let his room lives its own life until he was feeling personally attacked by the untidiness or until his mom was yelling at him to do something about it. Needless to say, his mom was the main reason he had still a place he could call ‘his room’. Luckily, this time, she wasn’t there to remind him how messy he was. Josh had the house by himself. His parents were out of town and his two sisters and his brother were all at some friends’.

And he usually didn’t take the time to tidy his room for his friends, not that he invited them in his house very often, they were mostly hanging out at Brendon’s place, but there was something about Tyler which pushed him to try a little harder and to do better. It was the first time the other boy was coming to his place and maybe a part of him wanted to do a good first impression. And so, he quickly got up to make his room a little more presentable. He put his clean clothes in his wardrobe and take the others to throw them in the laundry basket.

When Tyler knocked on his door, Josh was still only wearing his underwear and he rushed into his room to put on a jumper and a pair of trousers before making his way downstairs to open the door. Tyler was waiting for him, and this one gave him a shy smile along with an awkward hand gesture. Josh smiled back at him and stepped aside to let the other boy in. Tyler took a few steps and seemed to scan the main room with his eyes for a few seconds before turning back to Josh, staying immobile.

‘You can put your coat on the sofa if you want.’ Josh said and smiled when Tyler only nodded and did as told. It was funny how the younger boy still acted around him, sometimes. Josh had noticed that this one seemed to open up a lot more when they were speaking by messages, and as soon as they were facing each other, Tyler was turning into this much more introverted kind of guy. Which seemed to be pretty logical, when you thought about it, but Josh just found it was a cute habit.

‘Do you want something to drink?’

‘Oh no, I’m fine. But thank you.’ Tyler said.

‘What do you feel like doing?’

‘Well, I really could help you with this poem thing, you know?’

‘Yeah? Let’s go to my room, then.’

Josh climbed the stairs, Tyler following him soon after. He took a few steps in his room and opened the window before turning back at the other boy who seemed to be watching all his posters with deep attention. Josh sat on his bed, and observed Tyler for a while, smiling at him when this one looked back at him.

‘You really love space, don’t you?’

‘I do.’

‘I like this one.’ Tyler said, pointing at the ‘I want to believe’ sign.

‘Still don’t think that aliens exist?’

‘Still don’t.’ Tyler answered. ‘Sorry mate.’ He added while taking a seat besides him on his bed, grabbing the poetry book which was still opened on his bedside table. Tyler’s eyes wandered across the page for a few seconds but this one quickly brought all his attention back to Josh. ‘Where is your family?’ He asked.

‘Parents are out of town, and my siblings must be hanging out at some friends’, I guess.’

‘Did you even understand what the poem was about?’ Tyler asked, out of the blue.

‘Well, it’s about war. About an Irish airman foreseeing his own death.’ Josh answered with a smile, earning a small laugh from Tyler.

‘Great deduction of the title. Did you even read it?’

‘Not really?’ Josh confessed.

‘It’s only fifteen lines, dude, you’re the worst.’

‘Look, I’m sorry, but I just can’t focus. It’s not even that I find it boring. Well, I kinda do, but I… I don’t know. I just can’t.’

For a short moment, Josh thought Tyler would snap back at him and answer with a sassy remark but after a few seconds, his face softened and this one sat cross-legged on his bed before speaking.

‘Well, it’s quite explicit, really. He’s talking about the World War 1. He was Irish, and many Irishmen went to fight for Britain. The narrator is an Airman and I guess he’s struggling a lot with his identity, because he feels like he’s fighting for a country he doesn’t even feel is his own. He doesn’t even see the purpose of the war. You really should try and read it, you know? It’s short and it’s a beautiful poem.’

Josh only nodded and smiled at Tyler when this one went on talking about this poem and about William Butler Yeats’ life in general. He really seemed to be fond of his works. Tyler was talking about it with such passion and such excitement that Josh couldn’t help himself from feeling slightly excited too. But then, Tyler was telling him something about rhyme scheme and iambic tetrameter and Josh found himself being lost again. He was lost, and was instead very focused on Tyler’s eyes, on his mouth, and on the way his lips would move when he spoke. And Josh didn’t have time to convince himself that this was a terrible idea that his lips were already pressed against Tyler’s.

It was only for a few seconds, and Josh moved away as fast as he came closer to kiss him. Tyler was silent, his head was lowered down, and he seemed to look at his hands which were on his knees, or maybe he was just avoiding eye contact.

‘Please don’t run away this time.’ Josh instantly said. Because he cared, and his mind was a thousand miles away from the bet.

‘I… I won’t.’ Tyler answered with a low voice after a few seconds. His eyes were still looking down but then Josh placed his hand on his knee, and this one looked up at him with an expression Josh couldn’t quite decipher. ‘Can we try that again?’ He finally asked, and Josh wasted no time to press their lips together once again. He was about to move away when Tyler placed one of his hand behind his neck and kissed him back. It was hesitant, but it felt good, and Josh couldn’t help but to smile against the younger boy’s lips.

‘Okay no wait.’ Tyler suddenly said while moving away from Josh.

‘What? What’s going on?’

‘If this is something we’re about to do… The whole ‘relationship’ thing. I’m supposed that’s what you want, right?’ Tyler asked, unsure.

‘It is. Only if that’s what you want too.’

‘Right.’ Tyler answered, and this one seemed to be deep in thought for a while. ‘I think I want to try.’ He finally said, and Josh’s smile only grew bigger. ‘But just... I don’t know about you, but I’m not out yet. I don’t want my family to know just yet, even my brother. So please, can we just be discreet about the whole thing? I’m not ready to face everyone’s reactions. I will be, eventually. But not now.’

‘Okay.’ Josh only said. ‘We can keep it a secret.’

‘I can’t believe I’m doing this.’

‘Doing what?’

‘Dating the biggest joke of this high-school.’

‘Well, thank you.’ Josh said with a smile while getting up and making his way towards his desk to put the poetry book back in its place.

‘Come on, I didn’t mean it like that.’ Tyler answered, still seated on his bed.

‘I know. I’m just messing with you.’

Josh let himself fall on his bed only to lie down, bringing Tyler closer. This one seemed to hesitate for a few seconds but still laid down besides him and placed his head in the crook of his neck. Josh wrapped one of his arms around Tyler’s waist and pecked him on the lips, earning a small smile from the younger boy.

‘I still don’t understand why you used all these lame pick-up lines, though. You know there were much simpler ways to make me understand you liked me.’

At first, Josh only let out a small laugh but then the bet crossed his mind, and his smile disappeared. Tyler didn’t deserve any of this, and he definitely didn’t deserve someone like him. But Josh was selfish, and he couldn’t bring himself to tell him the truth.

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying each other’s presence. Tyler seemed to be contemplated the ceiling where Josh had hanged a huge poster representing the solar system. He had always found it reassuring, in a way. He had always been a restless sleeper and this poster usually helped him to clear his mind when he found it impossible to get to sleep.

‘I should head back home.’ Tyler said after a while.

‘Why so soon?’

‘My mom needs my help on something. She told me not to get back late.’

‘Does she know you’re at my place?’ Josh asked.

‘No. I told her I was going at Mark’s. My parents and my brother may be still thinking I hate you.’

‘That’s good to know.’ Josh answered, laughing.

‘Well, I’ll find my way out.’ Tyler said, sitting up straight, and stepping over him to stand up.

‘I can walk you home, if you want.

‘No, don’t bother. You should rest. You seem tired, and a little bit preoccupied. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?’ Tyler asked, bending down to peck him on the lips before making his way out. This one quickly disappeared of his field of vision and Josh let his head fall back against the pillow with a sigh. The whole situation was absurd, and he hated himself for liking him and for accepting this stupid bet in the first place. And really, he could just tell his friends he didn’t want to continue, but a tiny part of himself didn’t want to admit that he had fell for the other boy. It was stupid, and incredibly selfish, but that’s just the way he was. He didn’t want to risk being made fun of because of his sexuality. He had already hooked up with a few guys in the past, but nobody knew about it, and although Josh was convinced that Pete and Brendon would be okay with it, he wasn’t so sure about Jason. This one had always been judgmental, for as long as Josh could remember.

Josh stayed motionless on his bed, trying to think of all the possibilities that were facing him, and he eventually decided to call Pete because, let's face it, this one was the wisest of his friends and he definitely was the best person who could give him some advice on the matter.

‘What’s up, Josh?’

‘Pete, I’m screwed.’ Josh instantly said, not taking the time to say hi.

‘Okay.’ His friend answered. ‘You care to elaborate?’

‘The bet was a stupid idea.’ Josh finally said after a while.

The call went silent and for a few seconds, Josh thought that Pete had hanged up but then he could hear his friend sigh and he knew that he didn’t have to say more to make him understand what was going on.

‘Josh, please, _please_ , don’t tell me you actually like the guy.’

‘Maybe I do just a little bit?’

‘For Christ’s sake, Josh!’ Pete answered, loudly. ‘I warned you. I fucking warned all of you that this wouldn’t end well, and you didn’t even listen to me. Why are you never listening to me?’

‘Okay, can you skip the ‘I told you so’ part and give me actual advice?’

‘I don’t know what you want me to say, Josh.’ Pete added. ‘You screwed up. Big time. And for all I know, nothing you can say will make you look any better. You should just leave the guy alone.’

‘Yeah, I can’t do that.’ Josh answered. ‘We may be dating.’

‘You’re dating?’ Pete repeated, and Josh could tell his friend was getting frustrated and impatient, the tone of his voice left little to the imagination. ‘Then, tell him the truth.’

‘I can’t do that, he’ll hate me!’

‘Well, I’m sorry to break it to you, but I can’t think of any scenario where this ends well. You should tell him, Josh. Otherwise, he’ll hear it from someone else and then, you can be sure he’ll never forgive you. 

‘Yeah. I was planning not to say anything and wait for everybody to forget about this stupid bet.’

‘This is a terrible decision, but okay.’ Pete finally said. ‘Listen, I’m tired, I was about to take a nap when you called me. I’m going to sleep for a few hours and we’ll talk about it in the morning, okay?'

'Okay.'

'You're so stupid, Josh.' 

'I know.' 

And with that, Pete hanged up, letting Josh alone with his guilt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure what to think about this chapter but okay. Hope you liked it! Hopefully, I won't take two months to post the next chapter.  
> Enjoy the fluff while you still can, only a few chapters left until the drama begins.


	10. Chapter 10

‘So, you two are dating, huh?’

His friend Mark was talking. Tyler and Josh had been dating for two weeks now and none of their friends knew about it. They had agreed not to tell anyone, and they had managed to keep their relationship a secret for now. Tyler had decided he could tell his best-friend the day before over the phone, as he probably was the only one in this high-school he could trust with his life.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler answered, unable to hold back the small smile from stretching his lips.

‘And it seems to make you very happy.’ Mark added knowingly.

‘I just really like him, Mark.’ Tyler said. ‘I know he can seem a little bit arrogant at first sight, and I’m not going to lie to you: Sometimes, he’s a complete douche, but he’s… He’s different. He also has a soft side, once you try to get to know him.’

‘Okay.’ And Tyler didn’t have to see Mark’s face to know that this one was still a little bit reluctant about the whole thing.

‘You still don’t trust him completely, do you?’

‘I don’t know, man. There’s something about him that’s bugging me. About him and his friends. Especially this Jason guy.’

‘Well, to be honest, he doesn’t really know him. He’s mostly friend with Pete and Brendon. And they seem okay. And do I need to remind you that you’re the one who pushed me to go out with him in the first place?’

‘I know.’ Mark simply answered. ‘But you were already in too deep, it wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. And maybe I’m just being paranoid.’

‘I think you are.’ Tyler said, while walking out of the main building of the high school and making his way towards his car. ‘Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, right? I think my mom wanted to invite your parents over at some point during next week.’

Mark only nodded, and Tyler waved at him a last time before closing the door of his car. He was supposed to wait for Josh, so they could spend the afternoon at his place. They didn’t have any classes for the rest of the day, and he knew his parents were still at work and his two brothers and his sister still had a few hours of classes. He turned on the radio for a while to distract himself, but he just couldn’t forget about what Mark had just told him. His friend seemed to be very skeptical and suspicious and what worried Tyler even more is the fact that this one usually wasn’t judgmental. For as long as he could remember, Mark had always been an easy-going person who seemed to get along with everyone. And he probably also was the most clear-sighted person Tyler knew. But if there was thing Tyler was almost convinced of, it’s that Josh was being genuine. Nobody would date someone for that long and then screw them over, Tyler thought.

A new smile appeared on his face when his eyes fell on Josh through his wing mirror, but Tyler almost instantly felt that something was wrong. He was only parked at a few meters away from the main entrance of the high-school and he could see that Josh seemed to be in a turbulent conversation with two of his friends that Tyler recognized as Brendon and Jason. He couldn’t hear anything, but the gestures of Josh’s hand left little to the imagination. This one then pushed Jason with his hands and Tyler knew something was off. He watched Josh as he turned around and made his way towards his car, looking a bit angry. He waited for him to open the passenger door and smiled at him when this one placed one of his hands behind his neck to kiss him on the lips.

‘How are you doing?’ Josh asked, smiling.

‘I’m good.’ Tyler answered. ‘A little bit tired from the week but honestly, tiredness is just part of my personality by now.’ He added and smiled when Josh let out a small laugh at his words. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m okay’ Josh simply said, but Tyler could hear that he was faking it.

‘You sure?’ He insisted. ‘I saw you with Jason. You seemed to be very angry at him.’

‘He was just being an ass. Don’t worry about him.’ Josh said. ‘Just drive.’

‘You know.’ Tyler started, playing with his car keys. ‘I noticed that every single time you’re talking to me about him, it’s because he got on your nerves. If he annoys you so much, why are you still hanging out with him?’ Tyler asked.

‘I honestly don’t know.’ Josh answered and this one seemed to be in deep thought for a few seconds before turning back towards Tyler to smile at him. ‘Can we please stop talking about him? I just want to enjoy this afternoon with the hottest guy on earth.’

‘Oh my god, shut up.’ Tyler only said while starting the engine. It was only a ten minutes’ drive and he was soon parking his car on the sidewalks, besides his house. He made sure that no one was in the house before letting Josh in. He was mostly spending time at Josh’s place because it wasn’t rare for him to be alone in his house and he certainly didn’t want to take the risk of his parents seeing Josh. He didn’t know if he would be able to keep the secret any longer if they did. He had always been a terrible liar, especially when he had to keep his parents from knowing something. His father was always seeing right through him.

Tyler climbed the stairs and made his way to his room, letting himself fall on his bed. He was exhausted and there was only one thing he wanted to do at this very moment, it was to sleep during ten whole hours. His room was quiet and when he looked up at Josh to see what this one was doing, he could see he was only looking at him with a small smile on his face. Tyler smiled back at him and frowned when something fell from his bed. Josh looked down and handed him his journal he used to hide under his mattress.

‘I think it fell.’ Josh only said, looking at the journal with an expression Tyler couldn’t quite decipher. His voice sounded a little bit off again, but he just thought it was still the fight with Jason that was bugging him.

‘Thanks.’ Tyler said, taking the notebook in his hands before placing it under his pillow. ‘It’s just my journal.’

‘Oh.’ Josh simply said.

‘I was seeing a therapist a few years ago because I was very anxious, and he advised me to start writing positive thoughts in a notebook. So, I started it and then it just became a private journal through the years. It's really personal.’

‘Right.’ Josh answered, not saying more, and the tone of his voice seemed to be even more hesitant than a few minutes ago. ‘Scoot over, you're not the only one who's exhausted.’ He added, and Tyler only smiled at him before shifting to the left.

Josh laid down next to him and wrapped one of his arms around his waist while burying his face into the crook of Tyler’s neck. The younger student couldn’t help but to frown a little bit at Josh’s sudden outburst of affection. He wasn’t the most affectionate person he knew, and he could tell that there was something more than the fight he had witnessed a few minutes before. Josh seemed a little bit absent today, and a little bit emotional too, and Tyler couldn’t really figure it out. Maybe he was just overthinking it; after all, this one had always been more secretive than him since the beginning of their relationship, maybe he was just being paranoid and overly worried.

He still ran his right hand through Josh’s hair a few times before kissing him on the forehead. Sweet gestures like these ones weren’t usually a part of their routine but Tyler felt like Josh could need more affection than usual.

‘Are you doing okay?’ He whispered, his lips pressed against his hair.

‘Yeah.’ Josh only answered, quietly.

‘Are you sure?’ Tyler insisted, and stayed quiet when Josh only nodded against him.

‘You do know I like you, right?’ Josh suddenly asked out of the blue, straightening up his head by placing his elbow on the mattress. Tyler looked at him for a few minutes, feeling like what Josh was saying to him was important. It wasn’t trivial, and he went on looking at him with great attention until a smile stretched his lips.

‘I know.’ Tyler said, still smiling. ‘And you can be a douche from time to time, but I like you too.’ He added, earning a small laugh from Josh who only pressed their lips together.

Tyler kissed him back, and what was only sweet kisses suddenly turned into something more. Tyler definitely wasn’t the most confident guy when it came to this sort of things, but he couldn’t just do nothing and find a way to cut short what was happening like he always did since he started dating the other student. This time, he felt something in the lower part of his abdomen and he knew he was more aroused than usual. But his anxiety came back at full speed when Josh deepened the kiss by putting his hands behind his neck and placing himself above him, making it quite clear that he wanted something more.

‘Wait.’ Tyler said, sitting back straight.

‘Too soon?’ Josh asked, smiling while looking up at him.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler said, shyly. ‘Sorry.’ He knew it wasn’t the first time that Josh was dropping a hint to make him understand that he was ready to take the next step with him and saying he didn’t want to as well would be a lie, he just didn’t know if he trusted him enough to do that. After all, they had been dating for about two weeks, and Tyler was sure there were still many things he didn’t know about Josh. The last thing he wanted was to rush into this and regret it later.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Josh answered, kissing him on the forehead. ‘Cuddle?’

‘Yeah.’ He said with a smile. ‘Cuddling is good.’

Tyler let Josh nestle against him and this same smile appeared on his face when he realized how happier he was since he had agreed to go on a date with this red-haired boy. It wasn’t in his habit to go out with guys like him, but Josh was different. What could seem like arrogance and excessive pride was in fact a kind of defense mechanism. He had suspected it a while ago when Josh had just started hitting on him with these lame pick-up lines but knowing he had been right all along was quite comforting, in a way.

After a few minutes, Tyler noticed Josh had fallen asleep against him and he looked at him for a while. He hadn’t closed his door completely, but he was too busy watching his boyfriend sleep to see his father looking silently at them through the small opening, with a small smile on his face. It’s only when this one stepped back just a little bit and knocked on his door that Tyler and Josh jumped with surprise and moved away from each other.

‘Tyler?’ His dad asked. ‘Can I come him?’ It wasn’t like his dad to ask for his permission to come in but Tyler chose to ignore it and quickly answered him.

‘Yeah. Go ahead.’ He said, taking one of his textbooks.

‘Oh, I didn’t know you had brought a friend home.’ His dad said with a smile.

‘Yeah, it’s Josh. I don’t think you met him, right? Only mom did.’

‘I don’t think I did. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Josh.’ His dad answered, stretching out his hand to Josh.

‘Likewise.’

‘We were… We were revising. For the…’ Tyler quickly looked at the textbook he had in his hands before adding: ‘Math test. Right, Josh?’

‘Yes. Totally. Tyler was helping me on something I didn’t quite understand.’ He said, playing along.

‘Alright. Well, I’ll let you revise, then. I’ll be downstairs.’

Tyler waited for his dad to disappear from his field of vision to let out a sigh of relief. His dad had acted quite weird, but he was pretty sure he hadn’t seen anything he wasn’t supposed to see. He smiled a little bit at Josh who also seemed to be quite relieved. 

‘That was a close one.’ Tyler said, laughing.

‘It was.' Josh agreed with a smile. 'Well, I should go. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?’

Josh pecked him on the lips and stood up before making his way outside his bedroom. Tyler did the same and followed him downstairs, handing him his coat that he had placed in the wardrobe located in the entrance of their house.

‘You’re leaving already, Josh?’ Tyler’s dad asked from the kitchen.

‘Yeah, my mom is waiting for me. It was nice to meet you, Mr. Joseph.’

Tyler rolled his eyes for a few seconds and couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh when Josh gave his father his most charming smile before taking a few steps in his garden. Tyler looked around for a bit and when he was sure that nobody could see them, he placed his right hand behind Josh’s neck and gave him a quick kiss.

‘Take care of you, alright?’ Tyler said, slowly.

‘I will.’

He smiled at him for a few seconds and turned around to step into his house where his dad seemed to be waiting for him in the living-room. This one was seated on the sofa and was looking at an old black and white movie. Tyler knew his father had always been a huge fan of the cinema and he was certain he could listen to him talking about his favorite movies and producers for hours without getting bored, that’s how passionate his dad was.

‘What movie it is?’ Tyler asked, taking a seat besides his father.

‘Casablanca. Your mom’s favorite.’

‘Oh, right.’ Tyler said without adding anything else. He watched the movie for a few minutes but he could feel that this time, his dad wasn’t really focused on the plot but that something else seemed to preoccupy him.

‘So, you’re friend with this Josh, then?’ His dad asked.

‘Not really.’ Tyler lied, and he felt guilty to make them all believe such a thing. It wasn’t fair to his family, but mostly it wasn’t fair to Josh.

‘Last time we talked about him, your mom seemed to be the only one excited over him.’

‘Yeah, well… It turned out he isn’t that big of a douche. But we don’t really know each other, you know. It’s always school related.’

‘I see.’ His dad said.

‘How come you’re here already? I thought you said you would be back very late today.’ Tyler asked.

‘The meeting with my client was cancelled so I decided to come back home early.’

Tyler simply nodded and smiled at his father for a few seconds. He knew this one was trying to work very hard for his new job because he was new and wanted to make a good first impression. He wasn’t seeing him very often and he couldn’t wait for him to be more present, so he could enjoy him a little bit more.

‘How is high-school? What’s your math test about?’

‘My math test?’ Tyler repeated, confused.

‘Well, isn’t it what you were revising with Josh?’

‘Oh! The math test! Yes. Hum, it’s about… Probability.’

‘It should be easy for you, then.’ His dad only said, smiling.

‘Yeah. It should be. Josh is not very good at Math, so I just wanted to help him.’

‘That’s really nice of you. You’re a good kid, Tyler.’  His dad only said before bringing back all his attention to the movie.

Tyler frowned, his father’s behavior seemed a little bit weird and he wanted to continue the conversation so he could know more about it, but he also knew that as soon as his dad was in deep concentration on a movie, he couldn’t get anything from him. Therefore, he just stood up and was about to climb the stairs to go back to his room when Zack opened the front door with an abrupt gesture and threw his backpack next to the sofa like he always did when he was coming back from classes.

‘How was your day, kiddo?’ His dad asked to his little brother.

‘Boring.’ This one answered, letting himself fall on the sofa.

Tyler joined them in the living-room and took his cell-phone from his jean’s pocket, smiling when he saw that he had a new message from Josh.

_‘I’m home. Looking forward to seeing your pretty face tomorrow.’_

_‘You’re so lame.’_ He answered and quickly sent another message. _‘Why did I agree to date you in the first place, again?’_

_‘Maybe because I’m irresistible and because you just love me so much?’_

Tyler tried to hold back the huge smile from stretching his lips; he didn't want to raise any more suspicion. But as he brought back his attention to the movie, a thought crossed his mind.

He was pretty sure he was falling in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, two chapters in one week, I'm on fire! I hope you liked this one, please tell me if you did :) I'm excited to read your impressions!   
> Thank you so much for reading, it means a lot :)


	11. Chapter 11

Josh should have known better. He should have known that hiding the bet from Tyler’s knowledge wasn’t exactly the smartest decision he could have taken. He should have known that it wouldn’t end well.

Yet, here he was, walking towards Tyler behind the high-school. They were always meeting at the same place before classes because it usually was an empty spot with no one around. He smiled at the other boy and pecked him on the lips while placing his two hands on his cheeks.

‘How are you doing today?’ He asked with a gentle voice.

‘Not good.’ Tyler only answered, lowering his head to the ground.

‘Yeah?’ Josh said, encouraging the younger boy to tell him more about it.

‘I’m just anxious.’ Tyler confessed while running one of his hands through his hair.

‘For something in particular?’ Josh asked, feeling a bit worried. He knew about Tyler’s anxiety and this one seemed to have been much better these past few years, but Tyler had also told him that it could still get bad sometimes. And he wanted to be there for him on those days.

Because Tyler had a facade too, after all. They all did. When he first met him, he was acting very confident and used to always snap back at him in a sarcastic manner and even though Josh loved that about him, he had also learned to know that he wasn’t as fine as he seemed. He wasn’t what he could call a shy kid, he was pretty introverted, yes, but it was just a part of his personality. He also was very insecure about many things and Josh knew he loved acting like he was the most confident and sarcastic guy ever. It was a defense mechanism, a way for him to try and be that guy.

‘Not really.’ Tyler finally answered after a few seconds of being completely silent. ‘It’s just… You know. Little things.’

‘Yeah.’ Josh said while holding the younger boy in his arms.

‘I’m gonna be okay, though. You know me.’ Tyler told him with a smile. ‘Always faking it until I can truly make it.’

Josh nodded and smiled at him, following him on the main building when it was time for them to go to their first respective periods. They parted ways on the corridor and as Josh watched Tyler walking in his classroom with this same confident smile, he found himself thinking that the student probably was the bravest person he had met.

He stayed immobile in the corridor for a few minutes, and eventually turned around to join Pete who was waiting for him in front of their classroom. They had grown closer since Josh had told him about the dilemma he was facing, he was still talking to Brendon and Jason but a lot less than before, especially since Jason and he had a fight three days ago. This one had reproached him to spend all his time with Tyler who was, in his opinion, a ‘fucking weirdo’, and Josh had just lost it and had pushed him away.

They had seen each other again since then, and they had acted like nothing had happened, but Josh knew Jason seemed to be a little bit colder than usual and he was constantly trying to stay calm and keep his cool when this one was saying judgmental remarks about Tyler.

‘What’s up, man?’ Josh asked, embracing him and patting him on the back a few times.

‘Not much.’ Pete answered, shrugging his shoulders. ‘I saw you.’ He added. ‘With Tyler. How is he doing?’

‘Not so good, but I guess he’s going to be okay.’ Josh answered. ‘I hope so.’

As every single time he was talking about Tyler to Pete, his eyes were suddenly gazing into space, unable to stop thinking about the younger boy. He knew he was head over heels, but he was trying his hardest to forget this piece of information, which was complicated, considering Pete was always here to remind him of that.

‘Have you told him?’ Pete asked, and Josh only sighed.

‘Well, what do you think?’ Josh said in a sarcastic tone.

‘Josh, it’s been three weeks already, you need to get your shit together and tell him the truth.’

‘But why would he need to know?’ Josh asked, desperate to talk about something else and cut short this conversation.

‘Why would he need to know?!’ Pete repeated, exasperated. ‘Maybe because you started dating him for money? Maybe because all of this was just a stupid game in the first place? Maybe because you’re betraying his trust?!’

‘But it doesn’t matter!’ Josh said. ‘It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that I like him now. I really do. What’s important is that I don’t fucking care about the money anymore, I only care about _him_.’

‘Do you hear yourself talking, Josh?’ Pete asked, lowering his voice. ‘You’re already head over heels for the boy.’ He added, louder. ‘Let’s say he’s the one? Let’s say you guys spend at least six months or even two years together? There would always be this tiny thought in the back of your head that your relationship is just a big lie, that you’re nothing but a fraud. How do you think you would feel then?’

‘I… I don’t know.’ Josh only said.

‘Look, I’m not here to force you to do anything but… I’m just saying. There will be a day when you won’t be able to fix it anymore. You still can. So, do it. Or at least, try. I know you’re already feeling guilty about it and I’m telling you… This feeling won’t disappear all of a sudden. It will only get worse.’

‘I just don’t want to lose him, Pete.’ Josh confessed, running one of his hands through his red hair.

‘I know. And I’m not saying you won’t. Maybe you will. But maybe it’s better for you to lose him now than in six months or even later, don’t you think?’

‘Yeah…. Yeah, maybe you’re right.’

Pete had always been the wisest one of his friends and Josh knew he was right about the whole thing. He knew that if he didn’t tell Tyler soon, this one would eventually learn the truth on his own and things would only get worse then. He sighed and stepped in the classroom, smiling at Brendon who was seated next to Jason. This one only waved at Josh without saying anything and for a few seconds, Josh found himself thinking that maybe he should apologize for pushing him because he hated the awkward tension which had grown between the two of them. But it didn’t feel right, because he shouldn’t be the one apologizing for what happened, Jason was. He was the one who had said awful remarks about Tyler, he was the one looking at Josh in a weird way every single time he was letting them know he was about to spend some time with him. And Josh was also just too proud to apologize first.

And so, he just took a seat on an empty table and waited for Pete to sit down next to him, ignoring the conversation of their friends. Instead, he took his cell-phone from his jeans pocket and a smile instantly stretched his lips when his eyes fell down on the new message Tyler had just sent him.

_‘Mark has to miss classes tomorrow, so I thought maybe we could have lunch at Taco Bell? What do you think?’_

_‘Sounds good!’_

Josh stayed silent for a while, just looking at his conversation with Tyler, and he was suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. Their relationship had evolved a lot since Tyler had agreed to try something with him, and Josh couldn’t help but to notice that the younger student seemed to trust him a lot more too. For a few days, now, Tyler had opened up to him about many personal issues such as his anxiety and he was convinced that if he was about to tell him the truth about this stupid bet, his anxiety and his trust issues would only get much worse, and Josh didn’t want to have this on his conscience.

His class started but Josh’s mind was a thousand miles away from what his teacher was saying. He was only thinking of how screwed he was. He couldn’t think of any good solutions: Either he was staying silent about the situation he was in and he would surely feel guilty for the rest of his life, or he was being honest and would risk losing the most genuine and authentic guy he had met. He was stuck.

_‘Okay. Let’s say at one? I don’t have any classes during the afternoon.’_

_‘Fine by me.’_ Josh only sent before trying to focus on the exercise he was supposed to be doing. But after a few minutes, he could already feel his phone vibrate against his thigh another time.

_‘I know we’re in high-school and it’s probably not the best place to say this, but I just wanted to thank you for being supportive and for sticking around even with my shitty mood swings.’_

_‘Don’t mention it.’_

_That’s it_. Josh though. _I’m fucked._

 

It was already 5pm when he walked out of the main building of the high-school, alongside Pete, Brendon and Jason. The day had been quite peaceful, and Josh hadn’t been able to see Tyler since the small discussion they had in the morning. The four of them were walking towards Brendon’s house like they always used to, and Josh was only half-listening to Jason who was talking about the trip he was about to take during the holidays with his parents. His family was very rich, and Jason always had great plans for each of their vacation, and Josh couldn’t find it in him to be surprised anymore.

It was only a fifteen minutes’ walk and they were soon going down the stairs leading to Brendon’s basement. The room was large, and it wasn’t rare for them to spend their evening in here, sometimes even their nights when Josh’s parents agreed to let him sleep at Brendon’s place. Needless to say, they didn’t let him go very often considering what they thought of his two friends.

‘Where are your parents?’ Josh asked, trying to lighten the mood.

‘Still at work. I guess.’ Brendon answered.

Josh only nodded, and the room was awfully quiet again. He then tried to talk about all the things that were crossing his mind to try and strike up a new conversation and ease the situation, but nothing seemed to be working, as Pete was the only one who seemed to understand what Josh intended to do.

‘I was thinking maybe we could go to the movies tomorrow afternoon? Since we don’t have any classes. What do you say?’ Brendon asked, out of the blue.

‘I don’t think I can Sorry. Maybe another time, though.’ Josh answered, knowing he would probably spend the day with Tyler.

‘Have you already planned something?’ Brendon asked, curious, and Josh was about to answer but Jason was faster.

‘Well, maybe he’s spending the day with Tyler . Again.’ He said in a sarcastic tone and even though Josh could already feel the anger boiling up in him, he kept it to himself and stayed silent.

‘You do know it was just a bet, right?’ Brendon added. ‘You’re taking it way too seriously, dude. You should chill. I feel like it’s been ages since we last hang out together.’

‘Brendon, when will you realize that if he doesn’t spend time with us anymore, it’s because he just fell in love with that pussy?’

And Josh had tried to stay calm. He had tried to keep it cool and act like he hadn’t heard anything. But it was too much, and before he could realize what was happening, his fist had already landed on Jason’s nose, making it bleed. His friend didn’t say anything for a few seconds, neither did Pete nor Brendon who were only watching him with a disbelief look on their faces. And for a short moment, Josh almost felt guilty of losing his temper so easily, but the feeling quickly went away when Jason spoke again.

‘See? He wouldn’t act like this and get all defensive if he wasn’t head over heels for that faggot.’

‘What the hell, Jason?’ Pete exclaimed, loudly. ‘You don’t even know the guy!’

‘You know what?’ Josh suddenly said. ‘I’m done. I don’t want to hear this.’ He added. ‘I’m leaving. And for the record, Jason, maybe I don’t hang out with you anymore because I just don’t want to spend some time with a guy who is only respected because his dad is the richest asshole in town.’

And as Jason was about to punch him in the face, Pete stood up and stopped him from hitting Josh by placing himself between the two of them, looking at them with bewilderment.

‘Guys!’ Pete yelled. ‘Stop it. Right now.’

Josh was breathing fast, and he didn’t think he had hated someone as much as he hated Jason right now. He had never been a judgmental person. Of course, in this high-school, most students thought he was because it was just the image they had of Josh. He was the scary, arrogant but respected kid.

In reality, and outside of his high-school, he was always trying to be as respectful as he could be. Respect had always been very important in his family and it was one of the greatest values his parents had taught him. But this time, it was too much. This time, he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to stay as far away as possible from Jason.

‘Don’t you dare talk about my dad, ever again.’ This one said as Josh was making his way out of the basement.

‘Go fuck yourself.’ Josh only answered, climbing the stairs.

‘You’re going to regret this, Josh.’

It was the last thing he heard before leaving Brendon’s house and he couldn’t help but notice that there seemed to be something threatening in Jason’s voice, something that scared him.

He was walking with a determined step, his headphones on, trying to forget all about the conversation he just had. He was still unbelievably angry at Jason, but he was mostly angry at himself. Because he knew he could try to put the blame on his friend for as long as he could, he was still the one who had been stupid enough to accept the bet in the first place. This wasn’t on Jason, nor on Brendon. This was on him. Since the beginning. Blaming the others for what he did wasn’t going to make him feel any better about himself.

 _This is your fault_. He thought, while taking a few steps in his living room, letting his parents know he was back from school.

 _This is your fault_. He thought, while taking a shower, hoping the water would wash away his guilt alongside the dirt and his sweat.

 _This is your fault_. He thought, while talking about his day to his parents who were asking him a thousand questions.

 _This is your fault_. He thought while slipping under his sheets.

 _This is your fault_. He thought while texting Tyler.

 

_‘There’s something I need to tell you.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, are you ready for the drama? 
> 
> Hope you liked the chapter :) Not so proud of this one (I think I enjoy writing Tyler's pov more than I do with Josh's)


	12. Chapter 12

When Tyler came back home that day, he was shattered. He had just spent a hard day at school and had to go through Basketball practise this afternoon. He had promised his father he would stay in the basketball team and even though he started thinking that it may had been a terrible mistake, he couldn’t just give up now, his father had been nice enough to support his life decision, the least thing he could do was to finish what he had started. The thing that annoyed him the most wasn’t the sport in itself, it was the people he played with. He had to see them every single week and it was becoming harder and harder for him to face their homophobic remarks. Their new favorite occupation was to make fun of an history teacher who was openly gay. At first, Tyler had tried to go with the flaw, but it didn’t feel right anymore. He was tired to hide this part of himself, even if his sexuality didn’t define him, he didn’t want to be ashamed of it. He didn’t want to feel like he had to live in a lie just to please people’s expectations. No one should feel like this.

But again, he didn’t really want to be made fun of either. It was selfish, he knew that, but he wasn’t ready nor strong enough to face all the criticism that could come along the fact of coming out. Especially in this high-school. Maybe he would come out once high-school was finished. Right now, he just wanted to finish his school years without any trouble.

He was done with classes for the day and he had decided to spend some time at Mark’s place, just for a few hours. They had talked about little things, and Tyler felt happier than he did in the morning. He felt lighter and he knew it was thanks to his friend. They hadn’t talked like this for a long time and Tyler had missed the late-night conversations they used to have in the beginning of the school year. It still was the beginning when he thought of it, but so much had happened since he had moved back here with his family that it almost felt like he had never left Columbus in the first place.

When he crossed the threshold, everybody was already waiting for him around the kitchen table, as dinner seemed to be ready, and Tyler just let go of his backpack and sat next to his brother, not before saying hi to his parents first.

‘How was your day?’ His mom asked.

‘Fine. Tiring. I didn’t sleep well last night. I don’t really know why.’ Tyler explained.

‘How is Mark? His parents are coming over on Sunday.’ His father added.

‘He’s doing good. And yeah, I know, he told me this morning.’

The conversation went on and then focused on the next vacation they were planning. His dad wanted them to visit his father and Tyler was excited about it. It had been nearly one year since they hadn’t seen him, and he couldn’t wait to listen to all the stories his grandpa used to tell him each time they were visiting.

He was about to ask his father how this one was doing when he saw that he had a new message from Josh. Usually, a large smile would appear on his face, but he was with his family and he didn’t want them to suspect anything.

_‘There’s something I need to tell you.’_

It wasn’t in Josh’s habit to send him such a vague message. And Tyler could already feel his heartbeats speeding up against his chest. He wasn’t an expert in romantic relationship, but he could bet that receiving this kind of messages wasn’t a good thing. Quite the opposite. He reread the message another time, thinking that maybe he had missed something or that his mind was just playing tricks on him and interpreting it the wrong way. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes and eventually decided to wait until he was back in the safety of his room to answer. He was feeling too anxious to say something while his whole family was besides him, looking at him with concerned eyes, surely because his facial expression had just changed drastically.

‘You’re alright, ty-guy?’ His brother asked. ‘Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.’

‘I’m good. Just tired.’ He lied.

He stayed quiet during the rest of the dinner - not that it changed completely from how he was usually acting – and rushed into his room as soon as he finished eating. He sat on his bed and stared at the message for a few more seconds and after thinking during a solid minute of what he was supposed to answer, he just went with a simple _‘okay’_.

 _This isn’t enough_. He though. He didn’t want to seem dismissive and so he wrote something else implying he actually cared (maybe a little bit much) about what Josh had to say to him.

 _‘Is it serious?’_ And the answer didn’t take long to appear on his screen.

_‘It is. Although I don’t want it to be.’_

_‘You’re scaring me. Can’t we talk on the phone?’_

_‘No, I want to talk face to face.’_

_‘Okay. Well we can talk about it at lunch? What do you think?’_

_‘Yes. Okay. I’ll see you at lunch, then.’_

_‘Alright. Stay safe.’_

Saying Tyler was completely calm would be a lie. But he had to be. He was trying to convince himself that it was nothing too serious, or that it was something that Josh was scared to tell him, but Tyler couldn’t think of anything that would possibly make him hate Josh. It was in this somewhat confused but hopeful state of mind that he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

He woke up the next morning by the sound of his alarm going off. He groaned for a few seconds and eventually took his cell phone in his hands in order to make the awful ringtone stop. Most of the people he knew set songs as their alarms, saying it made it easier for them to wake up, but as much as he loved music with his whole heart, he knew it would only make him go back to sleep.

That morning, such as any other mornings, Tyler got up and stayed seated for a few seconds, rubbing his temples with his hands to try and wake up a bit more. He took a quick shower and didn’t even take the time to eat something before walking out of his house and stepping in his car, waiting for his brother to join him so he could start the engine and making his way to the high-school.

It’s only when he saw Mark at the entrance of the main building, his cell-phone in hands, that he remembered the message Josh had sent him the day before. He had tried to stay positive, but he could still feel his anxiety coming back at full speed.

‘What’s up, dude?’ Mark asked,embracing him and tapping him a few times on his back.

‘Not much. I guess.’ Tyler answered, and his voice sounded much uncertain than he wanted it to be.

‘You sure?’ Mark insisted while taking a few steps in the hall. ‘You seem a bit tense.’

‘Yeah, don’t worry. It’s nothing.’ Tyler said, trying to hide his unease.

‘Something to do with Josh?’ His friend guessed, and Tyler couldn’t help but to let out a small smile, thinking that it was nearly impossible for him to hide something from his friend.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler confessed. ‘He just said he wanted to talk to me about something. It sounded serious.’

‘Really?’ Mark asked, and Tyler could hear it in his voice that his friend seemed confused and even a little bit suspicious.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler only said. ‘He sent me a text yesterday evening. I don’t know, it was weird. Maybe I’m just being paranoid.’

‘Yeah.’ Mark agreed. ‘Maybe you are.’

Tyler didn’t answer anything and stopped at his locker to take the stuff he needed for his first class. He wasn’t sharing it with Josh, only the second period, and he was impatient to see him, because he knew he would be able to say if what he was about to tell him was serious just by looking at his face. At first, Tyler had thought Josh was mysterious but now he had gotten to know him, he actually thought that Josh was making it quite obvious when he was in a bad mood, or when he was angry at him, or nervous about something.

‘By the way, have you heard?’ Mark asked him while taking a seat next to him in their classroom. Nobody was there yet, and Tyler was glad he could have some peace before the continual background noise he was about to face.

‘Have I heard what?’ Tyler asked, bored.

‘Jason and Josh fought. Last night.’ Mark said, and Tyler instantly looked up at him, this piece of information reminding him too much of the scene he had witnessed between the two of them.

‘And how would you know such a thing?’

‘Rumors spread fast. For all I know, Brendon told someone about it. And now, pretty much everyone knows. You know how high-schools work.’

‘Yeah.’ Tyler only said, confused. The only one who could confirm this rumor happened to be Josh himself and he quickly took his cell-phone to send him a message, wanting to be sure he was okay.

_‘Is it true you fought with Jason?’_

_‘Who told you that?’_ Tyler frowned, thinking it was weird that Josh was already on the defensive, almost like he didn’t want him to know about it.

 _‘It’s just rumors. Is it true?’_ He asked again.

_‘Yes.’_

_‘Why?’_

_‘I’ll explain at lunch.’_

Tyler frowned again and the knot in his stomach only grew bigger. He had this unpleasant impression that everything was connected, that the reason Josh didn’t want to give him the details was because it was linked with the thing he wanted to tell him. He was confused. The only thing he was sure of is that something was wrong. And he had a very, very bad feeling about all of this.

He was right.

It’s only when Jason stepped in the classroom that Tyler’s suspicions only grew bigger. This one seemed to have a broken nose and Tyler couldn’t help but to notice that he was looking at him with something he could guess was anger, or arrogance. The class eventually started but Tyler could still feel that Jason was still looking mischievously at him. This one had never looked at him in a good way, but this time, there was something that made Tyler very uncomfortable, and he couldn’t figure out what. He tried to ignore the weird looks by looking down at his notebook, by listening to what his teacher was saying, but Jason wouldn’t stop. And Tyler only really wanted to run away from this classroom.

Which he nearly did, once the first period was over. He knew Jason also shared his second period, but Josh was there too, and maybe this one wouldn’t dare look at him too much if his secret boyfriend was there too.

‘What the fuck is wrong with him?’ Mark said, loudly, stepping in the next classroom. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Yeah.’ Tyler said, unsure. ‘It just felt weird.

‘Yeah. I bet it did.’ Mark answered.

Tyler sat down and took a deep breath, trying to stay calm and confident. He grasped his pencil and his notebook once again, smiling a bit when he realized that he was about to have a creative writing class and he loved this course and the teacher so much that it made him feel a little bit better. That until Jason took a seat that was facing him. The disposition of the tables in this classroom was different from the usual ones and Tyler suddenly didn’t want to be here anymore.

When Josh made his way in the classroom, this one smiled brightly at him and Tyler could already feel all the tension leaving his body. This one had a weird soothing effect on him and he gave him back a small smile while drawing aimlessly on his notebook. When he looked up at Josh again, the class had already started for a few minutes and he could see this one was feeling a bit nervous, by the way his hands were rubbing against each other, or the way Josh was ignoring his gaze.

‘What the fuck is wrong with everyone?’ Mark suddenly asked after a few seconds.

‘What do you mean?’ Tyler said, his eyes still lowered down on his drawings.

‘Well, can’t you see?’ Mark said, confused. ‘Everyone is looking at you.’

And that’s when he knew he had been right. Something was wrong. He was looking around him, and every single student’s eyes were on him. Some of them had a mocking smile, some of them were laughing, and some were only looking at him with a pity look. One thing was clear, most of them were making fun on him. Tyler tried to ignore it. He tried to focus on something else, anything, but his mind just couldn’t think about anything else than what was happening right there, in this classroom.

His eyes eventually fell on Josh, and for the briefest of second, he thought it was going to be okay but then, he watched him look at his cell-phone for a few seconds, frowning, and when this one suddenly looked up at him with a scared and shocked expression, Tyler knew that no, it wasn’t going to be okay. It was only going to get much worse.

Tyler ran one of his hands through his hair, trying to keep a neutral expression, but he could already feel the muscles of his throat tightening up, making it harder for him to breathe.

‘Mark.’ He said with a strangled voice. ‘I don’t feel so well.’

‘I know.’ His friend answered. ‘It’s going to be okay. Whatever this is. I promise.’ He added while placing one of his hands on his shoulder. ‘I’m right there. We can get out of this classroom whenever you feel like it.’

Tyler nodded for a few seconds, but jumped with surprise when someone laughed at him, loudly, soon followed by two or three students who all had their eyes on Tyler, or on their cell-phones. His whole body tensed, and his hands suddenly started shaking. The atmosphere was oppressive, and Tyler felt like he was being crushed by all the pressure and the heaviness he could feel at this very moment.

And then Mark’s phone started vibrating against the table, and when Tyler watched him take it and opened his eyes wide while reading whatever was written on it, it almost felt to him like his breathing stopped.

‘Oh, dear god.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think happened? 
> 
> THEY ARE FUCKING BACK AND THIS TIME IT'S FOR GOOD GUYS I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS NEW ERA.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Tyler's pov

Tyler’s heart was pounding against his chest and it felt to him like it was all he could hear. His heart. And the laughter of the other students. He couldn’t hear anything else. He couldn’t hear what his teacher was saying, he couldn’t hear the voice of his friend Mark who was trying to calm him down. He couldn’t hear anything else. The knot in his stomach was even tighter than a few minutes before, and Tyler felt like he was suffocating. When he looked up, his eyes first fell on Josh who was watching him with such a scared and concerned expression it only made him more stressed than he was.

‘What is it?’ He asked Mark and his friend turned towards him, hiding his phone with his hand.

‘Tyler, you really don’t need to know’ He said with a gentle voice.

‘What is it?’ Tyler only repeated, but this time, with much more anger.

‘I just don’t think you-’

‘For christ's sake, Mark, just give it to me.’

And his friend didn’t have time to do anything that Tyler had already taken his cell-phone from his friend’s hands. His teacher was still talking and this one still hadn’t seemed to realize that not one of his students were listening to what he was saying. Tyler unlocked his friend’s phone with shaky hands, scared to see what was awaiting him.

And as soon as his eyes fell on this message, his heart skipped a beat. It was only a few words. Only five small words, but it was enough for him to feel the tears gathering up in his eyes.

_‘TYLER JOSEPH IS A FAG._

_Photo credit: Josh Dun.’_

Tyler didn’t quite understand the second line, that until he saw that the message was followed by a picture, and Tyler frowned for a few seconds. It was blurry, and Tyler couldn’t really see what it was. But then, he zoomed in and that’s when he recognized it. And he placed one of his hands on his mouth, in shock. It was his handwriting. It was his journal. His private journal he had told Josh about a few days ago:

_‘Hi friend. I think I’m falling for a guy. To be honest, I’m kind of scared. Terrified, even. I’ve always suspected I was bisexual, but I was secretly hoping that I would never fall for a guy. It makes everything more complicated, now. I’m scared of letting people know. People from this high-school. From what Mark told me, they don’t seem very open-minded, especially the basket-ball team, they’re just a bunch of idiots. I’m scared to tell my family too, I bet my mom won’t be thrilled to find out that his son is bisexual. I guess I’ll tell them when I’m ready, they don’t have to find out right now. Anyway, his name is Josh? And he’s a complete douche. He keeps using these lame pick-up lines, it’s honestly pathetic. But he still manages to make me laugh, I don’t even know how. And he’s beautiful. And I’m sure he’s kind, deep down. I guess it’s just an attitude he likes to give himself. He’s still a douche, though. A likable douche, maybe.’_

Whoever had sent this picture had just outed him to the whole high-school. And even though Tyler couldn’t quite believe his eyes, the proof was overwhelming. It was Josh. Josh had just outed him to the whole high-school.

The muscles of his throat had tightened even more since his eyes had fell on this picture, and this time Tyler couldn’t hold back the tears from rolling down his cheeks. He had always been a fragile person, for as long as he could remember, but he usually never cried in front of anyone. It was a promise he had made to himself, not to seem vulnerable in front of anyone.

He instantly raised his head and his eyes caught Josh’s. This one was looking at him with tears in his eyes. They were filled with guilt and Tyler didn’t have to hear anything from him that he just knew. He knew it was him. But he couldn’t look away. He couldn’t take his eyes off him.

At first, he was looking at him with confusion. He couldn’t understand why he had just done that. He couldn’t understand what could have been his motivation, his goal, what he wanted to accomplish by doing such a thing. But then, this confusion slowly turned into anger. He felt humiliated. He felt betrayed, and he hated himself for falling for the other student so easily. Mark had been right all along, and Tyler just hadn’t been able to see it.

They looked at each other for a solid five minutes. None of them wanted to look away. Josh was crying at this point, he was crying silently, and Tyler could feel the anger boiling up in him even more. Because he had no right to cry, but his first basic instinct was to walk towards him and hold him in his arms. He still cared. He cared a lot more than he’d like to admit and he was fighting so much against himself not to show him the slightest sign of affection.

Tyler quickly wiped his tears with the sleeve of his jacket and tried to hold back his sobs. Every single person in this room was looking at him and even though some of them were still making fun of him, most of them were just confused.

‘Mark.’ Tyler only said, trying to regain his breath. ‘I can’t stay there.’ He suddenly added, and stood up, rushing towards the classroom’s door.

‘Tyler, what do you think you’re doing?’ His teacher asked before he got the chance to leave the room. He turned around and the facial features of his teacher instantly changed when he realized his student was crying.

‘I just… I just need to get out of here for a minute.’

‘Alright, hum…’ And he looked around, thinking. ‘Josh? Can you go with him?’

‘No!’ Tyler answered, loudly. ‘Not him.’

‘I’ll go.’ Mark said, getting up and following Tyler outside the classroom, not before giving Josh a dirty look.

Once in the corridor, Tyler let himself slip against the wall until he was seated on the ground, his hands going back and forth in his hair. His heart was still pounding against his chest and his tears didn’t seem to stop rolling down his cheeks. He didn’t even know how he was supposed to feel, he just knew his whole body hurt. He just knew his heart ache like never before, and that’s when he realized he was in love with Josh. He was in love with the other student and now he felt like his heart had just been broken into a million pieces.

He stayed there, quiet, for a few minutes, until he could feel someone taking a seat next to him. He didn’t have to look up to know it was Mark. This one didn’t say anything either, he just stayed silent, and placed one of his arms around Tyler’s shoulders.

‘I don’t… I just don’t understand, Mark. How could I’ve been so stupid?’

‘Tyler…’ Mark answered with a sigh. ‘You’re not stupid. You’re incredibly smart. And wise. You’re always seeing the good in people. Even the worse ones.’

‘Well, it’s not getting me anywhere, isn’t it?’ Tyler said, letting out a nervous laugh.

He could still hear his teacher talking at the other side of the wall. The class was about to end in five minutes and when Tyler saw Josh getting out of the classroom, he instantly got up and walked as fast as possible, so he didn’t have to say a word to him.

‘Tyler!’ Josh said, and Tyler knew he was running towards him. ‘Tyler please, I swear to god, I didn’t do this. I didn’t send this message.’ He added, placing one of his hands on Tyler’s arms to stop him from going any further. ‘Please. I… It wasn’t me.’

‘Don’t lie to me!’ Tyler said, turning around to face him. ‘Don’t fucking lie to me.’ He repeated, yelling. He didn’t care how many people could see them. He didn’t care how many people could hear him. He just wanted to tell Josh everything that was weighing on his heart. He just wanted to make him realize how wrong and disgusting was his behavior. ‘Only you and Mark know about this journal. And Mark would never have done something like this. Ever. So, don’t you dare try to clear your name by bullshiting me. You did this.’

At this point, everybody was looking at them, but Tyler couldn’t care less. Because he wasn’t the one at fault here, Josh was. And he knew that the picture of his journal would eventually get him into trouble, he knew he would receive so much criticism, but in that very moment, nothing mattered. In that very moment, he was only focused on this anger that was eating him.

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh said, after a while.

‘I don’t fucking care how sorry you are.’ Tyler instantly snapped back at him. ‘I thought we actually had something, you know.’ He added, with a lower voice. ‘I just don’t understand you, Josh. How could you do something like this? What were you trying to achieve? Why did you take this fucking picture?’

‘I…’ Josh started, and he didn’t have time to finish that Tyler saw Jason taking a few steps towards them, leaving the few students who were still watching the scene behind.

‘Yeah, tell him, Josh. Tell him why you took the picture.’ He said, but Josh was only looking at Tyler with tears in his eyes. ‘Tell him it was a bet.’

‘A bet?’ Mark repeated, sounding angry.

‘You didn’t date him for two months like we had bet on, but I guess I can-’

‘Shut the fuck up.’ Josh cut him off. ‘Go the fuck away, I don’t want your money.’

‘Is it true?’ Tyler said, out of the blue. His voice was soft. He was almost whispering. ‘Did you date me for money?’

‘No!’ Josh said. ‘I mean, yes. But only in the beginning, I… I know it was wrong. I know it all too well. I just… It was a stupid mistake, Tyler. You have to believe me. At first, I only did it because I wanted the money but then… Then, I got to know you, and… You’re such a good person, Tyler, and I know I don’t deserve you and I’m probably the last person you want to listen right now but… I like you. I really do. I loved every second I spent with you. Please.’

‘You should go.’ Tyler only said.

‘Please.’ Josh repeated, and he tried to place one of his hands on Tyler’s shoulder but this one instantly took a few steps backwards.

‘Don’t touch me.’ He said, and his voice was broken. Because it was so much worse than what he had expected. Josh hadn’t just outed him to the whole school, he also had agreed to date him for money. He had played with his feelings all along and Tyler couldn’t believe he had fell for it. He couldn’t believe he had been stupid enough not to notice anything.

‘Listen, I… I don’t care about the money, Ty.’ Josh said, gently. ‘I only care about you, and I wanted to tell you about the bet for so long, but I just didn’t want to lose you. I never wanted any of this to happen. I was just… I was just naive, and I know I was a complete asshole for doing this to you but don’t think for a second that I wasn’t sincere. Because I was. I still am. This doesn’t change anything. This doesn’t change how I feel about you. Please.’

And for a moment, Tyler found himself almost thinking that he maybe should give the other student a second chance. This one seemed so sincere and genuine Tyler didn’t even know what to think anymore. He knew he was disappointed. He knew he was angry. But he also knew he was completely and utterly in love with the beautiful man facing him, and he hated himself for still feeling the same way after everything he had learned about him.

Mark was still there, besides him. He was quiet, and Tyler loved that he didn’t try to interfere in their conversation. He knew this moment was between him and Josh, and no one else. He was simply here for emotional support, and even though Tyler only really wanted to burst into tears right there, in this corridor, he still held back his sobs and looked up at Josh, trying to sound determined, and confident, but as soon as he started speaking again, the pain and the anger got the best of him.

‘What do you want me to say, Josh?’ He asked, slowly.

‘I don’t know, I’m just…’

‘Let’s say it’s true. Let’s say you were sincere. Maybe you were, I can’t decide of it, I’m not in your head. But even if it was the case, Josh, what do you want me to say? Are you really expecting me to forgive you? To act like nothing happened? To act like you hadn’t just behaved like the biggest jerk in this high-school? Because I can’t do that, Josh. I can’t.’

‘I just…’

‘Now, you listen to me now, Josh.’ Tyler said, much louder than a few seconds before. ‘I was falling in love with you.’ He suddenly said, and he could feel a few tears rolling down his cheek. ‘You don’t get to play with other people’s feelings like this, Josh. That’s so… That’s so fucked up. Everything. This bet… This picture. Everything about it is so fucked up. And I can’t even begin to understand what fucked up reasons made you decide to use me like this in the first place but… I guess it’s just because I’m a decent human being. Unlike you.’ He said and spoke again a few seconds later. ‘Mark warned me, you know. He told me you weren’t a good person, and I knew I shouldn’t trust you. I fucking knew it. But I still gave you a chance because I wanted to form my own opinion about you. But I was wrong. I tried to be optimistic because I’m always trying to see the good in people, but I was wrong. You’re just one huge asshole. Nothing more.’

‘Tyler, I… Stop it. Don’t say that.’

‘Were you even planning on telling me the truth?’

‘Of course, I was.’ Josh said, crying. ‘Tyler, I love you. Please.’

‘Don’t fucking say that to me, now. You played with my feelings and outed me to the whole high-school, you don’t fucking get to say this now.’

‘I didn’t send this picture, Tyler. I just told you I like you, do you really think I would have done something like this If I did?’

‘I don’t know, Josh.’ Tyler said. ‘Would you?’

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh only repeated. ‘I’m sorry about the bet, I’m sorry about the picture, I’m sorry I outed you to the whole school, but… But it doesn’t have to be a big deal, Tyler, I-’

‘I think you should stop talking now, Josh. You’re only making things worse. You don’t get to say that. Maybe coming out isn’t a big deal to you but it was for me. This was mine. It was supposed to be mine. I should have been the one to decide when I wanted to come out. _I_ was supposed to decide where and to who I wanted to say it. This was mine. And you took that away from me.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh only said.

‘I know you are.’ Tyler answered, running one of his hands through his hair. ‘But what do you think would happen, Josh? You just can’t play with my feelings and expect me to forgive you. You’re the one at fault, here. _You_ ruined it. Now, _you_ deal with the consequences.’

And with that, he left. He walked towards the main entrance of the high-school, ignoring the looks of the students surrounding him. He could hear Mark’s voice in the distance, this one seemed angry and Tyler was convinced he was lashing out at Josh, but he couldn’t focus on anything else other than the realization that Josh had just betrayed him like no one did before.

He got into his car and then he just couldn’t hold back his sobs anymore and burst into tears, hitting the wheel with so much force he was afraid he might break it. He still had a one-hour class but he was sharing it with Josh and he didn’t have it in him to go, he didn’t have it in him to face him another time. He started the engine but realized he didn’t have the keys to his house, and when he grabbed his cell-phone from his jean’s pocket, there was already one message coming from his brother waiting for him.

_‘Tyler, I received the text, I can’t find you in the high-school, please tell me you’re okay.’_

_‘I’m okay. I’m in the car, I think I’ll go home for the rest of the day. Do you have the keys?’_

He didn’t want to go into the details right now, and especially not by texts. He wanted to sit down and take the time to explain the whole thing to him. But first, he needed to collect himself, try and take a step back. He just didn’t know if he was able to do that. He was so attached to Josh already, it just seemed impossible for him to get things into perspective.

_‘I don’t. But it’s open, I think dad is here. Tyler, I just want you to know that I’m here for you. If you ever need to talk. Do you want me to come home, are you gonna be okay on your own?’_

Tyler had tears in his eyes. It sure as hell wasn’t how he had planned to come out to his own brother but seeing this one seemed to be supportive and didn’t even question it meant the world to him. He wasn’t asking him a thousand questions, and wasn’t trying to impose his help either, he was just letting him know he was there if he ever needed to talk.

_‘Thank you so much Zack, it means a lot. I’m not feeling so good, right now, as you can imagine, but I’m gonna be okay. Don’t skip classes because of me, lil bro.’_

_‘Alright. Call me if you need anything.’_

Tyler was about to say something but decided against it, opening the conversation with his dad instead, to make sure he was home.

_‘Dad are you home?’_

_‘I am. Is something wrong, kiddo?’_

_‘It's just that something happened. Can I please come back home for the rest of the day? I’ll only miss one hour._

_‘Of course. Are you okay?’_

_‘Not really.’_

He had always been close to his dad and he knew perfectly well he wasn’t going to be able to hide the whole thing to him for a long time. Maybe he just needed to be honest, this time. He started driving and tried to be careful and to focus on the road, and only on the road. He parked his car on the pavement ten minutes later and took a deep breath, trying to clear his head before making his way towards the front door.

When he walked inside his house, his father was already waiting for him in the living-room and instantly got up when he heard his son getting in. Tyler looked at him for a few seconds and it’s only when his dad gave him a reassuring smile that he let it all go and broke down in tears once again.

‘Oh, honey, don’t cry. Come here.’ He said, instantly wrapping his arms around Tyler’s back. ‘What happened? Do you want to talk about it?’

‘I… He betrayed me, dad. All of it… It was a lie. It was a lie. Everything.’ Tyler only answered.

‘Tyler…’ His dad said, guiding him to the couch so he could sit down. ‘It's probably not my place to ask this but... Is this... Is this about Josh?’ And Tyler instantly looked up at him, confusion clearly shown on his face.

‘How do you…?’

‘I saw you. The other day. When you were sleeping next to each other. What happened?’

‘I… I don’t want to talk about it, right now. I want to forget about everything. I just don’t want to see him, ever again.’

‘Okay.’ His dad simply said, smiling softly at his son.

‘Thank you… For being okay with everything.’

‘Tyler, you’re my son. There’s nothing you could do that would make me love you any less. Right now, I’m simply mad at Josh for hurting you like this. Tyler, you’re such a sweet person. Inside and out. If he did you any wrong, then he simply doesn’t deserve you.’

‘Thanks.’ Tyler said, almost whispering. ‘I’ll tell you all about it, I promise.’

‘And I’ll be right there to listen to you. But right now, we’re going to watch Donnie Darko together, just like the old time. What do you think? I’ll make you some hot chocolate.’

‘That’s… That’s perfect, dad. Thank you.’ Tyler said.

He let his father kiss him on the head and when his phone vibrated against the couch half an hour later to let him know Josh was calling him, he looked at his father for a few seconds and ignored the call.

 

Right now, the movie was far more important than anything Josh had to say to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is!! What do you think about this chapter? I worked hard on this one, I really hope you like it! Please, tell me your impressions!
> 
> ALSO WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE NEW SONGS?? ARE YOU GOING TO BE ABLE TO SEE THEM SOMEWHERE?  
> Feel free to talk to me on Tumblr ( [living-in-cages](http://living-in-cages.tumblr.com/) ) if you want me to write something special or just if you want to share your excitement, or scream at me because of how good the songs are.
> 
> Also, when Tyler says something about the coming out being his thing to decide on, some lines are from Love, Simon (If you haven't seen it yet, go watch it, it's amazing!)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First few lines are from the previous chapter, because it was easier for me and for you too if you don't remember what happened before (which is, let's face it, very likely since I haven't updated in three months, sorry about that) :)

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh said with a low voice, lowering his head to the ground.

‘I know you are.’ Tyler answered, running one of his hands through his hair. ‘But what do you think would happen, Josh? You just can’t play with my feelings and expect me to forgive you. You’re the one at fault, here. _You_ ruined it. Now, _you_ deal with the consequences.’

He knew Tyler was right. He knew it all too well, and nothing he could say could make him look better. He deserved it. He deserved every single thing Tyler had said to him. This one was walking towards the main entrance of the high-school and for a short moment, Josh considered following him to try and apologize one more time, but Mark didn’t let him the choice and spoke first.

‘Don’t you dare.’ He said, looking at him with so much hatred Josh was honestly quite scared. ‘How could you do this to him?’

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh repeated once again.

‘It’s true.’ Mark added. ‘What he said. It’s true. I’ve always thought there was something off about you. Ever since you used these lame pick-up lines, I just… I knew Tyler shouldn’t trust you. But you know him. He’s always seeing the good in people, and he seemed so… He seemed so fond of you. I just… I could see he really liked you. So, I just pushed him to go for it. Because I thought maybe I was wrong. I’m always overly suspicious with people and… You know what? For a few days, I was almost convinced that I had misjudged you. I’ve still had doubts, of course, but Tyler was always defending you, so I thought maybe I was just being paranoid. But I was right. I was right, and you can’t possibly begin to understand how much I hate myself right now for pushing him to date someone like you.’

‘I’m sorry I hurt him.’

‘Yeah.’ Mark answered. ‘Save your breath, Josh. You’ve said enough. You leave him alone, now.’

The corridors were now empty, and Mark gave him one last glance before making his way to his next class. Josh let out a shaky sigh and let himself slide against the wall to sit on the floor. He stayed silent for a few seconds, but eventually raised his head when he felt someone sitting down next to him.

‘So.’ Pete said. ‘That didn’t go well.’

‘If you’re here to tell me that you warned me, you can piss off, Pete.’

‘Well I did warn you but that’s not why I’m here.’

‘Why are you here, then?’

‘Just trying to be supportive, I guess. But if you want to be miserable on your own, I can go.’

‘I’m an asshole Pete, you shouldn’t be trying to help me.’

‘You’re not an asshole.’ Pete contradicted him. ‘What you did was out of line. But it doesn’t make you an asshole.’

‘It does. You heard them.’ Josh said.

‘They’re angry, Josh. Tyler is angry. And he has every right to be, you know that.’

‘I know, I just… I was naïve enough to think that maybe I could get away with it.’

‘Listen, Josh, you knew it would happen. And I hate Jason for doing this to him as much as you do, but… There’s nothing you can do about it, now. You should back off for a while, leave him alone, and… And maybe there will be a day when he will feel ready to hear your part of the story.’

‘I just don’t know if hearing my part of the story would make him feel any better, Pete. No matter how much I love him right now, I still agreed to date him for money in the first place.’

‘Yeah, well… We all make stupid mistakes, I guess.’

‘You don’t.’ Josh pointed out.

‘Yeah, but that’s only because I’m smarter than you.’

‘You are.’ Josh only answered, with a small smile. ‘Thanks. For sticking around. I don’t deserve you.’

‘That’s true.’ Pete nodded. You don’t.’ He added, laughing. ‘Wanna hang out at my place, just the two of us?’

‘I think I’m going to go back home, but maybe tomorrow?’

‘Of course.’

‘You should invite Brendon, too. I don’t think he has anything to do with it.’

‘Oh, he doesn’t.’ Pete said. ‘He told me. And I think we can trust him. I just don’t think he realized how much this relationship actually meant to you.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Take care of you, Josh. And don’t be too hard on yourself.’

Josh stayed there for a few minutes, watching Pete disappear from his field of vision. He then placed both of his hands on his face, wiping away his tears. He had never planned for any of this to happen, but he knew, deep down, from the beginning, that this relationship wouldn’t end well. It was inevitable, but he still took his cell phone to try and call Tyler. It was a bad idea and when Josh heard his voicemail, he sighed and stood up.

He was about to make his way towards the main entrance of the high-school, but something caught his eye. It was Tyler’s stuff. His bag, and his notebook. There were all still in the room of their previous class and he looked at them for a few seconds before gathering everything in Tyler’s bag and carrying it on his back.

He was soon in his car, the radio on. He needed a distraction, something that could make him think about something else than the look on Tyler’s face when this one came into the conclusion that their whole relationship was a lie. And in a way, Josh knew he was right. It was indeed based on a lie, on this bet he had been stupid enough to accept. But the rest was real. This first date was real. The late-night conversations were real. All those sweet gestures were real, and maybe Tyler would understand that part, someday. At least, that’s what Josh was hoping for.

When he parked his car on the pavement next to Tyler’s house, he could see this one was already home and Josh stayed in his car for a few minutes, not knowing what he was supposed to do. Tyler didn’t want to talk to him, it probably even was the last thing he wanted at this very moment, he knew that. But Tyler was serious about high-school, more than Josh would ever be, and giving him back his bag was the least he could do.

He slowly stepped out of his car and made his way towards the front door. He’s been there a few times already, but Josh had never been so scared. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face Tyler again. He still knocked on the door, quietly, hoping that no one would hear him. But after a few seconds, he could hear footsteps approaching and next thing he knew, Tyler’s dad was opening the door.

‘Oh… Hi, Mr Joseph, I’m…’

‘Josh. I know. I remember.’ This one said, coldly. ‘I don’t think Tyler wants to talk to you, right now.’

‘I… I know. I just wanted to… His bag was still in the classroom, I just thought I would bring it back to him.’

‘Alright. I’ll take that.’ His dad answered, without saying more.

‘Thanks.’

Josh ran a hand through his hair and lowered his head to the ground. There was no doubt Tyler had told him about what had happened, and Josh felt even more guilty than a few hours ago.

‘I never meant to hurt your son.’ He still said before Tyler’s dad got a chance to close the door.

‘Josh, I still don’t really know what happened between the two of you, but you did hurt him. A lot. So maybe you should go, now.’

‘Yeah.’ Josh said. ‘Of course. I’ll… I’ll go.’

And with that, Josh turned around and got into in car, trying very hard to hold back his tears. Because he didn’t get to cry. This was all on him. Maybe Jason was the one who had sent the picture to everyone in this high-school, but he was the one who took it in the first place. He started this. And blaming his so-called friend wouldn’t get him anywhere.

 

* * *

 

 

‘Hi sweetheart!’ His mother instantly said when he stepped into his house 

‘Hi mom.’ Josh answered, letting go of his backpack. ‘I didn’t think you would be there.’ He added.

‘My meeting was cancelled, and I was about to clean the house a little bit. How was your day?’ She asked with a smile but this one quickly disappeared when Josh raised his head to look at her in the eye. ‘Are you doing okay?’

‘I just… Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.’ He said, taking a seat on a chair.

‘Alright.’ She said, sitting down next to him. ‘Is it serious?’

‘Yeah, I… I guess it is.’

‘What’s going on, sweetheart?’

‘I… I did something bad. I did something really bad, mom. I… I hurt someone.’ He said.

‘You hurt someone?’ Her mom asked, confused. ‘Did you get into a fight?’

‘No, that’s not… That’s not what I’m trying to say. I mean, I did hurt someone, but not physically.’

‘Oh… Then tell me, honey.’

‘I just… I’m just very scared you’re going to hate me for this, mom.’ Josh said, and his voice was a lot more fragile than he had imagined it to be.

‘Josh, there’s nothing you can possibly say that would make me love you any less. You’re my son.’ She reassured him.

‘Okay.’ Josh answered, nodding. ‘Well, there’s this guy… That I really like.’

Josh knew his family was open-minded and that they wouldn’t really have any problems to accept his sexuality, but he still had expected his mother to be shocked, or at least a little bit surprised, but he was wrong. Her face was calm and impassive, as if she had known all along.

‘What’s his name?’ Her mom asked, keeping the conversation going.

‘Tyler.’

‘Is it the boy you had to do a science assignment with?’

‘Yeah. Zack’s brother.’

‘Alright. Is he the one you hurt?’

Josh only nodded for a few seconds and lowered his head into his lap.

‘You know that I… I’ve never taken loving relationship very seriously, and… At the beginning of the year, we were… We were joking about it with Brendon. And Jason, too. And… It’s stupid. God, it’s so stupid but one thing led to another and we ended up making this bet.’

‘A bet?’

‘Yeah, they just… They just told me that… That If I could date someone for three months, then Jason would give me… He would give me some money.’

‘And you said yes.’

‘I…’

‘And this person was Tyler.’

Josh only nodded, ashamed.

‘But you fell in love with him.’

‘I did.’ He said, crying. ‘But now, I… This isn’t even the worst part, mom.’ He added. ‘When I was trying to… To hit on him, I saw his journal… He was talking about me, and about how he thought he was falling for me, and… And I knew it was bad, but I took a picture of it and I sent it to Brendon and Jason. But then… I just got to know him, mom. And he’s… He’s so sweet. And kind, and incredibly smart.’

‘It seems like you have it bad.’ His mom told him, smiling sadly. ‘What happened next?’

‘Jason… You were right about him. He started to criticize him and I just… I couldn’t let it go. We went into a fight, and… I really wanted to tell Tyler the truth, mom. I texted him, saying I needed to tell him something, I was about to do it at lunch but…. Jason. He sent the picture of Tyler’s journal to everyone in the high-school. And now… Now everybody knows, mom, he outed him to the whole school and… He discovered that our relationship was based on a bet and he’s… He’s so mad at me, mom, and I don’t know what to do.’

‘And where is he, now?’ His mom asked.

‘He’s… He’s safe. He’s with his dad, and probably with his best-friend, too, I don’t know. He had left his stuff in class, and I brought it back to him, but… He just doesn’t want to talk to me and I just… I know I can’t blame him for this, but… Mom, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt him.’

‘You should talk to the principal about it, Josh, get Jason expelled.’

‘It’s not going to make me look any better, mom. If he’s expelled, then I will be, too.’

‘What about Pete?’

‘Pete was the only one not agreeing to this. I guess you’re pretty good at reading people, mom.’

After a few seconds, a long silence set in and Josh could feel that his mom was trying to process everything he had just told her. She stayed quiet for a long time until Josh couldn’t take it anymore and started to speak.

‘I’m sorry, mom.’

‘I’m not the one you should apologize to, Josh.’

‘I know… I know, and I tried but he… He doesn’t want to hear anything. He thinks I was the one who sent the picture.’

‘Look, Josh… I’m not gonna lie. I’m disappointed. And, I’m really not proud of you for this, but… What is done is done. Now you should try to fix it.’

‘I… I don’t know how to do that, mom.’

‘You two should have a real talk about it. But for now… For now, I think you should give him some space.’

‘I’m sorry I acted that way.’

‘I know you are.’

‘No, mom, you… You don’t understand. I’m really sorry, for everything. For the past few years, I’ve been… I know I’m very difficult to deal with. I know you and dad often got frustrated with me. There are a lot of things I should have done better. A lot of things I shouldn’t have said. I know I haven’t been the best of sons. But Tyler… Ever since I met him, he… He brought out the best of me. He makes me want to do better. He makes me want to be better. And I promise you that I will be.’

‘He seems like a really nice kid.’ His mom said, smiling.

‘You would love him, mom, I know you would.’  

‘Maybe I’ll be able to meet him, someday.’

‘Maybe you will.’ Josh answered, with a sad smile on his face. ‘Now, let me help you with the cleaning.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writer's block sucks. That's all I have to say. 
> 
> I really really hope you're still out there, reading. If you are, tell me what you think, please :)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in three days, I'M ON FIRE

Tyler was laying down on his bed, huddled up under his duvet. It was a Sunday night. Usually, he would be downstairs, with his family, in front of the TV. Ever since they moved back in Columbus, Sundays movie nights had become a kind of ritual between them. They would eat, pick a movie – sometimes this step could take them more than one hour because it seemed that every single person of his family had different taste in movies- and then, they would sit on the sofas and armchairs placed all around their new television.

It was his little brother, Jay, who had asked them to gather in the living room to watch a movie the first time, and at first, Tyler thought it would only be a one-time thing, but months went by and it was a ritual he had come to appreciate. Back in Phoenix, they weren’t really used to spend some time together as a family and even though they were only sharing a movie, it still felt nice to have some quality time with them.

But tonight was different. His family was downstairs, but Tyler didn’t have it in him to join them. He didn’t have it in him to pretend he was fine. Because he wasn’t, and only his brother and his father knew about it. The rest of his family only thought he was feeling sick. Tyler was convinced his mom was starting to have doubts and lying to her was the last thing he wanted to do but he wasn’t ready to tell her everything just yet, not with what had just happened. Two days had passed since the journal incident and Tyler had skipped classes again on Friday. He wasn’t ready to face everyone just yet. He wasn’t ready to face the basketball team who would probably make his life a living-fell, but most importantly, he wasn’t ready to face Josh.

Tyler let out a long sigh, and let his head fall back against his pillow. He closed his eyes and for a few minutes, he hoped that all of it was just a bad dream and that he would wake up on his bed and get ready for another day. But then, he could hear someone knocking softly on his door and he raised his eyes, only to see his dad looking at him with a sad smile on his face.

‘How are you doing, sweetie?’ He asked, taking a seat on the chair next to Tyler’s bedside table.

‘Fine.’ He said. ‘I guess.’

‘I figured you might be hungry.’ His father added, placing a tray with a plate full of pasta and a glass of water on his bed.

‘Thanks, dad.’

Tyler sat up straight, leaning his back against the wall. He took a few bites and glanced at his dad, only to give him a confused look when this one seemed to hesitate over saying something.

‘What is it?’ Tyler asked.

‘It’s Zack.’ His dad said. ‘He told me what happened. He told me about this bet.’

‘Oh.’ Tyler only answered, lowering his head.

‘Tyler, you should talk to your principal about it. He can’t get away with it.’

‘Dad, it’s more complicated than that.’ He said.

‘How’s that?’

‘I just… I’m not sure if he’s the one who sent the picture. I mean, when… When we argued after class, he… He kept telling me he wasn’t.’

‘And you believe him?’ His brother asked, making Tyler jumped with surprise. He looked up at Zack who seemed to have been listening to them for a few minutes now. This one was standing against his door and was looking at him with a confused expression.

‘I think I do.’

‘He lied to you for the past four weeks, Tyler! How can you be so naive? The guy is a complete asshole.’

‘Zack.’ His dad said, raising his voice.

‘Well, I’m sorry dad, but he is, okay?’ His brother said with a loud voice.

‘Who do you think send the picture, then?’ His father asked.

‘I don’t know.’ Tyler said. ‘Maybe Jason, but it doesn’t matter dad. I can’t… I can’t tell the principal. If I do, he… They’re both going to be in trouble and… As much as I hate Josh right now, I just… There is a tiny part of me that still cares about him.’

‘Alright.’ His dad answered. ‘Are you feeling good enough to go back to school tomorrow?’

‘Well I can’t hide in my room forever, can I?’

‘Are you sure you don’t want to watch the movie with us? It still hasn’t started.’ His brother said, with a small smile. ‘We can watch a movie with Jake Gyllenhaal if you want. Or Jim Carrey?’

‘The Truman show?’ Tyler suggested.

‘The Truman Show it is.’ His dad agreed with a smile, standing up.

‘Dad?’ Tyler dared saying after a few seconds while his father was about to leave him alone for a while.

‘Yeah?’

‘Thank you. For being so understanding with everything.’

‘Always.’

‘Can Mark come over? Watch the movie with us. I just… I’ll feel better with him around.’

‘Of course.’ His dad said, before giving him one last smile and leaving his room.

Half an hour later, Tyler was seated on the sofa, Mark by his sides, and was trying to focus on the movie. He had already seen it a dozen times before, but he didn’t think he would ever get tired of it. He used to watch it every time he was feeling low. It used to get his mind off things, to clear his head a little bit.

Today, it wasn’t working. Today, his mind only seemed to focus on the other student instead. And Tyler was trying. He was trying so hard to forget about him or at least to think of something else for just a few minutes, but his mind was only playing their last conversations, over and over again. Josh hadn’t called him back since the incident and as much as Tyler didn’t want to admit it, he couldn’t help but to feel a little bit disappointed. 

‘You okay buddy?’ Mark asked, concerned.

‘I don’t know.’ Tyler said, trying to hold back his tears in front of his mother who was looking at him with a confused expression. ‘I just… I think I’m going to sleep. I’m sorry.’ He added, turning his head towards his dad.

He stood up and climbed the stairs, slowly making his way to his room. He let himself fall onto his mattress, cuddling up with his pillows. Some tears were rolling down his cheeks, but Tyler was too tired to even notice them. He was exhausted, but his brain was too busy replaying Josh’s words and over-analyzing their last conversation.

‘Tyler?’ A voice said, behind his door. ‘Can I come in?’

‘Yeah.’

Mark opened the door, quietly, and took a seat on the inflatable mattress his dad had placed in the middle of his room. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything, one was silently crying and the other was trying to look for the right words to say to his friend.

‘I hate him.’ Tyler suddenly said, with a fragile voice. ‘I hate him so much, Mark.’ He added, crying harder.

‘You don’t.’ Mark contradicted him, quietly. ‘And that’s why it hurts.’

‘But I want to!’ Tyler answered, raising his voice. ‘I want to hate him so bad, Mark. But he just… I really thought there was something going on between us. He…He told me things he never told anyone. It was special. He seemed so… Sincere. And authentic. He wasn’t lying with me, Mark. He wasn’t being… He wasn’t being fake. He was genuine. Or at least, I thought he was, and…’

‘Maybe he was.’ Mark suddenly said, cutting him off.

‘What do you mean?’

Tyler looked at his friends for a few minutes, and this one seemed to be hesitant, almost reticent, about saying what he had in mind. And he couldn’t quite understand why his friend seemed to stand up for Josh.

‘You’re seriously defending him right now?’ Tyler added.

‘I’m not.’ Mark clarified. ‘I’m really not. I still hate his guts but I’m just saying… Maybe he was. Maybe he was sincere. I just… As much as I despise him with every inch of my body, I… It just doesn’t make sense, okay? I mean, the guy is a douche but why would he get himself through all this trouble just to win this stupid bet?’

‘Because he wanted the money.’

‘Yeah but think about it. Jason said he would give him money if he was dating you for three months. Why would he send your journal’s picture to everyone in the high-school, now? Dude, he even refused 200 bucks today.’

‘I know.’ Tyler said, almost whispering.

‘Tyler, trust me, I hate myself for saying it, but I really don’t think he was faking it. What he did, accepting this bet, was fucked up, and I’m not trying to find excuses for him but…’

‘Maybe you’re right. But he still agreed to do this. And for me, that’s the most fucked up part about everything. It doesn’t make him any less of a jerk.’

‘Oh, I know that. Trust me.’ Mark said. ‘We still hate the guy.’ He added. ‘Noted.’

‘Thank you.’ Tyler said, after a few seconds.

‘Don’t mention it, Ty-guy.’

 

* * *

 

Tyler woke up with a knot in his stomach. It wasn’t even seven am yet and Mark was still fast asleep next to him. They needed to leave the house at 7:40am if they didn’t want to be late and for a few seconds, Tyler thought about waking his friend up but this one seemed so peaceful that he decided against it and locked himself in the bathroom to take a shower.

He was wondering if his dad would be nice enough to let him skip another day of school. He probably wouldn’t, Tyler thought and as much as he wanted to ignore his life's obligations and stayed in his bed the whole day in front of Netflix, he also knew he eventually had to go back, and face all those students. For the past few months, Tyler had found some comfort in being invisible in this high-school. There was something reassuring, about not being seen, about being an average student that no-one noticed. But this had changed. He wasn’t an ordinary student anymore. He was the kid whose journal had been seen by every single person around him. He was the kid who had been fooled by the most popular joke in this high-school. And now he felt exposed, defenseless, vulnerable, and naked.

When he entered the kitchen, Mark was already there, eating, with his two little brothers and his sister. Tyler took a seat next to his friend and took a few bites of his cereals, trying to put things into perspective. Maybe he didn’t need the approval of everyone in this high-school to start and feel confident.

‘Are you doing okay?’ Mark asked, once his car parked next to the main building.

‘I will be.’ Tyler answered.

‘You can call me if it’s getting too bad, okay?’ His brother said, stepping out of the car. ‘Anytime.’

‘Thanks, Zack. I’ll see you after class.’

Tyler gave him one last smile and walked slowly towards the main entrance of the high-school. He stayed silent and immobile for a few seconds and glanced at Mark who only smiled at him.

‘Okay.’ Tyler said. ‘Let’s do this.’ He added, taking a few steps in the main building.

But he could already feel it. The looks of the other students. He was trying to hold his head high, to make them understand that what had happened didn’t affect him, but it was a hard thing to do when he could feel every eye on him. Some of them were looking at him with a mocking smile, some with pity, and others with disgust. He could hear them talking, too. He couldn’t quite register what they were saying but he could hear it. This constant background noise.

Tyler took a few more steps until he could see a small group of students gathered around his locker. Still, he chose to ignore them, and made his way through the crowd. It’s only when he saw the three big letters written on his locker that he understood why everyone around him was laughing.

_F.A.G_

_Fag._

Tyler sighed and turned his head, scanning the group, trying to look for the person who could have done something so childish, until his eyes fell on Nathan, one of his basketball teammates. This one was staring at him with such a proud and self-satisfied expression that he didn’t need to look any further.

‘Does that make you feel better?’ Tyler asked. ‘Don’t you have something smarter to do? I don’t know, maybe, _get a life_? You’re 18, Nathan. Grow up.’

‘Actually, it does.’ Nathan answered. ‘It does make me feel better, thanks for asking. At least, now everyone will know you’re nothing but a poof.’

‘Alright.’ Tyler said. ‘But I wonder how it feels like, then?’

‘How what feels like?’ Nathan answered with a strong voice.

‘To have your ass kicked by a fag at every single basket-ball match.’ Tyler added, before closing his locker and making his way towards the next classroom. And it wasn’t in his habits to make fun of anyone, but while hearing the laughter of everyone around Nathan, he couldn’t help but to feel a little bit proud.

‘That was a good one.’ Mark said, after a few seconds.

‘Thanks.’ Tyler answered.

‘Save me a seat for next period, alright? And try not to kill Josh while I’m away, okay?’

‘No promises.’

His first period was science, and Tyler waited patiently for his teacher to open the door to sit in the first row, so he wouldn’t be able to see all his classmates looking at him. He could hear people sitting down in the class, taking their notebooks and their pencil cases out of their bags, but he was too busy reading a book to even pay attention to them. It’s only when he felt someone sitting down next to him that he raised his eyes, only to see Josh looking down at him with an almost scared expression.

‘Are you fucking serious right now?’ Tyler asked.

‘I just… I’m sorry.’ Josh said. ‘It’s the only seat available.’ He added.

Tyler looked around and let out a long sigh, looking away. He brought back all his attention to his book and hoped his teacher would be there soon, so he could think about something else than Josh’s presence next to him.

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh eventually said.

Tyler went on reading.

‘About what just happened.’ The red-hair student added. 'Nathan is a jerk.'

'That makes two of you, then.' Tyler said.

'I'm... I'm sorry I hurt you, Ty. I really am.'

‘Oh, so now you have regrets?’ Tyler snapped back at him.

‘Of course, I do.’ Josh said, his voice still calm. ‘Tyler.’ He added. ‘Of course, I do. You don’t deserve any of this. I was an asshole for making this bet in the first place.’

‘Finally something we can agree on.’ Tyler mumbled, still reading.

‘I knew it was a mistake, Tyler. Ever since you agreed to go on a date with me, I... I knew it was a mistake. But I’m selfish. And I didn’t want to lose you, so instead of telling you the truth, I lied. And then this lie led to another and before I knew it, I was stuck in… In this spiral of lies. And I know it doesn’t make me look any better. And I’m not trying to find excuses for myself. Because I know I don’t have any. I just want you to know that our relationship was genuine. To me, it was. Everything I said to you… It was real. Do you really think I put on an act this whole time?’

Tyler was still reading his book. Or at least, he pretended to be reading. In reality, his eyes were reading the same line over and over again ever since Josh started to speak, because as much as he wanted to hate him, he actually didn’t want to miss a word. And now the class was about to start, some tears were rolling down his cheeks, and Tyler was doing his best to hide them from the other student.

‘I don’t know, Josh.’ He still managed to say, trying to sound determined. ‘Maybe you’re very good at acting.’

‘I’m a shitty actor, Tyler.’ Josh answered.

 

Tyler went on reading the same line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading/commenting/leaving kudos, it means a lot. 
> 
> Hoped you liked this one :)


	16. Chapter 16

To Josh, it was pretty clear. November was definitely the worst month of the year. Nothing good happened in November. It was a fact he had come to learn throughout the years. It was a sad, dull and grey month. It felt to him that this month sucked the happiness out of the world. Dramatic, you would say, but it really was his state of mind as he entered the Burger King along with Pete and Brendon. It was a Friday, and November was about to start.

Tyler and him were no longer on speaking terms for a complete week, which was short, considering for how long Josh had lied to him, but it still felt like an eternity to him. He was still keeping his distance and trying to give him as much space as he needed but it was getting harder every day. Making eye contact in the hallways without being able to talk to him, seeing him in classes without being able to sit down next to him, Josh was getting tired of it. He wanted to speak to him, he wanted to hold an actual conversation with him, but Mark and his little brother Zack were always doing their best to keep him at a safe distance from the other boy. And it was understandable, Josh would probably be reacting the same way in a similar situation, but he wished he could have a chance to discuss and to get things straight.

‘Still thinking about Tyler?’ Pete asked, taking a bite of his fries.

‘I can’t get him out of my head.’ Josh admitted, blushing. It wasn’t in their habits to talk about their respective relationships but ever since Jason was out of the picture, the three friends had grown closer to each other. Brendon gave him a sympathetic smile and eventually spoke.

‘Josh. About that, I’m…This bet was my idea. If there’s someone to blame here, it’s me. So, I’m sorry. For that, and also for all the stupid things I said to you. I didn’t realize you were actually falling in love with him. I… I guess I can be pretty oblivious, sometimes.’

‘It’s not your fault. I mean it was a stupid idea, but I still agreed to do this.’

‘I guess we’re all pretty dumb, then.’ Brendon answered.

‘Let me correct you here, Bren. You two, my friends, are indeed, pretty dumb. I’m not. None of this would’ve happened if you’d just listened to me.’

‘You’re trying to say that you’re some kind of misunderstood genius here, Pete?’ Brendon asked, smiling.

‘Well, as a matter of fact, I am.’

Josh let out a small laugh and ran a hand through his red hair. The color was a lot paler than a few weeks ago and Josh was thinking of dying his hair yellow. He wanted something more vibrant and yellow seemed like a good choice.

‘Well… For what’s it’s worth, Josh. I really think he’s going to forgive you.’ Brendon said, after a few minutes.

‘I don’t know, Bren. He still seems very pissed about the whole thing.’

‘When was the last time you spoke?’ Pete asked

‘Science class. I tried to talk to him, but he didn’t want to hear anything.’

‘Radio silence til then?’

‘Well, he… He did mumble an aggressive ‘thanks’ when I hold the door of the classroom for him the other day. But otherwise, he blocked me on every social medias and doesn’t answer to any of my calls or texts, so… It doesn’t seem like it’s getting anywhere, really.’

‘Give him some time.’ Pete advised him. ‘I’m sure he’ll come around.’

But as much as Josh wanted to believe him, maybe his friends were simply being overly optimistic. What he had done was serious, and out of line, and he wasn’t sure if he truly deserved to be forgiven. They went on eating but it was soon time to go back to school for the afternoon. Josh shared his next period with Tyler and he was hoping to share a few words with the other student.

When he entered the main building, most students were already in class. He was a little bit late and the corridors were empty. He waved one last time at Pete and Brendon and made his way to his classroom, or more accurately, he was about to do so but stopped dead when he saw none other than Tyler, standing in front of his locker, with what seemed to be a wet rag in his hand. This one was trying to wipe off the insult Nathan had written a few days ago, but it didn’t seem to be working since Tyler was sighing of frustration a few seconds later. Josh watched him as this one leaned his forehead against the locker and jumped with surprise when Tyler hit the metal with his fists a few times.

It’s only when Tyler lowered his shoulders and burst into tears that Josh took a few steps towards him, slowly placing his left hand on his upper back, causing Tyler’s whole body to tense. This one suddenly looked up at him and stayed silent for a few seconds, as if he was thinking of something to say.

‘Are you okay?’ Josh asked, gently.

‘Well what do you think, Josh?’ Tyler said, raising his voice.

‘Tyler, that’s not what I mea-’

‘I just want it to disappear, okay?’ Tyler suddenly cut him off, and his voice was so fragile Josh knew he was close to break down in tears once again. ‘I can’t stand seeing this every day.’ He added. ‘You don’t know what it feels like, Josh. People used to see me as who I really was. And now I’ve just been categorized as the ‘school fag’. That’s what I am. I’m the ‘school fag’. People are seeing me in the hallways and that’s all they can think about. And it’s not fair. Because I’m so much more than just a sexuality. I’m so much more than just bisexual.’

Josh was taken aback. He had never thought Tyler would open up to him like that. And even though, he was almost convinced that this one didn’t mean to and that it definitely wasn’t a sign of sympathy nor did it show he was ready to forgive him, he was still happy to see that Tyler had just shared his feelings with him.

‘I get it.’ Josh said, after a few seconds.

‘You don’t.’ Tyler answered. ‘You can’t. Because you’re respected. And that’s the difference between you and me. People don’t care about me, I’m just -or rather I was- an average student. You’re basically the most popular guy in this high school. They’re almost scared about you. You don’t get shit every single day because of what had just happened. _I_ do.’

‘You’re right.’ Josh said. ‘I don’t.’ He added. ‘But let me help you, then? Please?’

‘I don’t know how you can do that, Josh.’ Tyler answered. ‘Look, I… I know you have regrets. About the whole thing. But I… I’m just not sure If I can forgive you.’

And Josh understood. Of course, he did. He had hurt him in the worst way possible, and Tyler had every right to still be mad at him, but Josh could already feel the muscles of his throat tightening up, making it harder for him to breathe.

‘Alright, I… I get it.’ Josh said, with a shaky voice.

‘Josh, I… I’m sorry but I’m not quite there yet. You hurt me. You lied to me. You used me.’

‘I-’

‘Don’t try to argue on this, Josh, you did. Maybe you realized it was a mistake very early in our… In our relationship, but you did use me. And when I look at you, it… It’s all I can think about. The lies. So maybe… Maybe you should stay away for a while.’

‘Alright.’ Josh managed to articulate, clearing his throat. He was trying to sound confident, he was trying not to show how much Tyler’s words affected him. But his eyes were already filled with tears, and he was staying there, a lump in his throat, avoiding Tyler’s eyes. ‘I’ll… I’ll back off.’

‘I just need some time, okay?’ Tyler asked, and his voice was so gentle that Josh could only nod. Then, Tyler was placing one of his hands on the back of his neck and for a few seconds, the tips of his fingers were playing with the roots of his hair and Josh couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks anymore.

‘Of course.’ Josh said, sniffing. ‘All the time you need.’

‘Thank you.’ Tyler said, moving his hand from his neck to his cheek.

‘No need to thank me.’ Josh only said.

Tyler gave him a small smile and took a few small steps backwards. He looked at him for a few seconds, as if he wanted to make sure that he was going to be okay, and eventually turned around.

‘I’m so fucking sorry.’ Josh added, wiping his tears with his right hand.

‘I know you are.’ Tyler said, with a soothing voice.

And as the younger student was walking towards their next period, Josh realized there was one thing he was sure of: Tyler was too good for him.

He stayed there, motionless, and watched Tyler’s locker for a few seconds before knocking on the door of his classroom. He was already fifteen minutes late and while his teacher was telling him all about the fact that he was a disappointment to the whole school, Josh only mumbled a quick sorry and took a seat.

His teacher was then busy explaining a text Josh had been supposed to read but he was too focused on his own thoughts. All of them concerning the same boy seated in the front row. His cheeks were still wet from the crying, and Josh quickly wiped the last tears with the sleeve of his jacket.

He got out of the classroom forty-five minutes later and as he was watching Tyler walking towards the counselor's office, his eyes suddenly fell on Nathan. This was standing in front of Tyler’s locker and seemed to be writing something, again. 

‘Alright, move.’ Josh said, determined.

‘Josh! It was starting to fade so I was only trying to make it more visible.’ Nathan answered, a proud smile on his face. 

‘I think you’ve made your point already. Now, piss off.’

‘Alright, alright.’ Nathan said, raising his hands as a sign of retreat.

‘And give me the marker.’ Josh added.

The other student frowned and looked at him with a confused expression before shrugging his shoulders and handing him the pen. Josh waited for him to disappear of his field of vision before bringing all his attention back to Tyler’s locker. He looked at the marker in his hand and smiled, seeing Nathan try to make the insult more visible had given him an idea.

He took the rag that Tyler had left above the lockers and tried to wipe off the G. It was hard, but Josh kept scrubbing the metal and after about ten minutes, it eventually started to fade. He then took the marker and got to work.

‘What do you think you’re doing, Dun?’ A voice said, making him jump with surprise. He raised his eyes and saw Mark, who was looking at him with a confused and suspicious look on his face. But then, Josh took a few steps on the side, and a small smile stretched Mark’s lips.

Because the G wasn’t a G anymore. It was a B.

_Fab_

‘That’s more like him.’ Mark eventually said.

‘It is.’ Josh answered. ‘Nothing was being done to make this stupid insult disappear. It’s the least I could do.’

‘Yeah.’ Mark only agreed. ‘Thanks for this.’ He added.

‘Of course.’

Josh gave him one last smile and eventually made his way towards his next period. He was late, again. And his history teacher found pleasure in humiliating him in front of the whole class because of this, but Josh didn’t mind. Or at least, he pretended he didn’t mind. Teachers didn’t like him. They never really did, and Josh had learnt to make peace with it. He only had to be patient enough to finish his last year in this high-school. Then, he would be free. Then, he would find a job in a music store and would eventually become a successful drummer in a band. Maybe it was a little bit naive but Josh knew he could make it. He had no plan B.

 

* * *

 

 

_The next day:_

Josh was home. He was sitting around the kitchen table and was trying to focus on an history essay he had to submit in two days. With everything that had happened during the past week, Josh hadn’t had time to start it, and was planning on doing so this evening. His computer was open, and he was trying to gather all the information he needed to have to make a good outline. Usually, he wouldn’t care much about getting a good grade but today was different. He wanted to try harder. Not because he wanted his teachers to appreciate him. Neither because he wanted to impress his parents. He wanted to try harder to prove a point to himself.

He didn’t plan on entering a university, but if he wanted to pursue his dream job, he needed to graduate first. It had always been the deal with his parents: He had to successfully finish his last school year, and then, they would consider giving him the choice.

He was about to start writing the introduction when he got a notification from his phone, warning him that he had just received a message. And Josh was trying to act mature about the Tyler’s situation. He was trying to forget him as best as he could, but when the other student’s name appeared on the screen of his phone, Josh’s heart skipped a beat.

 _‘I saw what you did with my locker.’_ The message simply said, but it was enough to put a large smile on his face.

_‘Thank you.’_

_‘Don’t mention it.’_

‘Who are you texting?’ His sister suddenly asked from the kitchen counter.

‘Hum… It’s Tyler, actually.’

‘I thought you were no longer on speaking terms.’ She added.

‘We’re not.’ He clarified. ‘He was just thanking him for something I did yesterday.’ He added. ‘It doesn’t mean anything.’

‘Still.’ His sister said. ‘There is some progress, right?’

‘I don’t know Ash… Yesterday, he asked me to keep my distance.’

‘He was still mad?’

‘Not really. Well I mean, I think he still is a little bit, of course but… He didn’t yell at me, this time.’ Josh explained, laughing. ‘He was being very sweet about it.’

‘See? It’s going in the right direction.’

Josh smiled at this. Her sister had received the picture too, and she had stayed mad at him for a few days before agreeing to listen to what he had to say. She was a good friend of Tyler’s brother since the beginning of the year and Josh knew it must have been difficult for her to handle the situation. He eventually looked down at his phone and sighed. There was no answer from Tyler and he then decided to put it back in his jean’s pocket. Tyler probably didn’t plan on keeping this conversation going anyway.

‘I hope so.’ Josh eventually said after a few seconds.

‘I’m sure everything will work out… Well, with Tyler, at least.’

‘What do you mean?’ Josh asked, confused.

‘Well, I talked to Zack and… Let’s say he’s still very pissed.’

‘Well, I… I can’t really blame him, can I?’

‘I mean… He was coming over very often and… I guess he kind of trusted you, you know?’

‘Yeah.’ He said, almost whispering. ‘I guess I… I didn’t really think of his family.’

For the past week, Josh had only been focused on Tyler. But it wasn’t only about him. It was also about his family. Even if Tyler eventually chose to forgive him, Josh still had to face his family, and the simple idea of confronting his father was making him sick to his stomach.

‘Don’t overthink this, Josh, okay? It’s going to be okay.’

‘Yeah… Maybe you’re right.’

 

_She was._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. I hope you liked it :)
> 
> Without going into details, I'm not feeling my best lately, and I was about to delete this whole fic but my good friend Bard convinced me otherwise. So I guess I just want to gift this chapter to her because she's always being so supportive.  
> Also wanted to thank you all, especially the 4/5 people who are always taking the time to comment. I see you. And I thank you very very much. You guys are awesome, and give me the motivation to go on. 
> 
> I hope you don't think it's rushed and that you understood what Josh did with the locker. (English is obviously not my native language, I think you've all guessed that by now)
> 
> See you next time, I guess. (You can find me on twitter: tdwntpt )


	17. Chapter 17

‘Tyler! Can you come here for a minute?’

It was the end of his basketball practice and Tyler was walking towards the locker-room when his coach shouted out to him. Tyler knew perfectly why his teacher was calling him. He wanted to talk about his journal. Every single one of his teachers had tried to talk to him about it but it was the last thing Tyler wanted to discuss. He was trying to put this behind him, but it was a hard thing to do when everyone around you kept asking you questions about it.

Tyler still nodded and ran towards his coach while the rest of the team was making its way in the locker-room. It wasn’t such a bad thing his teacher wanted to talk to him, this time, because basketball practices and especially taking a shower and changing clothes with his teammate had quickly become the worst part of Tyler’s week. Their new favorite occupation was to joke about his journal and calling him all kind of names, and Tyler was trying very hard to stay mature about it, but it was becoming harder and harder to ignore their remarks.

‘What is it, coach?’

‘Listen, Tyler, I know you must be tired of teachers asking you about it, so I’ll get straight to the point. We know what happened with the journal and I just wanted to make sure you were okay? Because if you’re being bullied because of this, Tyler, we-’

‘I appreciate your concern but it’s nothing I can’t handle.’

‘But is it, really, Tyler? I noticed Nathan was being-’

‘Nathan is a jerk.’ Tyler simply said.

‘Well, I’m not… I’m not going to disagree with you on that.’ His coach said, and Tyler let out a small laugh at this. He knew for a fact Nathan was not his favorite person, but he had never expected his coach to make this kind of remarks. ‘And how are you holding up? You know you can talk to us if you ever feel like it.’

‘I know.’ Tyler said, smiling. ‘I’ve already taken a few appointments with the high-school counselor.’

‘Alright.’ His coach answered. ‘That’s a good thing.’

‘Look, coach.’ Tyler suddenly added. ‘No offense, but you can’t help, alright? You’re all asking me if I’m okay, and I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy every day but you can’t help. This is just how high-school works. And that sucks but that’s just the way it is. What do you think you can do? Expel those who did this? Because it won’t get better. Other people will be there to take the reins.’

‘I understand that, Tyler, but it’s also important to talk about-’

‘And I’m talking about it. I’m talking about it to the counselor, to my parents, to Mark. Don’t worry about it, I can deal with it. The best I can do is to ignore it all and to not let it get to me.’

‘Right.’ His coach agreed. ‘Okay, you can go now, if you want.’ He added, giving him a small smile.

Tyler nodded and slowly made his way inside the locker-room. He was hoping nobody would be there, but it apparently wasn’t his lucky day because when he opened the door, many of his teammates were still showering and others were changing.

Nathan was giving him a weird look once again and Tyler ignored him and started to undress. He was about to get into his swimsuit when someone pushed him violently, making him fall on his behind.

‘What the fuck is wrong with you, dude?’ He asked, looking up at one of Nathan’s friends, but this one was only laughing at him.

‘You’re what’s wrong.’ Jaime only answered with a mocking smile.

‘That’s right.’ Nathan added. ‘Faggots don’t belong here.’

‘Yeah? Well, too bad, cause I’m not going anywhere.’ Tyler said. ‘And if you have a problem with me, then honestly you can go fuck yourself, Nathan.’

And really, Tyler should have known better. He should have known that answering violence with violence wouldn’t get him anywhere, but he couldn’t help it. He had to put up with the insults and the teasing for more than one week and he had enough. So when, Nathan’s fist collided with his jawbone, Tyler didn’t hesitate for a second and threw himself at him. But he was alone, and there were 5, and he knew he had little chance to beat them. Suddenly, he could feel two pair of arms pushing him against the wall, and next thing he knew, Nathan was punching him again. On the nose, on his right eyes, and one last time on his jaw.

‘What do you say, now?’ Nathan asked.

‘You know that…’ Tyler started. His whole face hurt from the pain, but he was still smiling. ‘According to this study… Homophobic people have a higher chance of being gay.’ He went on. ‘Which is pretty ironic, if you ask me.’ He added, with a laugh, earning him another punch.

After a few seconds, his teammates seemed to be satisfied and let him go. Tyler waited for everyone to get out of the room to slide against the wall. His nose was bleeding, and his vision was blurry. It was the first time they had hit him, and Tyler had been so far away from thinking they would come to blows. He had thought they just wanted to mess around with him, but this was an entirely different level of violence. This was physical violence and for the first time in a week, Tyler was genuinely scared.

He ran his two hands through his hair and silently broke down in tears. He could feel his heart pounding in his entire body, and the panic rising up in his chest. The tears were still rolling down his cheeks and his two hands were shaking. Tyler was on the verge of a panic attack, he knew that, and so he closed his eyes and tried to follow the advice his mom used to give him when he was younger.

‘In… And out.’ He said to himself, trying to catch his breath. ‘In… And out.’ He repeated a second time, and another time, and another time, until he could feel his respiration was back to normal.

He then stood up, not without any difficulties, and changed before making his way outside. Showers were mandatory, but it was the end of his day and he only really wanted to go back to his place. He opened the door of the locker-room and lowered his head to the ground, trying to avoid any eye-contact. He didn’t want anybody to find out he had just been beaten up by two of his teammates, especially his teachers. He knew perfectly well they would eventually be aware of it, but Tyler wanted to go home. He wanted to see his family.

He was tired, and his face hurt, but he still walked with a quick step, trying to reach the parking-lot as fast as possible. Some tears were rolling down his cheeks and he wiped them with the back of his hand when he heard a voice calling him.

‘Tyler!’ Someone said, and he didn’t have to look up to know it was Josh. ‘Oh my god, Ty, are you okay?’

‘I’m fine.’ Tyler only answered.

‘Ty… What happened?’ Josh asked.

‘I’m fine.’ Tyler repeated, with a strong voice. ‘Leave me alone.’

‘Tyler, I just want to help okay?’ He said, placing one of his hands on his shoulders.

‘Stay the fuck away from me, okay?’ Tyler suddenly said, louder.

‘Tyler, please.’ Josh insisted. ‘You need help. Who did this to you?’

‘You did this!’ He shouted. ‘All of this, Josh, it’s on you. You did this.’ He added. He didn’t mean any of this, of course, but Tyler was tired. He was frustrated and couldn’t think clearly. He was filled with mixed emotions and he needed to get them all out. Josh just happened to be there. ‘I was fine on my own, you know.’ He said, breaking down in tears once again. ‘I was fine on my own, and then you came into my life and you… You ruined everything, Josh. I was fine. I was fine.’ He repeated, running his hands through his hair.

‘Tyler…’ Josh said, taking a few steps towards the smaller boy to hold him in his arms.

‘I was fine’ Tyler repeated, burying his face into his neck and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. ‘I was fine, and then I had to fall in love with you.’ He said.

Josh only hold him a little tighter while one of his hands was tracing small patterns on his back. Tyler was still crying silently against him and being in his arms felt so safe he couldn’t bring himself to move away.

‘I hate you.’ He said with a fragile voice, bringing him a little closer. ‘I hate you so much.’

‘I know.’ Josh only answered, almost whispering. ‘I know’. This one started loosening his grip a little bit and as he was about to take a few small steps backwards to look him in the eye, Tyler placed his forehead on his shoulder, silently asking him to wrap his arms around his waist another time, which he did.

They stayed in this position for a while, until Tyler moved away, looking at Josh for a few seconds before turning around. But the other student stopped him from going any further by taking his hand in his.

‘Are you gonna be okay?’ Josh asked.

‘Yes.’

‘Maybe I can drive you home.’

‘No. I’ll be fine.’ Tyler said, and his tone was now much colder.

‘Are you sure?’ He asked.

‘Yes, Josh, I’m sure.’ He repeated, frustrated. It was weird, how his emotions were blending together inside him. He didn’t know how to act around anyone anymore. He didn’t know how to act around _Josh_. He wanted different things at the same time. One second, he would want to feel his presence close to him and the next he would want to be as far away as possible from the other student. One second, he would want to hold him tight against him and the next he would want to hit him with all the strength he had.

‘Alright.’ Josh said, knowing it was better not to insist.

Tyler turned around without giving him one last glance and got into his car. He started the engine and reversed before driving towards his house. Usually, he would wait for his brother to finish classes, so they could go back home together but this time, Zack was spending the night at a friend’s. Tyler ran a hand through his hair and bit his lower lip, knowing all too well how his parents were going to react. His father would get mad and his mother would freak out and start asking a thousand questions. Tyler could feel that his eyelid and his lip were swollen, and he was pretty sure his face was covered in bruises.

He slowly parked his car next to his dad’s and opened the door, silently making his way towards the front door. He stayed silent and immobile for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and entering his house. He lowered his head to the ground and put his bag on the couch.

‘Tyler.’ His mom said, and he looked up at her just for a few seconds. This one was seated on the sofa and seemed very nervous and worried about something. ‘We need to talk.’ She said, and Tyler didn’t need to hear more to understand what it was all about. _She knew._

‘Hum… Alright.’ He said and gave her a small smile. He was about to sit on the couch when his dad spoke.

‘Oh my god, Tyler!’ He said, hurrying to his side. ‘What happened?’ He asked. His mom looked up at him, confused and opened her eyes wide.

‘Nothing.’ He said. ‘I’m… I’m fine.’

‘Tyler, you’re obviously not fine.’ His father said.

‘It’s just… Some guys, they beat me up. After the basketball practice.’

‘What happened?’ His dad asked, again. ‘Why did they do that?’

‘What do you think happened, dad?’ Tyler answered, feeling on edge. ‘Why do you think they beat me up?’ He repeated, louder. ‘I’m bisexual, that’s just it, okay dad? They don’t need any more reasons than that.’

His dad stayed silent and took a few steps in the kitchen only to come back with an ice pack, handing it to his son. Tyler thanked him silently and placed it on his jaw, sighing of relief when it instantly eased his pain.

‘Tyler...’ His mom said. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ She asked, but to his surprise, there was not the slightest judgement in her voice. He had expected her to get mad, to blame herself or even to think that she had failed his education. But there was none of that. Her voice is calm.

‘I… I was scared.’ Tyler said, lowering his head.

‘Scared of what?’

‘Of your reaction.’ Tyler answered, almost whispering.

‘What made you think I would react badly?’

‘It’s just… Mom, you’re so religious. Faith is… Faith is everything to you and…It’s very important to me too but… Christians, they can be… They can be so narrow-minded, mom. I know they’re not all like that but… Sometimes I really feel like I don’t belong anywhere near the Church because I’m bisexual. I mean… You just have to listen to some of the priests… When we were younger, we used to go to mass every Sunday and this priest… I don’t know if you remember but he used to say so many horrible things about gay people. I just started to think that maybe this is how you felt, too. You never said anything to contradict him, mom. So, I just assumed you shared his opinion. I’m sorry.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart. I understand.’

‘It made me feel really bad, mom.’ Tyler added. ‘Hearing this kind of things every Sunday… It really made me doubt. I was scared, I thought I wasn’t how I was supposed to be. I started hating myself because of it. I… I denied my sexuality for so long, because I wanted to be ‘normal’. I…  feel better now. I mean, it’s still hard sometimes but… I’m not ashamed of myself, anymore.’ He said and stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking again. ‘I’m sorry for doubting you.’ He repeated. ‘I just… I was just scared you would be… You would be disappointed. And I didn’t want you to see me differently.’

‘Tyler, you’re my son. There’s nothing you can do that could make me think any less of you.’ His mom said, and Tyler couldn’t hold back his tears from rolling down his cheeks.

‘Thank you.’ Tyler said, softly.

‘There’s no need to thank me, okay?’ She answered. ‘Do you remember what’s my favorite quote in the bible?’

‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ He said, almost whispering.

‘Exactly. And it’s what I’m trying to do. To be tolerant, it doesn’t matter who you are, or what you look like, who you love… We have to accept others, because difference only makes us stronger.'

Tyler gave her a small smile and looked up at his father. This one was seated on a chair next to them and seemed to be in deep reflection.

‘Yeah. Hum… Like she said.’ His father eventually agreed, and Tyler let out a small laugh. ‘You already know how I feel about it.’ He added, smiling.

‘How did you… How did you find out about everything?’ Tyler asked his mom.

‘I bumped into Josh’s mom this afternoon… And she started apologizing about what he did to you. She told me everything.’

‘Is it Josh? Did Josh did that to you?’ His father said, pointing his finger at the bruises on his face. ‘Because if he did, he’s not going to get awa-’

‘What? No, dad, we… We talked about it. He… He would never do something like this.’ Tyler cut him off. ‘He… He saw me in the parking-lot, and he… He was really sweet about it.’

‘Who did that to you, then?’

‘Nathan. And some other guys in the basketball team.’

‘Tyler, you really need to talk about it to the principal, alright? This has to stop.’

‘Alright… I’ll… Maybe you’re right.’

‘I’ll go with you.’ His father said, placing one of his hands on his shoulder.

‘Thanks.’ Tyler simply said. ‘But I… I’m scared. I really don’t want Josh to be in trouble.’

‘You still like him. Do you?’ His dad asked.

‘I… I don’t know, I… I really don’t think he’s a bad person.’

‘Well, for what it’s worth, Tyler… Her mom told me he really did regret the whole thing. She told me he was determined to fix it.’

‘Yeah… That sounds like him.’ Tyler said, smiling.

‘You should talk to him, Tyler.’ His mom added.

‘I know. I just… I really want to forgive him, but I’m… I’m just not sure If I’m ready.’

‘Nobody’s asking you to forgive him, Tyler.’ His dad eventually said. ‘Nobody’s asking you to trust him either just yet. But if it’s something you want… Then, your mom is right. The best way to do that, or at least to head in that direction, is to talk to him.’

‘I guess I can give him another chance.’ Tyler said. ‘Maybe we can start over… As friends.’

‘That’s a good decision, Tyler. Start off as friends first, and then… See how it goes.’

Tyler only smiled at his mother and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her close. Tears are slowly rolling down his cheeks and one of his mom’s hands is stroking his hair. Tyler stayed silent and closed his eyes, trying to focus on the reassuring presence of his mother.

‘Chris… Are you crying?’ His mother suddenly asked, and Tyler looked up at his father, only to see him trying to hold back his tears.

‘I’m not.’ He said, smiling.

‘Oh my god, you totally are!’ Tyler exclaimed, laughing, but still stood up to give him a hug. What he didn’t expect was for his dad to wrap his arms around his back and to tighten the embrace and to cry a little bit more. ‘Dad are you okay?’ He asked, looking up at his mom who was watching his husband with a concerned look on her face.

Tyler had only seen his dad cry once, and that’s when his grand-mother had died a few years ago. He was the most secretive person in the family and that’s why he had no clue what he was supposed to do at this very moment.

‘Tyler, I know I’m not good with words and that we don’t talk about deep stuff very often, you and I, but I wanted you to know that I’m proud of you, alright?’

‘What are you talking about, dad?’ Tyler asked, smiling. ‘We do talk about serious things. Maybe I used to open up to mom a little bit more, but… Ever since the year started? You’re always the one I come to when I need to talk. And you did a damn good job every single time.’

Tyler took a small step backwards and smiled at his dad who was still wiping some tears with the sleeve of his jacket. He looked up at his mom and eventually made his way back to his room to let them have some privacy. He sat on his bed and looked at his phone for a few seconds before taking it in his right hand.

 _‘I’m sorry.’_ He simply sent to Josh and was about to type another message but smiled when this one answered him first.

_‘Sorry for what?’_

_‘About earlier. For lashing out at you and then leaving you like that.’_

_‘Tyler, stop it, you don’t need to apologize, okay? You did nothing wrong. I understand.’_

_‘Alright.’_

Tyler stared at the screen for a while, without typing anything. He didn’t know if he was supposed to say something else or if it was better to just stop the conversation for now. But Josh didn’t leave him the choice and sent him another text.

_‘Are you feeling better? Does it still hurt?’_

_‘It still does. But I’ll be okay.’_

_‘Thanks for asking.’_ He added.

_‘Of course.’_

He still had the words of his parents in mind, and he wasn’t sure what he was doing, but he still texted the next few words and sent them to the other student.

_‘Do you maybe want to grab lunch with me tomorrow after class? We could talk.’_

Tyler’s smile only grew a bit bigger when Josh’s answer instantly appeared on his screen.

 _‘Yes’_ It said. _‘I’ll be there.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? 
> 
> (I'll be pretty busy next week so you might have to wait a bit longer for the next chapter)


	18. Chapter 18

To say Josh was nervous would be an understatement. He was pacing back and forth in his room, trying to get his breathing patterns back to normal. Tyler had just sent him a text, asking him if he wanted to grab lunch the day after, and Josh had immediately answered, saying he would be there. But it was the first time since the journal incident that Tyler seemed to want to talk to him, and Josh was panicking. This was his only chance, and he didn’t want to mess it up.

As childish as it sounded, the first thing Josh wanted to do was to go downstairs and tell his mom all about it and ask her for some advice. She was always good at reassuring him, but his parents had decided to eat at a restaurant, just the two of us, and Josh had to look after his sisters and brother. He sat down on his bed and looked at his cell-phone for a few seconds, wondering if he should send Tyler another text, but decided against it and made his way downstairs instead.

Since his parents weren’t there tonight, Josh was supposed to cook dinner for his brother and sisters. Ashley was usually the one to do it because Josh was probably the worst cook you could ever encounter. He was trying, believe him. He was trying very hard, but it never seemed to do the job. He took a few steps in the kitchen and rummaged through every cupboard and after a few minutes and several sighs, he decided to bake cookies, that is to say the only thing he managed to pull off without many problems.

‘What’s up, bro?’ Ashley asked, while making her way in the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the chairs. ‘Am I dreaming or are you actually trying to cook?’

‘I am. Cookies. I’ll let you do the rest cause you all probably will get food poisoning if I do.’

‘That’s smart of you.’ She said, laughing. ‘Your cookies are good, though.’

‘Oh, I know.’ Josh answered with a smile, while mixing the butter with the sugar in a salad bowl.

‘Any news concerning the Tyler situation?’ Ashley asked.

‘Yeah.’ Josh said, sighing. ‘I’m grabbing lunch with him tomorrow.’

‘And that’s not good news because…?’

‘I don’t know, I mean… I guess it’s good news, yes, but I’m just… I’m lost. Things were easy and now I fucked up, I’m just… I’m lost. And I know I have no right to complain. Cause it’s my fault. Everything that happened… It’s my fault. It’s on me. But at the same time, I… I don’t know what he wants. I don’t know why he wants us to meet. Maybe he just wants to hear my side of the story, and never hear from me again. Maybe, he wants to be friends again. Maybe he wants something more.  And I don’t know what I’m supposed to say, how I’m supposed to act, and it’s freaking me out because I really don’t want to mess this up a second time and-’

‘Wow Josh, breathe okay?’ His sister cut him off. ‘Everything’s going to work out, I’m sure. At least, he seems ready to listen to what you have to say? That’s a good thing.’

‘Yeah.’ Josh agreed. ‘I guess.’

‘Just be honest. I’m pretty sure you’ll know what to say once you’ll see him.’ Josh nodded and smiled.

‘You’re probably right.’ He said. ‘Thanks, Ash.’

Josh went on cooking for a while and eventually put the cookies in the oven, making sure to check the cooking time before letting himself fall on the couch. He was tired. He was mentally and physically tired and the week had only just started. He switched on the TV and his smile couldn’t get any better when he realized an episode of the X-Files was being played. He was pretty sure he had seen it a thousand times before, but it didn’t stop him from watching it another time, despite the protest of his little brother who claimed that there was ‘more in life than this stupid show’. But was it, really?

He was fifteen minutes in the episode when he felt his phone vibrate against the coffee table, warning him of a new message, coming from Brendon.

_‘Holy shit dude, I bumped into Nathan on my way back home and he was bragging about beating up Tyler? Is it true?’_

_‘Yeah. I ran into him on the parking lot. His face was covered in bruises and his nose was bleeding.’_

_‘What the hell. This is so fucked up.’_

_‘Yeah, you’re telling me. I really hope they won’t get away with it.’_

_‘Did you talk to Tyler?’_

_‘Yeah. He might have asked me to grab lunch with him tomorrow.’_

_‘What? How? When? What happened? Please, elaborate.’_

_‘Well, it was kinda weird. I asked him if he was okay, and he yelled at me, but then he started crying? Anyway, we ended up hugging and then, he pretty much left without saying anything else, but he texted me like half an hour ago saying he was sorry to have acted that way and asking me if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Tomorrow.’_

_‘Okay, this is huge. You better win his heart back, so I can be friend with the cutest couple in this high-school.’_

_‘You’re crazy.’_

_‘Keep me updated, I want to_ know _everything, even the juicy details. Especially the juicy details.’_

Josh let out a small laugh at this and closed his eyes for a few seconds before remembering the cookies were still in the oven. He quickly got up and made his way to the kitchen, sighing with relief when he noticed they weren’t completely burnt. They even seemed good, and Josh couldn’t help but to feel a little bit proud of himself. He got them out of the oven and put a few ones in a box before laying the table.

After having diner with his family, Josh quickly made his way to his room and even though it was only 10pm, he was already asleep on his feet, and therefore didn’t wait any more seconds to slip under his duvet. He fell asleep almost instantly.

He woke up the next morning with the ringtone of his alarm clock. He turned it off as quickly as he could and allowed himself to close his eyes for a few more seconds, but what he thought was seconds was in fact minutes and it’s only when his dad barged into his room that he woke up with a start.

‘Josh! Don’t you have classes this morning?’

‘What? Oh shit!’ He said, noticing he only had 20 minutes left to get dressed, have breakfast and take his car to go to classes, which, when he thought about it, wasn’t a bad thing because he would have stared at his wardrobe for a solid ten minutes before being able to choose the kind of clothes he was supposed to wear to grab lunch with Tyler. Josh usually didn’t care about this kind of things, but the other student had this weird ability to make him feel weak at his knees.

He grabbed one of his ripped skinny jeans and a white tee-shirt with a black jumper before taking a quick shower. He then hurried to get outside and start his car, not taking the time to say goodbye to his parents.

Ten minutes later, he was running through the hallway and managed to get into his classroom without his teacher noticing. The class hadn’t started yet and only one seat was still free, the one next to Tyler’s. This one was usually seated on his own ever since the picture of his journal was spread among all the students. For the most part, people had moved on, but they still seemed to be reluctant to be connected to him in any way.

‘Can I sit there?’ Josh asked and felt the urge to cry when Tyler looked up at him. This one had a black eye, his lip was cut and even though he had visibly tried to cover the marks on his face with make-up, you could still see a big bruise all the way from his jaw to his right ear.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler said, almost whispering. ‘Of course, you can.’

‘How are you feeling?’

‘Not great.’ Tyler answered with a small smile. ‘Obviously.’

‘Yeah. That was a dumb thing to ask, I guess. Sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ Tyler reassured him. ‘It’s nice to see that there’s still someone who cares, I guess.’

‘Of course, I do.’ Josh said and was about to add something else when the teacher spoke and started the class.  He went quiet for a few minutes but eventually raised his head a second time. ‘Are you… You should say something, you know? They can’t get away with it.’

‘Yeah, I… I know. My dad is going to call the principal to fix an appointment.’

‘Good.’ Josh said. ‘That’s good.’

‘We’re still… We’re still grabbing lunch together, right?’ And Josh couldn’t stop a small smile from stretching his lips when he heard Tyler’s hopeful tone.

‘We definitely are.’ He said, still smiling. ‘I’ll meet you at your locker.’

Tyler only nodded, and Josh then tried to focus on what his teacher was saying. He had promised himself he would try harder and now was the moment to prove it. His grades were incredibly low since the beginning of the year and Josh knew his results wouldn’t get better just like that. He needed to do his bit. And he was determined to do so, the last thing he wanted was to spend an additional year in this high-school.

Second period went by faster than he imagined and before he knew it, he was already leaning against Tyler’s locker, waiting for the other student to get out of his classroom. Saying he was completely at ease would be a lie, he wasn’t, but the conversation he had with Tyler during their first period had put his mind at rest.

Tyler was the first one to leave the classroom and he was walking with his head down as if he wanted to avoid being recognized. Ever since this picture had been spread, Josh could see Tyler was trying to keep being his sassy and sarcastic self, but he couldn’t help but to have noticed a radical change in his personality. He was more sensitive and quieter, almost as if he was constantly on edge, which was completely normal, considering the current atmosphere of the high-school.

‘Hey.’ Tyler said, with a small smile. ‘Where do you want to eat?’

‘Taco Bell?’

‘Taco Bell it is.’

Josh made his way outside the main building and stayed quiet for a while, wondering what he was supposed to say at this very moment. Tyler was quiet, too, and Josh was dying to get in his head to know what he was thinking about. They eventually found themselves next to the fast food and Josh followed Tyler inside, getting his wallet out of his bag.

‘It’s on me. You can try and find a table if you want.’ Josh said, smiling.

‘Josh, I can pay for my food.’ Tyler pointed out.

‘I know you can. But I want to, alright?’

‘Josh, I… You do know it’s not a date, right?’

‘I know.’ He confirmed. ‘Again, let me pay.’

‘Alright.’ Tyler gave in. ‘I’ll be right there.’

Josh watched him as he was taking a seat at a table in the corner of the fast-food and waited patiently for their orders. He was glancing at the other student from time to time and as much as he felt lucky to finally have the opportunity to relate his part of the story, he only really wanted to get out of this fast-food and run until his legs hurt. And it’s as if the universe itself was plotting against him because a few minutes late, he already had a tray full of food in his hands. There was no going back.

He slowly walked towards Tyler and sat down in front of him, giving him a small smile before bringing all his attention back to the burrito facing him.

‘So.’ Tyler started and the knot in Josh’s stomach tightens a little bit more. ‘I gave this whole thing a lot of thoughts.’ He added.

‘You… You did?’ Josh

‘It’s all I can think about lately.’ Tyler clarified. ‘I just… Staying mad at you… It won’t get me anywhere, and I believe you when you say you have regrets, but… I just can’t bring myself to forgive you just yet. I thought of… I thought of everything you told me and… There are so many things that don’t make sense to me. You said you realized this bet was a stupid idea since we went on this date but… But yet, you took a picture of this journal? And I showed it to you only a few days before it all went down. I just… I just want to understand. I want to understand you. I want to hear your part of the story. Do you think you could do that?’ Tyler asked and there wasn’t the slightest judgement in his voice. He was genuinely asking, and Josh was suddenly wondering how he got so lucky.

‘Of course. Ask me some questions, if you want.’

‘When did you come up with this bet?’

‘First day of school. Brendon came up with it.’

‘Why me?’

‘I don’t really know… They decided it would be you. Maybe because you were the new kid. I just went along with it without thinking much. Pete warned me, though. But I didn’t listen. I should have… Anyway, I had to date you for two months, and I needed to do that by hitting on you with the worst pick-up lines.’

‘God, this is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard in my life.’ Tyler said. ‘You’re such a bunch of idiots.’

‘Yeah, we are…I… I was.’ Josh agreed. ‘And if I… If I managed to do that, Jason would give me 500 bucks.’

‘500 bucks?’ Tyler repeated with wide eyes. ‘That’s… That’s a lot.’ He added, emotionless. ‘What happened next?’

‘Well, I… I started annoying you with these lame pick-up lines.’

‘There were really lame. I’ll give you that.’ Tyler said.

‘When you invited me over for this science assignment… Your journal was wide open on your bed and… I saw my name written on it. I read the page, took a picture, and sent it to Jason and Brendon. I knew it was a terrible idea, but I guess… I guess I just really wanted the money.’ Josh added, choosing to be honest. ‘Then, we… We started dating and I just… I felt trapped. I knew you would never forgive me if I was telling you the truth. So, I lied, and decided to forget about the bet. Pete kept saying I would regret this, but I didn’t listen.’

‘Who sent the picture to everyone in the high-school? Is it Brendon?’

‘No. Jason did. Brendon feels awful about the whole thing. Jason kept judging you and calling you names and one day I just… I just lost it. I punched him in the face and that’s when I realized I needed to tell you everything. But Jason beat me to it and sent your journal to everyone.’

‘Alright, I… I guess it makes more sense, now. I mean, it still doesn’t make any sense cause I don’t understand how you could’ve been so dumb but… Yeah.’

‘Tyler, I’m sorry.’ Josh said. ‘I really am. I just… I know you’re so much better than me and I certainly don’t deserve you, but… I’m in love with you. And I’m not saying that to… To try and get you back because I know I will probably never have another chance with you and that’s okay but I just… I’m in love with you. I just wanted you to know that.’

For a few seconds, Josh thought this one was about to get mad at him, but then his face softened, and a ghost of a smile stretched his lips. Still, he stayed quiet and Josh brought back his attention to his food.

‘Have your dad made an appointment with the principal already?’

‘Yeah, I… We’re seeing him after class.’

‘How are you feeling about this?’ Josh asked, with a gentle voice.

‘I don’t know, I mean… I don’t want Nathan and the others to get away with it but at the same time I just… I just don’t know if the principal will be able to do something about it.’

‘I’m pretty sure he’s going to expel them, Tyler.’ He answered. ‘You should explain everything, you know. Explain the whole thing.’

‘I don’t want you to be in trouble.’ The other student admitted, lowering his head to the ground.

‘Tyler, I did something stupid, and if I get punished for it, then so be it. I deserve it. Tell him the whole thing, okay?’

‘Okay.’ Tyler agreed. ‘We should head back? It’s almost time.’ He added, and Josh nodded. 

'Oh, wait.' He said, taking the box of cookies inside his bag. 'I baked cookies last night. I brought you some. They're pretty good.' 

'Thanks.' Tyler answered with a smile. 'That's sweet.' 

Josh only shrugged his shoulders and stood up, throwing everything away before following Tyler outside the fast-food.

‘Tyler, before we go back, I just… We’re good, right?’

‘Yeah.’ Tyler answered after a few seconds. ‘We’re good.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know shit about american high-school so if it seems weird, that's completely normal and I'm sorry. Also, I feel like this chapter isn't so good, but I hope you liked it.  
> But let's be real, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT TRENCH? Any fav songs? (I would say Morph, Neon Gravestones, and The Hype. Also I die every single time he says 'Can you build my house with pieces? I'm just a chemical' in Chlorine). Excited to read what you think about these songs :)
> 
> You can scream at me on Twitter if you want (same username)


	19. Chapter 19

‘That’s good you came here to talk, Tyler.’

Tyler had just told the principal about the situation. He had told him everything, from the day he discovered that his ‘love story’ was based on a bet, to the moment when he got beaten up by his teammates. It hadn’t been an easy thing to do, especially in front of the headteacher, but it had helped him put things into perspective.

‘Well, we didn’t come here just to talk, we expect you to sort it out. The kids who did this can’t get away with it.’

‘Dad...’ Tyler started.

‘And we’re going to take actions, Mr Joseph, I assure you.’ The principal said. ‘We’ll get in touch with their parents.’

‘Can I ask you something?’ Tyler asked, looking up at him.

‘Anything.’ He said.

‘Don’t expel him.’ He said. ‘Josh. Don’t expel him. Please?’ He added.

The principal stayed quiet for a few seconds, looking at him with a serious expression, but eventually gave him a small smile and nodded.

‘We will still get in touch with his parents to make it clear that we won’t accept this kind of behaviors in our high-school no more, but… If that’s what you want, then of course. We won’t expel him.’

‘Well, it certainly doesn’t look good for your reputation either, isn’t it?’ Tyler’s dad said a few seconds later.

‘Dad.’ Tyler repeated a second time. ‘Don’t push it.’

‘Tyler, if you decided to forgive Josh, then that’s fine with me but the ones who did this to you?’ He said, pointing at his face. ‘I want real actions. Concrete ones.’ His dad added. ‘A superficial meeting with the parents just to make it look like you care isn’t enough, alright?’

‘I’ll see what I can do.’ The principal said, looking embarrassed.

‘You certainly will.’ His dad answered, standing up.

Tyler sighed and waited for his dad to nod amiably at the principal and get out of his office. Only then, he looked up at the headteacher.

‘I’m sorry for that.’ Tyler said.

‘It’s completely fine.’ He answered with a smile. ‘Just know that we’re taking it very seriously.’

‘Alright.’ Tyler nodded. ‘Thank you for your time.’ He added while getting up and joining his father in the hallway.

This one wasn’t there, and Tyler looked around for a few seconds before shrugging his shoulders and making his way outside. He walked towards his car and his eyes eventually fell on his dad who seemed to be waiting for him on a bench. He shook his head disapprovingly but still took a seat next to him.

‘You didn’t have to do that.’ He eventually said.

‘I know.’ His father answered. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s fine.’

‘There’s someone over there who seemed to be wanting to talk to you.’ His father added, looking up at Josh.

This one was leaning against his car and gave him a small smile before lowering his head to the ground. He seemed nervous and Tyler was pretty sure it was due to his dad’s presence, which was, let’s face it, easily understandable.

‘Go ahead.’ His dad said. ‘I’ll be in the car.’

Tyler only nodded and stood up, making his way towards Josh. This one was wearing a beanie but he could still see some strands of his vibrant red hair poking out. Once at his level, he stayed quiet and only leaned against his car next to him, waiting for him to speak. But this one was unusually silent and Tyler eventually spoke first.

‘Were you waiting for me?’ He asked.

‘Yeah.’ Josh said. ‘I just wanted to know how it went.’

‘It was fine. I guess. You and your parents are going to be convoked though. I’m sorry. I asked him not to expel you.’

‘You didn’t have to do that, Tyler.’ Josh said.

‘I know. I wanted to.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Don’t mention it.’ Tyler answered, standing up straight. ‘You’re a douche but you don’t deserve to be expelled.’ He said with a playful tone and smiled when Josh let out a small laugh. ‘Well, I should go. My dad is waiting for me in the car.’ He added, taking a few steps towards the other boy to embrace him for a few seconds.

‘Take care of yourself, yeah?’ Josh asked.

‘Don’t worry about it.’ Tyler said. ‘I’m a tough guy.’

‘You are.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, douchebag.’ Tyler added, taking a few more steps backwards.

‘Is this how you’re calling me now?’

‘Well at first, I wanted to go with ‘buttface’ but I changed my mind.’

‘Charming.’

Tyler smiled and waved at him before turning around. He stepped into his car to join his dad who instantly started the engine. This one was quiet but knowing his dad, Tyler was convinced that it was only a matter of seconds until he would ask him about his relationship with Josh. A few minutes went by and Tyler frowned when he noticed that it didn’t seem like his father was about to say something. His eyes were still focused on the road and on the traffic and Tyler eventually sighed and stopped the music to speak.

‘Aren’t you going to ask me what’s going on with Josh?’ He asked.

‘Do you want me to ask you about him?’

‘No!’ Tyler instantly said. ‘I mean, yes! I don’t know.’ He added.

‘Okay then.’ His dad answered, without saying anything else.

‘That’s it?’ Tyler looked up at him.

‘Well, you’re not sure.’ His father added. ‘I don’t want to invade my son’s privacy.’

‘You’re acting very weird.’ Tyler eventually said. ‘And actually, I do. I do want you to ask me about him. Because I know you don’t like him, alright? I know you don’t want me to forgive him and that you’re still mad at him for the whole thing.’

‘That’s not true.’ His father answered, sighing.

‘It is.’ Tyler contradicted him. ‘It is and you and I both know that. But it’s my life, alright? I listened to what he had to say and I… I decided to give him another chance. As friends. And you need to accept that because I don’t want you and Zack to treat him like shit if he ever comes over again.’

‘Language, Tyler.’

‘Oh come on, dad, don’t try and change the subject.’ He exclaimed. ‘I know he messed up, okay? And I need you to know that I didn’t rush into things. I’m capable of taking my own decisions. It’s on me and it doesn’t concern you.’

‘I know that, son, that’s why I didn’t say anything.’ His father answered. ‘You’re a big boy. And I’m not gonna lie, I’m not really thrilled by the idea of seeing this kid at our place but… You’re smart, and if you really do like him, then I-’

‘I do.’ Tyler said.

‘What?’

‘I like him.’ He explained. ‘I… I might still be in love with him, even.’ He added after a few seconds, anxious to witness his father’s reaction.

‘Okay.’ This one only said. ‘Then please, be careful.’

‘I will.’ Tyler answered, letting out a sigh of relief when his dad parked the car in front of his house. He stopped the engine and even though Tyler felt like this conversation was not completely over, he couldn’t bring himself to say another word. Instead, he just smiled at his father and thanked him with a low voice before making his way to his house. He told his mom about the meeting with the principal and answered her questions. His father joined him a few minutes later and Tyler let him take the reins.

Tyler was confused. He was glad his dad seemed to be ready to give Josh another chance but he was also mad at him for not pushing him to reconsider it. Because he himself wasn’t sure if deciding to forget about the whole thing and starting fresh was the right thing to do. He was still hurt and a tiny part of his brain just couldn’t manage to let this go. But Josh also seemed to be a mind reader because the next thing Tyler knew, his phone was ringing to let him know the red-haired boy had just texted him.

‘ _Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to me today. It means a lot. And I know you said we were good, but if you ever need some space sometimes because you think this is going too fast or just because you want to have some alone time to clear your head, then just say the word, and I’ll be gone… And back only when you’ll feel like it. Just know this relationship is very important to me and that I will do whatever it takes to make it work.’_

And really, Tyler was trying very hard to contain his emotions but it was hard considering that Josh always seemed to be capable to make his doubts disappear. Tyler tried to suppress his smile for a few seconds but when a second message came up on his phone’s screen, he lowered his head and a huge grin instantly stretched his lips.

‘ _I love you tons.’_ It only said.

‘ _Thanks for saying this.’_ Tyler simply answered. _‘_ _I missed you.’_ He didn’t know if he was supposed to send these three words but luckily, his body seemed to take his decisions for him because his finger had already pressed the ‘sent’ button before he could come up with an answer.

‘ _I missed you too.’_

‘ _I’m about to eat your cookies. I hope they’re good.’_

‘ _Oh trust me, they are.’_

‘ _You’re pretty full of yourself, aren’t you?’_

‘ _Nah. I’m a terrible cook but these cookies are simply the best.’_

Tyler let out a small laugh at this message and opened the box Josh had given him this afternoon. He was about to take one cookie to eat it when a small piece of paper escaped from the box and landed on the ground. Tyler frowned and bent down to catch it and his smile only grew bigger when his eyes fell on these few words.

‘ _Tyler, I’m sorry for everything I did to you, and I’m sorry those guys took it out on you. Here are some cookies to make you feel better xx’_

Tyler took one in his hands and bit into it, opening his eyes wide the second after. Josh was not joking. It was probably the best cookies he had ever eaten in his entire life and this was an achievement considering Tyler himself had tried at least a hundred different recipes.

He was about to text Josh when his mother opened his door and took a seat on his desk’s chair. She kept running one of his hand through her hair and Tyler knew it was a sign of uneasiness. The whole situation affected her too, and he wished there was something he could do to put her mind at rest.

‘Your father told me you talked to Josh?’ She asked. She surely wanted to think about something else than the meeting and the consequences it could have once his teammates would know he denounced them to the headteacher.

‘Yeah. We grabbed lunch together. I asked him some questions and he told me everything I wanted to know.’

‘That’s a good thing.’ His mom said with a smile. ‘How did it go? Did you make up your mind about what you wanted to do?’

‘Well I… I think we’re in good terms but… I still have some doubts you know? And I guess it’s normal because what he did was really wrong and that’s not something I’m going to forget overnight. But he knows that and he’s being very understanding.’

‘He has to.’ His mom clarified and Tyler only nodded.

‘I guess.’ He said. ‘Sometimes, it feels weird, too. It’s not the same, in a way. I guess I’m just not quite there yet.’

‘Give it some time.’ His mother advised him. ‘And maybe meeting his friends would help? It could help you being more comfortable around him if it’s not just the two of you. And it’s also a good way to see if he’s really being genuine. He won’t be able to lie in front of his friends forever.’

‘Yeah.’ Tyler only said. ‘That’s not a bad idea.’ He added. ‘Although I’m pretty sure he’s being sincere.’

‘No one would put themselves into so much trouble.’ His mom said and Tyler let out a small laugh.

‘You’re probably right.’ He said. ‘Thanks mom.’

‘Anytime.’ She answered, giving him another smile. ‘Can I get a cookie for being a cool mom?’

‘Of course.’ He told her, handing her the box. ‘Josh baked them.’

‘They’re really good.’

‘They are.’

‘You shouldn’t be eating in your room, by the way.’ She added before leaving his room.

‘Sorry!’ He yelled.

He shoved another cookie in his mouth and looked at his phone for a while before nodding to himself. He stood up and locked himself in his room. Then, he sat down on his bed and took his phone to call Josh who instantly picked up.

‘Hey!’ He said. ‘What’s up?’

‘I’m eating one of your cookies. They’re really good.’

‘Well, I told you.’ Josh said. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Better. Using an ice pack on the bruises. It helps a bit with the swelling and the pain.’

‘Alright.’ Josh answered. ‘Let me know if you need anything.’

‘Well, actually, there’s something that could help.’

‘Anything.’

‘If it’s not too much to ask, though.’

‘I’m pretty sure it’s not.’ He said with a gentle voice.

‘Could you bake me more cookies?’ Tyler asked, and smiled when Josh let out a small laugh.

‘Sure thing, Ty-guy. I can make that happen.’

‘I was also wondering if you wanted to eat with me and Mark tomorrow? Pete and Brendon could come too.’ He said.

‘Of course.’ Josh instantly agreed. ‘I’d love that.’

‘Yeah. I just… I figured out it could help you know. Get things straight.’

‘It’s a great idea.’

Tyler only nodded even though Josh couldn’t see him and they both stayed silent for a few seconds until the loud voice of Tyler’s dad echoed through the house.

‘Dinner is ready!’

‘Oh.’ Josh chuckled. ‘I guess I’ll go, then.’

‘Yeah. See you tomorrow?’

‘See you. Take care, Tyler.’

And with that, he hanged up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this story is turning into something really bad but I hope you liked it :) not too long before the last chapter!
> 
> TOUR STARTS TOMORROW! Are you guys seeing them anytime soon? I personally have to wait til next year cause I live in Europe!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Thank you for being patient :)

‘Wanna hang out at my place after classes?’ Tyler asked, taking a seat next to Josh’s.

It was already the end of November and as much as Josh hated this month, he had to admit that it had went by faster than he had thought a few weeks ago. His relationship with Tyler was now much stronger, they had managed to get things straight and the bet was now behind them. Things were going great, although Tyler was becoming more and more flirty, not that Josh minded, he really didn’t, he was simply waiting for the day the other student would actually make a move.

‘Of course, I do. Will your parents be there, though?’

Josh knew Tyler had talked to his parents about the bet, about how badly he had behaved for the past month and even though he was happy to call the other student his friend again, he didn’t mind staying away from his family for a little longer. Tyler’s father, but especially Tyler’s brother, were probably the people he was the most scared of right now. Whenever he was unlucky enough to cross Zack in the hallways of this high-school, he would immediately lower his head to the ground and avoid any eye contact. That, or turning around to run away.

‘They’re not going to hurt you, you know?’ Tyler said, joking.

‘If you could see the way your brother looks at me every day, you wouldn’t be so sure about that.’

‘Come on, Josh, he’s doing it on purpose.’ Tyler clarified, placing one of his hands on his shoulder. ‘He knows you’re scared, and I think he’s enjoying it a lot.

‘Well, I’m scared of him.’ Josh said, earning a small laugh from Tyler. This one was taking his notebook out of his bag and was about to say something, but Josh cut him off. ‘And your parents!’ He exclaimed, running his right hand on his hair, sighing. ‘Oh god, don’t get me started. They’re probably going to kill me right there, in your house.’

‘Stop talking nonsense.’ Tyler said, laughing a bit more than a few seconds ago. ‘My mom was the one who told me to forgive you.’ He added, smiling. ‘As for my dad… He’s certainly going to give you the ‘if you hurt my son again, I’ll kill you’ talk, but other than that… It should be okay.’

‘That doesn’t sound ‘okay’ to me.’ Josh answered.

‘Anyway, maybe they won’t even be there. Depends on when they’re done with work. My siblings will probably be home, though.’

‘Okay.’

‘Seriously, Josh. This bet thing is in the past. And they all know that. So, don’t freak out too much over this, alright?’

‘Alright.’ Josh eventually said, still unsure.

He could feel the squeeze of Tyler’s hand on his shoulder and smiled a bit when he realized that Tyler’s touches still had a soothing effect on him. He was about to look up and say something, but this teacher chose this moment to enter the classroom, and Josh stayed silent, giving him a small smile instead.

It was a Friday and it was their last class of the day, meaning Josh could then relax during the whole week-end because his teachers had been surprisingly lenient this week. He wasn’t drowned in homework like he usually was, and he was definitely planning to stay in bed all day long, watching shows or playing video games.

His teacher was currently speaking about something that seemed important, but Josh was too distracted by the way Tyler would bite his lower lip in deep concentration, or by the way his eyebrows would frown whenever he didn’t understand something. His face was mesmerizing, and Josh was probably spending an unhealthy amount of time just looking at him, which was a bit creepy, now he thought about it.

‘Joshua, maybe you should start focusing on the class instead of looking at your neighbor.’ The teacher eventually said, earning a few laughs in the class. 

'More like checking him out.' Brendon added, whispering.

Josh suddenly turned into a blushing mess and immediately looked away, trying to focus on the exercise he was supposed to have finished five minutes ago. He could feel Tyler’s eyes on him, but he was way too embarrassed to look up at him. He answered the first question instead but froze when he felt Tyler’s breathing on him.

‘You don’t look too bad yourself, Joshua.’ He said, and Josh rolled his eyes, giving him a gentle tap on his shoulder.

Luckily for him, the class was soon coming to an end, and Josh stood up and made his way outside the classroom, waiting for Tyler to get out as well. He didn’t have to wait for a long time, considering Tyler was always ones of the first to leave the classrooms and they slowly walked in the corridor, stopping at their respective lockers to leave some of their books inside.

‘Did you take your car this morning?’

‘Nah.’ He simply said, pointing his finger at his skateboard he was carrying between his back and his backpack.

‘Perfect, then let’s take my mine.’

‘Are the others coming?’ Josh asked, referring to Brendon, Pete, and Mark.

‘No.’ Tyler answered. ‘I didn’t ask them. I kinda wanted to have some alone time with you.’ He added, with a small smile.

‘Sweet.’ Josh only answered. ‘Lead the way, then, Ty-guy’.

Tyler only nodded, and Josh observed him taking his cell phone out of his jean’s pocket. This one seemed to be reading a text but quickly looked up at his friend.

‘Lucky for you, Zack is hanging out at your place with Ashley right now. You won’t have to put up with his dirty looks today.’

‘That’s good news.’ Josh said, laughing, while sitting on the passenger’s seat.

It was only a ten minutes’ drive and Tyler was soon parking his car next to his father’s and when Josh realized it meant that this one was certainly already home, he immediately felt his heartbeats speeding up in his chest. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face Tyler’s dad right now, but the other student was already stepping off the car, without leaving him much of a choice.

Josh hurried to join him on the threshold and took a deep breath when this one opened the door. His father was indeed there. He seemed to be in deep concentration on something played on the television and only looked up at them when Tyler spoke, leaving his bag next to the couch.

‘Brought a friend home.’ He said, and Josh gulped when his dad’s eyes fell on him.

‘Oh.’ This one simply said. ‘I see.’ He added. ‘Long time no see, Josh.’

‘Hum… Yeah. It’s… It’s good to see you again, Mr Joseph.’

‘Likewise.’ His dad said, but Josh could hear this one didn’t mean it the slightest.

And Tyler himself seemed to feel the awkward tension between the two of them because the next second, he was taking Josh’s hand in his and leading him to the stairs.

‘We’ll be upstairs!’ He only yelled at his father who stayed silent.

Once Josh entered Tyler’s room, he was happy to see this one looked the same. There still were those posters of Death Cab and Green Day and the small picture of the movie Donnie Darko by his desk. Only one thing had changed: Tyler had pinned some polaroids just over his bed and Josh took a few steps closer to have a better look of them. A lot of them were pictures of Tyler with his family, some with Mark, some with a guy Josh didn’t recognize and he assumed it was someone the student had met in Phoenix. But what made him smile was the two polaroids on the far left. It was two small pictures of the two of them, together, in a park where they had chilled the week before with Brendon.

‘They’re cute.’ He simply said, taking a seat on Tyler’s chair. This one was slumped on his bed and gave him a small smile, nodding.

‘You should dye your hair again.’ Tyler only stated after a few seconds.

‘And why is that?’

‘The red is fading out.’ He said, pointing at his hair.

‘Which color do you think I should choose this time?’ Josh asked, running one of his hands through his hair.

‘Blue?’ He said, unsure. ‘Maybe pink.’ He added. ‘Or yellow!’

‘Alright.’ Josh answered, letting out a small laugh. ‘I guess we’ll have to go to the city center and then you’ll make a decision.’

‘Sounds like a plan.’ Tyler half whispered. This one was laying down on his left side, facing Josh. He had placed one of his arms under his pillow and his eyes were closed. He seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep and Josh thought he looked very cute.

‘Stop stalking me and come cuddle me.’ Tyler eventually said, and Josh was pretty sure he had heard this wrong but when the other boy raised his arm, inviting him on his bed, Josh didn’t hesitate twice and slowly laid down besides him.

Soon, Tyler was placing his head in the crook of his neck and Josh stayed immobile for a few seconds before wrapping an arm around his waist, bringing him closer.

‘Are you okay?’ Josh asked with a gentle voice.

‘Yeah.’ Tyler said, whispering. ‘Just tired.’ He added, placing his right hand on the back of Josh’s neck, playing with the roots of his hair. ‘I miss you.’

Josh didn’t answer anything for a while and started tracing small patterns on Tyler’s back, smiling when Tyler’s body only shifted a bit closer to him.

‘I’m right there?’ Josh said after a few seconds, confused.

‘I know.’ The other boy answered. ‘I still miss you.’ He added. ‘I miss being close to you.’ He clarified. His face was still placed on the crook of his neck and Josh knew this one was avoiding any eye contact because it was easier for him to say this kind of things without being face to face.

Josh himself wasn’t used to have deep conversations with anyone, especially his family, and he perfectly knew how hard and scary it could seem to confide in someone when you were so used to keep every single one of your emotions to yourself. It almost felt wrong, sometimes. Of course, when he had met Tyler at the beginning of the school year, things had started to change a bit and Josh was now more willing to share his feelings but ever since the bet incident, they both had tended to avoid any kind of very intimate topics in their conversations.

‘I miss you too.’ He finally said and smiled when Tyler slowly looked up at him with his hair disheveled. ‘Also, you look very cute.’ He added, and Tyler let out a muffled laugh, placing his forehead on his chest. Josh pressed a small kiss on his head and put his two hands on the back of his neck, running them through his hair. Tyler eventually looked up and stared at him in the eyes for a few seconds, glancing at his mouth a few times before crashing their lips together. And although it wasn’t the first time they kissed, Josh was overwhelmed by the feeling and did the first thing that came to his mind: He bit Tyler’s lower lip and deepen the kiss, letting his hand slide down from Tyler’s hair to his neck, bringing him closer. The other boy seemed to get the hint because he immediately climbed on top on Josh and pressed his lips on his neck, sliding his two hands under his shirt.

‘God, I missed that.’ Josh said, letting his head fall back on Tyler’s pillow, giving him more space. Tyler’s lips moved from his neck to his torso, while unbuttoning his shirt with one of his hands. He stopped midway and looked up at Josh for a while, only to press their lips another time. This time, the kiss was more heated, and Josh couldn’t get enough of it. He was getting lost in the moment and as he placed his two hands on the other boy’s waist, Tyler started rolling his hips down to his crotch, earning a low moan from him. That’s when something clicked in Josh’s brain and this one gently pushed the other boy aside, placing one of his hands on his cheek before speaking.

‘We can’t.’ He said, slowly, and was about to say something else but the other student cut him off.

‘What do you mean?’ Tyler instantly answered, sitting up straight. ‘Of course, we can.’ He added. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Josh said, smiling. ‘I just meant-’

‘Then what the fuck are you saying?’ Tyler added, with a confused expression.

‘Tyler, you didn’t und-’

‘Don’t you want to be with me?’ Tyler asked him, a little angrier than a few seconds ago.

‘Oh my god, can you please shut up?’ Josh interrupted him, making Tyler jump with surprise. This one was looking at him with a scared expression and he quickly pressed a small kiss to his nose before speaking. ‘Of course, I want to be with you!’ He said. ‘I never stopped wanting that.’ He clarified. ‘I meant we can’t do _that_ , making out, having sex.’

‘Why not?’ Tyler asked, still looking a lot more relieved. ‘I want to.’ He said. ‘I want to make you feel good. I want you to make me feel good.’

‘God, please stop saying that, it’s already hard enough as it is.’ He begged, glancing at his crotch. ‘I just… Tyler, I fucked up the first time and I… I just want to take my time with you, alright? I want to do it the right way. And for that, I need to apologize to your family first. And then I want to take you on proper dates. I want to take things slow. To make sure that I’m doing this right. Okay?’

‘Alright.’ Tyler said, pressing himself close to Josh. ‘You’re killing me right now, but I guess… I guess you’re right.’

‘Trust me, I want this just as much as you do, and… I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought of it… Because I did. Countless times, but…’

‘Josh, stop talking, it’s really not helping.’ Tyler complained, and Josh let out a small laugh before kissing him on the cheek.

 

‘Dinner is ready!’ A voice, which Josh recognized being Tyler’s mother’s voice, said loudly, making him jump with surprise.

Tyler instantly got up and stretched his hand to help Josh stand up as well. This one followed him quietly down the stairs and could immediately feel the awkward tension settling in the room when everyone’s eyes fell on him. It was clear Tyler’s family, especially Tyler’s brother who had unfortunately come back for dinner, wasn’t planning on making him more comfortable and Josh sighed for a few seconds, only looking up when Tyler’s mother spoke. She was the only one giving him a reassuring smile.

‘Why don’t you stay over for dinner, Josh? We would be happy to have you here.’ She said, and Josh lowered his head to the ground for a few seconds, trying to take a decision.

‘I don’t know, Mrs Joseph, I… I really don’t want to intrude.’ He answered, with a polite smile. _And I also don’t want to stay in this house any longer cause I feel like your whole family is going to kill me if I do_ , he thought before taking a few steps towards the front door.

‘You’re not bothering us, sweetie.’ Her mother said, and Josh turned around and stayed quiet, ignoring what he was supposed to say. ‘Please. Stay.’ She insisted, and he eventually nodded, sending a text to his mom before taking a seat next to Tyler who instantly placed one of his hand on his knee.

However, he quickly realized he had certainly taken the worst decision since a deep silence settled in the room as soon as he sat down around the table. Tyler’s mother was trying very hard to lighten the mood, but Josh was still being very aware of all the weird looks the others were giving throughout the dinner and he suddenly decided it was enough.

‘Look, I’m sorry, alright?’ He started, and Tyler instantly looked up at him.

‘Josh, you really don’t have to do this.’ He let him know, giving death stares to his father and his brother. ‘My brother and my father are just too stubborn to fucking _move on_ while the whole thing doesn’t even concern them in the first place.’

‘Language, Tyler.’ His father warned him.

‘No, Tyler, they’re right.’ Josh added, before looking at Tyler’s father and Zack who were seated next to each other. ‘You’re both right. For not trusting me. I can’t blame you for this, I wouldn’t even trust myself if I were you. And I know you might be thinking that Tyler is naive for giving me a second chance. I know you’re probably thinking that I’m not sincere. That I’m only messing with him again. And you would be right. To think that. There’s no proof. There’s no evidence showing that I mean it, this time. I guess you’ll just have to believe me. You’ll just have to believe me when I say that I’m aware your son, your brother, didn’t deserve any of that, that I know what I did to him was way out of line, and that I’m sorry. I truly am.’

‘We know you are, sweetheart.’ His mother said, smiling at him, and Josh only smiled back at her. Tyler had placed one of his hands on the back of his neck, but Josh was too focused on the other people seated around the table.

‘For what it’s worth, I’ve no idea what happened but I guess I trust you.’ Tyler’s little brother, Jay, said and Josh let out a small laugh before quietly thanking him.

‘Dad.’ Tyler said. ‘Say something.’ He added with a knowing look.

‘Alright.’ This one eventually said. ‘I guess I might have been a little harsh on you. Although it was completely justified.’

‘I know.’ Josh said.

‘We’ve never taken the chance to actually know you, though. Maybe we can take a fresh start. If you promise me you’ll try to treat my son better this time.’

‘I promise. I really do love your son, and I promise to make it up to him, in every way I can.’ Josh said, smiling shyly at him before bringing his attention to Zack whose face still showed clear suspicion.

‘We were getting along really well.’ Zack started, looking up at him. ‘I know I’m mostly Ashley’s friend, but I actually thought you were a cool guy, you know.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Josh said, lowering his head to the ground.

‘You never, _ever_ , took the time to apologize.’

‘He’s doing it now.’ Tyler said.

‘Yeah, after a whole fucking month, great job, Josh, very impressive.’ Zack cut him off, sarcastically.

‘Seriously, why are you so angry about it, Zack?’ Tyler answered, loudly. ‘It doesn’t even concern you!’

‘But it does, okay? It fucking does!’

‘Boys.’ Tyler’s mother said.

‘I heard you!’ Zack yelled, ignoring his mom. ‘I fucking heard you that day, alright?’ He added. ‘You were on the phone. You were talking to one of your friends, telling him how proud you were because you had managed to get someone to like you, telling him to ‘get the money ready’. I was confused but I ended up thinking that I had misunderstood, because, clearly you were Ashley’s brother, you seemed like a cool guy, so there was no way you could do something like that, right? But then, when I received this text… When I received this fucking picture? My own brother’s journal? Do you know how that made me feel?’

At this point, some tears were already rolling down Josh’s cheeks, and Tyler was slowly bringing him closer. He didn’t know how this one was still determined to support him and to be there for him after hearing all of it, but he stayed silent, because really, Tyler’s touch was the only thing keeping him from bursting into tears.

‘I felt so _stupid_.’ Zack continued. ‘So guilty.’ He added. ‘I kept telling myself that this was all my fault. Of course, you’re going to tell me that you never mentioned Tyler’s name in the conversation and there was no way I could have known you were talking about my own brother but… I could have done something. I could have told Tyler about it and he would have realized you were fucking with him. And I nearly did.  I nearly did! I wanted to. I was trying to but then you just changed the subject.’ He said, talking to his brother. ‘But I could have insisted. I should have told you. And none of this would have ever happened.’

The silence was deafening, and Josh was silently crying, trying to focus on Tyler’s hand tracing small patterns on his back. But this one eventually stood up and made his way towards his brother to take him in his arms.

‘It’s not your fault, Zack, alright? You have to stop beating yourself up because of this. None of this is your fault.’

‘It’s on me.’ Josh said. ‘All of this is on me and I’m sorry you had to hear that.’

‘It’s alright.’ Zack answered, almost whispering. ‘If Tyler found it in him to forgive you, I guess I can do the same. I just wanted you to understand.’

‘Can we please all eat the cake I baked? I’m not sure I can handle all those feelings.’ Her little sister, Madison, said, and everyone let out a small laugh.

They all ate in silence, although sometimes someone would try to engage a conversation to try and change the subject. And it wasn’t perfect, far from it, but Josh was happy to see that now that everyone had said their piece of the story, the atmosphere felt a little less awkward, or at least less oppressive.

He was soon back in Tyler’s room and the other student was watching him with a small smile on his face.

‘Why are you smiling?’

‘What you said to my parents was pretty cute.’ Tyler only answered. ‘I had no idea about Zack, though.’

‘I really feel bad.’

‘It’s not your fault.’ Tyler immediately answered. ‘I mean, it kinda is but… As we said. It’s in the past.’ He repeated, smiling. ‘No need to dwell on it.’ And really, there was no way Josh deserved someone like him.

Josh let his eyes wander on Tyler’s body. This one was lying down on his bed, once again, his tee-shirt was riding up, and a small part of his lower abdomen was visible. He was getting lost in every detail of his body when Tyler spoke again.

‘Hey Josh.’ He said with an amused smile, and only continued when Josh looked at him. ‘Do you work at the post office?’

‘What?’ Josh asked in confusion.

‘Because I can see you checking out my package.’ Tyler said, and Josh stayed silent for a few seconds before bursting into laughter.

‘Oh my god.’ He said. ‘Tyler Robert Joseph, did you just use a pick-up line on me?’

‘Maybe I did.’ Tyler answered, laughing.

‘I’m so proud of you.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, again. I was very busy with plenty of stuff and wasn't feeling the best, either.  
> But anyway, I'm kinda happy about this chapter, and how it turned out. Hope you liked it :)  
> Don't hesitate to tell me what you think, your support means a lot and I can't believe this fic reached more than 200 kudos. Crazy. Thank you so much.


	21. Chapter 21

Josh was sure of one thing. He certainly wasn’t feeling proud of himself for having accepted this bet in the first place, but he didn’t really regret it any more. Sure, he would have been glad to meet Tyler in other circumstances but he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have bothered to do so if Brendon hadn’t come up with this stupid idea.

Tyler was officially his boyfriend now and Josh had always thought it was a silly word. Boyfriend. He didn’t really like the sound of it. But that’s the best thing he found to describe his relationship with Tyler. After all, it was an exclusive relationship, and Josh couldn’t think of any other word to refer to what he had with him.

It was already the end of their last year in high-school. Actually, the year had already ended a few months ago but it didn’t really feel like it to Josh. High-school had played such a big role in his personal development, he had made good friends, lost a few ones too, met potentially what could become the love of his life. After all the things that happened during this school year, he now felt more at peace with himself. And he knew for a fact that Tyler was the main reason he was more confident than ever before.

They were both working at the moment. Josh was working in this music store, which he loved. But he was mostly patiently waiting for the opportunity to join a band, as a drummer. Tyler was working as a waiter, he was also busy writing songs and creating in his free-time but Josh didn’t really know how serious his boyfriend was about music. He did have an idea: After all, Tyler had turned down a basket-ball scholarship to focus on music from what he had told him during the school year, and they had also had a few jamming sessions but for some reasons, they didn’t find themselves talking about the future often.

Or rather, Josh always found a way to shorten the conversation when Tyler started to talk about this kind of things, talk about the future. Because he knew for a fact that his boyfriend could make it. His mind was something he had never seen before and he was amazed by the quality of every song he was showing him. Tyler was something else. He was a poet. He was a true artist and if there was one person who could make it to the top, it was him. This boy would achieve great things. Josh knew that.

But he was different. He was just a drummer. He was easily replaceable, and couldn’t make it on his own. And that’s why he didn’t want to talk about it, sometimes. He was terrified. He was terrified of failing, of having to go on with his job or to go to college to get a degree, to find something more serious. And thinking about becoming a successful musician was okay, talking about it with Tyler, Brendon or even Pete when he was still in high-school was somehow fine too, even if it didn’t really happen many times. But now he was done with high-school and had nothing better to do, talking about it meant making it real, and this, Josh thought, was terrifying.

He was just about to finish his shift when Tyler sent him a text. An interesting text.

‘ _Hey man, can you come over to my house when you’re done? There’s something I have to show you. New song.’_

‘ _Sure thing, I’ll be there in ten.’_

He made his way outside the music store and went down the streets of Columbus with his skate. He was in front of his friend’s house less than fifteen minutes after. Tyler was shooting baskets with his dad and his brother and Josh approached them with a light step, smiling when his boyfriend exclaimed that ‘nobody could possibly beat him’ while blessing them with some stupid dance moves.

‘Hey man’ Josh eventually said after a while.

‘Oh hey!’ Tyler said with a large smile. This one threw the ball to his dad and made his way towards him to peck him on the lips.

‘Hi Josh.’ Tyler’s father said, looking up at him.

‘Hi Mr Joseph.’ Josh answered, politely, before looking at Zack. ‘Hey Zack.’

‘What’s up, man?’

‘Oh you know… Nothing much.’ He said with a smile.

He felt a lot more at ease now Tyler’s family was much more accepting towards him than a few months ago. Zack gave him a small smile and Josh eventually followed his boyfriend in the basement, where his piano was.

‘So I worked on something… And I’m kinda proud of it. I wanted your opinion.’

‘Okay.’ Josh only answered, taking the notebook Tyler was handing him. ‘Which one is it?’

‘Hum… The one called Taxi Cab.’

‘Alright.’ Josh said, and started reading.

 _I wanna fall inside your ghost_  
_And fill up every hole inside my mind_  
_And I want everyone to know_  
_That I am half a soul divided_

 _Sometimes we will die and sometimes we will fly away_  
_Either way you're by my side until my dying days_  
_And if I'm not there and I'm far away_  
_I said, don't be afraid_  
_I said, don't be afraid_  
_We're going home_

At this point, Josh was already amazed by every words and he could feel a few tears rolling down his cheeks when his eyes arrived at the bottom of the page. This song was a masterpiece, such as every little thing Tyler was writing and he was still wondering how his mind was functioning, to be able to create something like that.

‘Dude, are you crying?’

‘No’ Josh instantly said, smiling. ‘I’m not.’

‘You totally are!’ Tyler answered, laughing. But his laugh only lasted a few seconds and Tyler was then back at being serious, looking at him with a concerned expression. ‘What’s going on with you lately?’ He asked carefully, running one of his hands in his yellow hair. ‘You know, Josh I can… I can feel you’re more sensitive than usual and I just… I don’t really know what’s happening to you. I feel like you’re distancing yourself from me, sometimes. You’re less talkative. Even when we’re hanging out with Mark, Pete, or Brendon. You know you can talk to me, right? About anything.’

‘I know.’ Josh answered, and let his boyfriend swipes the tears off his cheeks with his thumbs. ‘It’s just… It’s stupid.’

‘I’m pretty sure it’s not stupid if that makes you feel that way.’

‘I’m… I’m just scared, I guess.’

‘What are you scared of?’

‘Of everything? The future, especially.’

‘I get that.’ Tyler eventually said after a few seconds. ‘Future can be pretty terrifying sometimes. But at least we have each other, right?’

‘Yeah.’ Josh answered, looking down at his knees. ‘Do you really mean that, though?’

‘Of course I mean it, dude, why would you ask me something like that?’

‘I just… I don’t know, I feel like… Tyler, you’re a genius. You’re such a complete artist and I’m just… I’m just a drummer.’

‘Don’t say that.’ Tyler started but Josh didn’t let him the time to go on that he spoke again.

‘No, hear me out, Ty, please. Let me speak.’ Josh said, and waited for Tyler to nod to go on. ‘It’s true, though. You’re such a genius. What you create, it’s… It’s so freaking impressive. I don’t know, I just… I don’t have words to describe what I feel about your songs, about your work. It’s unique, and… I’m just a drummer. I’m easily replaceable and I’m not making a real difference anyway. And I’m sorry I don’t talk as much as I used to. Especially when you start to talk about music, I… I guess I just freak out. It was fine, thinking about being a musician when we were still seniors. It was easy, cause it wasn’t really real. I mean, it was. At least for me it was but… I still had classes. I had classes, I had some obligations but now I’m working in this music store… There is nothing stopping me to go out there and try to make a living out of it. And it’s so scary. It’s so fucking scary Tyler. Cause I know you’re going to make it. Trust me, I know, I have no doubt about it. You’re going to be a great solo artist and you’re going to travel the world and create so many more songs. But me? Maybe I’m pretty good at drumming but… I can’t make it on my own.’

‘Why would you think I would want to become a solo artist, Josh?’

‘I don’t know, you never really talk about… About needing someone here with you, helping you with your creative process.’

‘Because you never let me.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Josh, I can’t make it on my own either. I can’t make it without you. This music thing… If it ever works out… I can’t imagine making it without you. And please don’t ever say you’re easily replaceable ever again. Because you’re not. Josh, you’re a complete artist, too. You’re such a talented drummer. There is this thing… That emanates from you when you’re playing the drums… A beautiful thing, Josh. Something I’ve never seen before. You’re unique, okay? And you already helped me so much in my creative process just by being by my side, you know. And I know it’s scary. God, I’m terrified too, Josh. I’m terrified of not succeeding. But I know that I’m going to do my hardest to make it work. But this… All of it, Josh? It will only be worth it if you’re by my side.’

‘I never thought you would… You would want me in your band.’

‘Our band, Josh. _Our_ band. And since you still seem unsure about all of it, let’s make it official.’ Tyler said.

This one quickly squatted in front of him and Josh looked at him with wide eyes before giving him a confused smile.

‘Tyler, what are you doing?’

‘Joshua William Dun.’ Tyler started and Josh let out a small laugh, still looking him in the eye. ‘Would you do me the honor to join my newly founded band?’

‘Of course I will, you idiot.’ Josh answered, laughing, and Tyler only gave him a large smile while placing himself on his lap to crash their lips together.

‘We still need to find a name, though.’

‘Oh, I already figured this out.’ Tyler only answered. ‘Our band will be called Twenty One Pilots.’

‘Twenty One Pilots?’ Josh asked. ‘I dig that name.’

‘Good.’ Tyler said. ‘Cause we’re going to do some great things you and I.’

Yeah, Josh thought.

 

_Maybe I can’t make it on my own._

_But together? We’re unstoppable._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so. I didn't really know how to end this fic so I decided to make time pass and I wrote this in one hour. I don't know if it's good. Or if it makes complete sense but I kinda like it so here it is. 
> 
> This is the end of this fic. I started it more than one year ago, it's crazy. Thank you so much to everyone who read this, who left kudos and especially to those who posted comments. It means a lot to me and I can't believe you guys had left more than 230 kudos for it. Thank you so much. Maybe I'll post an epilogue, if you're interested. 
> 
> I started a new fic called 'Fall Out Of Formation' if you want to read something new. You can talk to me on Twitter if you feel like it (same username)


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